We, as Canadians, make a big deal out of Valentines Day. Show those you love how special they are. Chocolate, lots of chocolate, roses, hearts and a sea of red and pink are to be part of the celebration. Yesterday we gave our three youngest grandkids their valentine treat. They had no clue what these heart shaped boxes of chocolate were. I gave them hints: did your teacher tell you about cutting out heart shapes, did you buy valentine cards to give to your friends? Nik, being very perceptive says is it about girls? Yeah, kinda. So each of you, get with the programme and let those you love know it!!!!
In Sept Bob had radiation on his spine and since that time he has not had the horrid pain in his hip or back. That has now been five months of celebrating Valentines day. He only takes small amounts of opiates and has functioned at his new normal pace. Bob was even able to do two pieces of glass. He had given that up, so being able to do the glass was a positive. He has been able to drive wherever we went. Bob drove himself to his last infusion. For me this time has been me not being on the edge of the cliff, being able to breath.
The last two visits to the oncologist have shown the cancer markers going up. Don't get me wrong they only went up a wee bit and all the med people celebrated how great Bob is doing. All I can see is the graph going the other way. I guess I am a glass half empty person. Bob has been sleeping so much more and not getting up for night snacks, sleeping until like ten am. He has now started to have pain again in his back and hips. I hate it!!!! It means more pain med, new drugs, chances of all past events happening again. Today I have lost my grip, the anchor is slipping and I am afraid. This is not who I have been and I struggle with it.
Please pray that the pain in Bob will not get worse. Pray that I can do this with the Lord holding onto both of us. Pray that God's love that is with us every day will shine through us to our world.
