Well, today we know for sure that there aren't any clots in Bob's system. Well, hopefully,.... for sure.
Some of the docs believed that the strokes he suffered--what? 2 plus years ago were from the drug that he is on for chemo--Revlimid. As the clots had only formed in the legs not the head--- in the research. The oncologist believes that the clot came from the damaged area of the heart from the heart attack Bob had. Anyhoooo Bob is on blood thinners and is tested bi-weekly and now that he is back on chemo --depending on the INR #--more often.
The nose bleeds that are happening these past few days show- at least to us-- that the blood is moving through the vessels lickity split with no clots to block the way. Yahooooo
A motto--quote from Linda Ryan. --- altho I am sure that we all have thought it.
My advice would be:
"Everything happens for a reason."
Sometimes you get to see the results of the challenges in your life and sometimes you get to practice strengthening your faith.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Emotions, Reality and Learning
Bob had 2 weeks off of the drugs and I didn't notice it that much until yesterday when he started the chemo again and now, I noticed. I took normalcy for granted and didn't notice well..........how common normalcy is until it isn't. I am thinking that in Bob's mind and body the initial start of each week of chemo must feel maniacal. The crash must send his mind and body into a real tail spin. We always hope that then, sweet sleep will come. My Bob, even then, tries to live a life that looks as normal as when not on drugs. He tries to live a life that is normal to me and our kids. I know that puts a tension in his mind and body. The "drug happening" is hard for me to describe and is probably inexplainable for Bob. I love Bob so much. These drugs that give him a longer life make me sad. It is a sadness for who we were together before cancer and an incredible thankfullness that I still have him.
My Bob was diagnosed with multiple myeloma almost 4 years ago. The initial words out of a doctor's mouth was that Bob had between 18 months and 3 years to live. A friend of ours, Greg R., was with us at that time. I remember that being spoken but don't remember much else. I was strong and determined we would get thru this. Bob thankfully doesn't recall any of this.
Little did we know the road that we have started down a road filled with bumps and pot holes. In spite of the jarring that is experienced on this trip we are so thankful for the health that Bob does have. Thankful that he is still able to work at a job that he is enjoying and that helps to keep his mind sharp. We are thankful that he can still do so much to help others and do things for our families.
Yet I deal with the start of each week, kinda lonely as he spins about doing a whole lot of different things--day and night: a glass project, computer stuff, reading on his Kobo, changing out a sink and doing plumbing, making a picture frame--actually 2, reading the paper when it comes in the very early hours.All this yesterday and until noon today. Yesterday he was also on the clock for work so he did a number of pick ups around the city and is constantly in communication with the people working on the estate. Saturday night the crash starts to come. Sunday is a recovery day but also a busy one too. Towards evening he is done. We have learned to take life much slower. There are times that I was beginning to resent this process that is repeated over and over plus adding in the labs and Dr. visits. Seems like a treadmill that is never going to change.
The epiphany is that it isn't going to change and that we still have each other, we can still laugh and enjoy all the things that life has in store for us. The epiphany is that my attitude and Bob's attitude had to change. Rather than waiting for "a change" of some kind --a cure-- we needed to embrace the life we have now as best we are able. This epiphany came about from a visit with a Manitoba friend passing through Calgary to B.C. He shared his loss of his wife and the time leading up to that loss.
I also bought the book Never Leave Your Wingman by Deana J Driver. It is Dionne and Graham Warner's story of hope. They miss the whole part of eternal hope, but still a very brave story of a woman who is and has battled seven kinds of cancer with her husband at her side. They embraced life in ways that seem unbelievable to me knowing how hard it is to deal with cancer and drugs. Yet it is also a challenge to embrace life and what the Lord has for us in a full on style.
God willing we plan to embrace the things we are presented with as much as money and energy allows and make some memories. Our amazing families love us and are the bright and shining star helping to guide us on this road all the while holding tight to the Hand of God our Father.
My Bob was diagnosed with multiple myeloma almost 4 years ago. The initial words out of a doctor's mouth was that Bob had between 18 months and 3 years to live. A friend of ours, Greg R., was with us at that time. I remember that being spoken but don't remember much else. I was strong and determined we would get thru this. Bob thankfully doesn't recall any of this.
Little did we know the road that we have started down a road filled with bumps and pot holes. In spite of the jarring that is experienced on this trip we are so thankful for the health that Bob does have. Thankful that he is still able to work at a job that he is enjoying and that helps to keep his mind sharp. We are thankful that he can still do so much to help others and do things for our families.
Yet I deal with the start of each week, kinda lonely as he spins about doing a whole lot of different things--day and night: a glass project, computer stuff, reading on his Kobo, changing out a sink and doing plumbing, making a picture frame--actually 2, reading the paper when it comes in the very early hours.All this yesterday and until noon today. Yesterday he was also on the clock for work so he did a number of pick ups around the city and is constantly in communication with the people working on the estate. Saturday night the crash starts to come. Sunday is a recovery day but also a busy one too. Towards evening he is done. We have learned to take life much slower. There are times that I was beginning to resent this process that is repeated over and over plus adding in the labs and Dr. visits. Seems like a treadmill that is never going to change.
The epiphany is that it isn't going to change and that we still have each other, we can still laugh and enjoy all the things that life has in store for us. The epiphany is that my attitude and Bob's attitude had to change. Rather than waiting for "a change" of some kind --a cure-- we needed to embrace the life we have now as best we are able. This epiphany came about from a visit with a Manitoba friend passing through Calgary to B.C. He shared his loss of his wife and the time leading up to that loss.
I also bought the book Never Leave Your Wingman by Deana J Driver. It is Dionne and Graham Warner's story of hope. They miss the whole part of eternal hope, but still a very brave story of a woman who is and has battled seven kinds of cancer with her husband at her side. They embraced life in ways that seem unbelievable to me knowing how hard it is to deal with cancer and drugs. Yet it is also a challenge to embrace life and what the Lord has for us in a full on style.
God willing we plan to embrace the things we are presented with as much as money and energy allows and make some memories. Our amazing families love us and are the bright and shining star helping to guide us on this road all the while holding tight to the Hand of God our Father.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Groundhog Day
February the first has sure come around in a hurry. I guess it is time for my Christmas dishes to be put away. I am still enjoying their cheerful look with every glass of water or cup of tea.
Groundhog day---it is interesting when we try and tell the preschool kids this folk tale. I am sure some of them think adults are strange!!!perhaps we are. However the kids also know that God is in charge of gophers and weather and us. How grateful we are that our Heavenly Father knows us and cares for us in all aspects of our lives.
Bob had an appointment with Dr. Bahlis yesterday at 5:30pm. We consider it bad news when he meets with Dr. Bahlis as we only see him when he finds "something". Bob usually sees a resident doctor. Therefore the initial reaction was UH OH good afternoon Dr. Bahlis. Then Bob thought oh!! no one else around hmmm everyone else has gone home. Dr. Bahlis didn't want to get to close to Bob---must have a fear of cold germs!!!! The numbers from lab results continue in the right direction-----down.
For my sister: Monoclonal #1---2.2 (always was low, even at the height of disease).
HGB---140
Creatine---78
Kappa/Lambda Free Ratio----.82
---------the numbers are low so we are so thankful that Bob was diagnosed when he was or Bob would still be taking Robaxacet.
Bob gets an extra week off of Chemo to try and clear up the cold, then back to the drug routine, plus Feb. 27--CT scan and Feb.28--PETscan.
These scans will tell if the cancer in the lymph nodes has disappeared. The scans will also tell whether there are any new lesions on any bones.
In spite of everything, we praise the Lord for the awesome care that Bob has and is receiving at the Tom Baker Cancer Center.
"We may be diagnosed with cancer, but we are NOT cancer. We can still love, laugh, give, forgive, and be grateful, have a sense of humor--in other words, live fully, even with physical limitations"......Cora Behrens
Groundhog day---it is interesting when we try and tell the preschool kids this folk tale. I am sure some of them think adults are strange!!!perhaps we are. However the kids also know that God is in charge of gophers and weather and us. How grateful we are that our Heavenly Father knows us and cares for us in all aspects of our lives.
Bob had an appointment with Dr. Bahlis yesterday at 5:30pm. We consider it bad news when he meets with Dr. Bahlis as we only see him when he finds "something". Bob usually sees a resident doctor. Therefore the initial reaction was UH OH good afternoon Dr. Bahlis. Then Bob thought oh!! no one else around hmmm everyone else has gone home. Dr. Bahlis didn't want to get to close to Bob---must have a fear of cold germs!!!! The numbers from lab results continue in the right direction-----down.
For my sister: Monoclonal #1---2.2 (always was low, even at the height of disease).
HGB---140
Creatine---78
Kappa/Lambda Free Ratio----.82
---------the numbers are low so we are so thankful that Bob was diagnosed when he was or Bob would still be taking Robaxacet.
Bob gets an extra week off of Chemo to try and clear up the cold, then back to the drug routine, plus Feb. 27--CT scan and Feb.28--PETscan.
These scans will tell if the cancer in the lymph nodes has disappeared. The scans will also tell whether there are any new lesions on any bones.
In spite of everything, we praise the Lord for the awesome care that Bob has and is receiving at the Tom Baker Cancer Center.
"We may be diagnosed with cancer, but we are NOT cancer. We can still love, laugh, give, forgive, and be grateful, have a sense of humor--in other words, live fully, even with physical limitations"......Cora Behrens
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