Devastation

In the previous post I said that none of the days were wasted.  I truly want to believe that about each event that comes into my life-----I think I am safe in speaking for Bob too, so, what comesinto our lives.  Each day and each event that we have is not wasted in God's purpose for our lives.  I suppose if we are able to surrender to the Lord completely, and know that, not only the nice warm fuzzy things are going to be coming into our lives, but also the hard, earth shattering, dirty things may also enter into our experiences, we could hope and believe and know that none of these things are wasted but are ultimately for our spiritual good and growth.

 This idea of "wasted" is part of a song I had heard on galaxy radio.  I was busy sewing and not really listening---so I missed most of it and have no idea the name of the song.  However the phrase "nothing is wasted with our Redeemer" caught my attention.  Over the past many weeks I have pondered that phrase over and over.  I suppose the floods out here in Alberta brought the song's words to the fore front again.  How would God use these events for the ultimate good of the folks devastated by the loss of their homes, possessions, financial ruin, businesses in ruin-----it truly is horrible.  I was wondering if one of those homes had been mine could I still grab hold of Jesus' hand and walk with Him through all that needs doing?  I want to believe that we could do exactly that.  We have watched people on TV say exactly that,--- that God will see them through, "it is only stuff, thankful no one was killed."  Should people honestly and humbly begin to look to the Lord for strength, the days will not be wasted.  Samaritan's Purse has been out in High River, in Calgary, on the First Nation reservations helping not only physically but also being there to listen to and speak with hurting people.  We call it Samaritan's Purse but the people are volunteers from so very many churches across this area.  Truly they are Samaritans --giving up their own lives for 1 day, 2 days or??? days to help people they don't know and may never see again.  It was great that our church had many fellas go out to do this back breaking, smelly work.  To shovel out a basement of that heavy wet mud (which was not only soil mud) after the water had been sucked out was tough and then all of the stuff!!!!! so that there was nothing left in the basement just the concrete walls was not only hard but emotionally draining.  I was proud of our grandsons--Colton and Ashton--they helped in Calgary for one home.  They helped their Uncle Devon and Shane shovel and empty out the basement of  friends of theirs, who are elderly.  The boys came home totally pooped and very filthy.  In order to officially help, a person needs to be 18 years old, so they only did that one house.  All these experiences help the boys too.

I am thinking that much of the horror that  I sense about this flood comes from the one day that I spent out in High River.  We were away for the most part of the flood aftermath and returned after the 2 week mark (however that is for the next blog).  I made sandwiches and muffins  and took a turn to go out with the group from our church that had set up food tents and had been out there pretty much from the get go.  I had this sense of...oh I don't know---I am doing something so noble, so good.  I suppose I was in a way, doing something good, but with the wrong attitude.  From where this tent was, the devastation was---dry and "under control" but I could see and imagine how horrible it had been during the short time previous.  It was heartbreaking to see the elderly couples come for food and coffee  and return to the homes that they enjoyed into their retirements.  These same homes that were being torn apart and all their "stuff" was being dumped outside, strangers were in and out of their homes.  Each of these home owners was so thankful for the help and for the bit of comfort the fresh food brought.  The whole situation made me feel so sad and from what I was told I had no idea how it had been, how muddy, smelly, destroyed-- but I could imagine.  I believe that we were there to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus--to comfort, encourage and listen.  I realize that doing those things is not noble, maybe good, but it truly is all about serving and obeying what one believes God desires of them.  The couple that I went out with took a ride around the town after our shift.  There were areas that no one was allowed into.  Yet we could see the horribleness of the situation.  The scene that stays in my mind ---behind a road block was a long street with the trees on either side that grey color, the road, sidewalks?, boulevards--everything covered in this brown color and walking down the center was one person, all alone, dressed in a white hazard suit, hood up,big boots, big gloves, and a face mask--big, like it could have been more than just a mask.  That picture made me think of those end of the world science fiction movies.  Truly made me feel...........sad, like the town had been thwarted.  In some ways it has been..  There are many more scenes that totally unnerved me that showed the unleashed power of nature.  As much as we desire and aspire to control our environment we cannot.  People really do need to know the Lord.  How could we survive this kind of event if we didn't believe that not one day or event is a waste with the Lord.  How could Tim and Barbie survive?  How could Trent and Janelle survive, Dave and Dianne?  How could Bob and I survive if we didn't believe that there is a larger, eternal purpose for us.  Our horrible--cancer-- is only for a short season.  May we be faithful not to waste what God is walking with us through. 


Bob's journey brings a PET scan on July 29, news of the appointment in today's mail.

Deciphering

Taking me a long time to get back to the blog, I allow so much to take up my time in drips and drivels.  Truth be known I am also a horrible procrastinator.  Today the sun isn't shining so it is the kind of day that suggests putting ones thoughts on paper would be ok.

This week Bob will not be having chemo so we are still deciphering how just receiving the velcade on last Fri. is working.  Without the other two drugs some of the velcade side affects were more noticeable.  The nausea and sick feeling stomach lasted through Sunday.  Bob does take the anti nausea drugs so he wasn't actually sick, which is a blessing---he just didn't feel that well.  The neuropathy is bad, his feet are just "crawling", so Bob is using the Tiger Balm but probably not as often as he should.  He also thought that he would stop taking gabapenton.  This is to help with the neuropathy.  Sheesh I forget which side affect that drug gives Bob that he doesn't like.  Anyway you get the picture, so Bob is taking that drug again.  The big side affect is being tired, probably from everything.  After typing all that I would have to say that Bob is doing well!!!!  There is no cancer pain (bone pain).  He is working pretty much full time again.  He leaves work earlier when he needs and on any treatment days, or Dr. days, Bob is able to take the time as needed.  Sooooooo very thankful for this job.  Bob's desire is to work as long as he is able.  A friend asked "didn't he want to take the time and retire and do other things?"  Bob hasn't gotten to 65 yet and as we are not independently wealthy he was striving to hit that goal first.  We have never travelled so travelling is hard to think about (crazy, I know).   Perhaps there will come a time when we would chance to dabble in travelling, other than to see family.  Bob just replied to his friend "I like to work, that is what I know".  The hobbies that Bob has take a fair bit of change to accomplish as well.  All in all in my deciphering, Bob is great therefore I am great.

We just celebrated our  FORTY THIRD wedding anniversary!!!  You may wonder, just like we have, "how is that possible!!!!".  I will tell you a wee secret:...... we were married as children.(laugh now)  Well, now a days, we would have been considered almost children.  However we were full fledged adults and knew everything.  We learned life together over these 43 years and learned that we knew almost nothing.  Every marriage is a huge learning curve----wow!!!!  Thinking how fast time has gone by can make me feel pensive(as perhaps melancoly is to strong a word!!!!?! ) Three years ago we had our pictures taken for our anniversary.  Bob was totally off of drugs at the time and was looking so very well.  I sent a number of those pics out kinda like an anniversary card rather than wait for Christmas.  I did this mainly because I didn't think Bob would ever be as well as he was then.  Now these three years later, he is still doing well.  I (we) have learned so much about trust and dependance and acceptance and the love of God during this time that for us not one of these days has been wasted.

Firstly

Lots to write, but firstly: Bob was to see Dr. Bahlis yesterday July 11 (our 43rd anniversary).  The news is encouraging and gave a greater cause for celebration.  First the numbers:
               WBC  4.8
               RBC    3.6
               HGB    113
               Platelets  168
               Creatine  15780
                Protein   2.07
Bob only did the tests the same day as the visit so results for tumor markers and a couple of other tests weren't ready when he saw Dr. B.

Dr. B. is going to move to a maintenance regime for a time and see how that goes.  Beginning this Fri. Bob will only receive the velcade as the chemo dose.  He will receive this every other week.  Dr. B. wasn't convinced about the Spain trial.  Bob will have to go into the hospital as it is an infusion.  The neuropathy will continue to be a side affect.  We are now rubbing his feet with something that has a high menthol content.  Dr.  B. suggested he read some good results from that???  We have started with Tiger Balm which Bob's uncle Jake had suggested years ago for whatever aches.

The other side affects---the diabetes (for 2 days) the constipation, and the hyper activity and no sleep from the dex, hopefully will be gone.  The  tiredness at other times may continue but that one is easy (mostly).

A PET scan is being set up for the next mo. or so.  That is what tells the real story.  Once we see those results we will truly rejoice with the maintenance regime.  Altho very thankful that the rest of the summer could be easier on Bob --drug wise.

One more number that Bob is pleased about--thot I'd share with you:  BMI is 27,1200 with the upper number for him being 30,000.  Sheesh--I am walking---hopefully diligently, every day to get a healthier BMI.