Please Proceed............Again

What a nice week we enjoyed this past week.  I am not sure what made it special but I am thinking that it was the lifting of a fog or the lifting of a tension or urgency that surrounded us for the previous two weeks.  Bob felt good, altho by Sunday night and last night (Mon) the pain in the bones was returning esp in bed--must be the pressure when he lies down on the places where the cancer has shown itself.  Aside from that we relaxed and enjoyed life more sans the body and mental tension.

 Bob is working on a glass project and spent time on that--re designing, changing, going back to the glass store for another/ different piece of glass.  Bob deals at Rubyiat Stained Glass Store.  They are more of a  restorative, commissioned place and should you ever have the need to see some amazing pieces in progress that is the place to go.  PLUS the new west LRT runs right by it-----at the way up high in the sky part.  We plan to take that western LRT ride very soon.  

 We went out for dinner at the Bolero restaurant  with three other couples and truly did enjoy the evening.  The restaurant is something we hadn't experienced before.  I believe it is Brazilian.  You help yourself to a salad bar, to dishes I was only vaguely familiar with but they were very tasty.  The main course (read: meats) is all cooked and served on swords.  The waiters come back and forth to your table and cut pieces off of what ever is on the sword--chicken, lamb, fish, several kinds of beef (always rare--yuk), pork and on and on---17 different swords each different.  The whole meal is an explosion of many flavors but not overly spicy.  It was fun just to experience something different.  Bob's boss picked up the tab so that made the whole experience very sweet---just like the roasted pineapple.  Thanks NJ.

We also had Tim and Barbie's kids over one night.  They are sure great kids.  Bob spent a lot of time with Colton.  Colton is driving so he was grandpa's chauffeur for a couple of days.  That way there were actual destinations to get to and not "turn left, turn right, ok turn left again".  At the end of April Colton will be 16 yikes..........................It was a good week.

Proceed----Bob has left to do a couple of errands for work and then on to Tom Baker Cancer Center.  Proceeding to the lab and then to the waiting room and then to have the chemo.  He has the anti nausea meds with him so I am sure that they will continue to work.  Proceed home.  This time we have an idea of what to expect but our life now slows down (as if...it was set on the rabbit!!!).  Looking forward to these two weeks not being as daunting as last time.  I have a hard time keeping all the appointments and times straight.  Bob manages "because he has a Blackberry".  But I ask you; who will remind you to put a hat on, take water, and say I love you------no Blackberry I've seen.

The friend who sent me this quote begins chemo this week for breast cancer.  Keep the faith Nancy!!!
"To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring.  This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation.  We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God."

See-saw

Yesterday, Monday the 21st of Jan. turned out to be a sun shiny day!! That song from long ago popped into my head......

the rain is gone,  I can see all obstacles in my way, here is that rainbow I've been praying for-----it's going to be a bright sunshiny day

I think that Bob Marley did the song but I am not really a music guru and really---who cares who did the song?

We weren't sure what the visit to the oncologist would bring after the two low weeks, feeling that the cancer was getting away on Bob and that some days with all the side affects it was looking rather bleak.

First good sign: - we were ushered from the waiting area into the "doctor's room" in rather quicker time than usual,  second sign-no Dr. Bahlis,  but in came Dr. Neri, that is really encouraging!!!!....YES, Starting to feel like we are on our way up.

Dr. Neri went over the blood work which is all pretty much in the normal range.  The bone marrow biopsy showed only 3% myeloma cells.  Donna, (my sister) told me that the docs don't diagnose multiple myeloma until there is at least 10% myeloma cells in the biopsy.  The Dr. then went to the PET and MRI scans and they show the number of lesions (or cancer spots).  Bob has them on his shoulder, lumbar region, plus higher on the spine plus the pelvis.  The doc also did PSA test to check if cancer was coming from the prostate---no that was good.  Now the doc has a new base line and will need to rely on the visual scans to see what is happening with the cancer as the blood does not show the extent of the cancer.  She (Dr. Neri) told Bob, once again, that he is not typical and the cancer does not present itself typically.  Bob will now do 3 more cycles of  2 weeks on, 1 week off of  chemo before the tests are all redone.  At that point they want to see if the chemo has changed the lesions---as in gone or diminished.  At that point any course change will take place or if things have gone well Bob will continue on with this regime.   All the side affects were normal even if they were scary to us,  Bob is not crazy, this stuff, the side affects, is what happens on these drugs phweeee that was a relief.  Dr. Neri was very positive and made us feel like hey all is well.  Up, up we were going.  Our trip is a go.  Bob will miss a visit with the oncologist but back right in time to start another new week so as it turns out we are gone over the off days!!!!!

We came from the bottom to the top of the see saw on a bright shiny day ----a real shiny day, which has been a rarity in Calgary these days.  

Thank you, once again, to God the Father who answers the  prayers from so many.

Family

Saturday again, the weeks really do march along quickly the older we get.

I know that people must have prayed for Bob this week,as the side affects were not as bad as last week.  Thank you, Lord, for answered prayer. Bob is sleeping now, I can tell by the snoring coming from the next room.  That is ok since he really does miss out on sleep on a lot of the nights.  It is ok, too, because Mike and Cori and the kids are in town for the weekend and are coming to our house for supper.  Bob needs to sleep before we have company. Tim and Barbie and the kids will come for dessert.  It makes me so pleased to have both of my kids and their families around.  That also makes Bob happy, actually brings him to tears.  Families are such a challenging blessing.

The appointment with the oncologist is on Mon. but the week off of chemo starts on Tues.  I can see the effect of the dexamethazone already.  Bob is loosing muscle fast.  Hate that look.  We are both looking forward to the week off and trusting that there won't be any added appointments.  This week Bob had both a PET scan and an MRI plus he was to the lab 2x so there should be some results in on Mon. 

Bob has kept up a decent work schedule, as well.   We can't say often enough how grateful we are for the company he works for.  Some of the side affects may cause Bob to think about going on disability but he is determined to stay as long as he is able.  The folks he works along side are being great as well.

I have to say that Bob also drove himself where he needed to be this week.  As my sister would say: "of course he did".

Continuing to continue on, one day at a time.

Reality

Here we are on a Saturday afternoon, one day after the first week of the new treatment for Bob's myeloma.
Honestly, cancer sucks the life out of you.  Maybe that is wrong!!!!, maybe it is the drugs that kill the cancer that sucks the life out of you.  Either way the fight is hard.  It is hard on Bob and it is also hard on me and our family.  The Lord is so gracious to us and so caring so I really do hate to complain but sheeeesh this is tough.
Even as I have written that grumbling, what comes to mind is that all of this has passed through my Father's Hands and He knows and He understands; me, Bob and each of our kids and grandkids.

Have you ever received a book as a gift and didn't really read it just kinda flipped through it?  I received a book a few years back from one of my first friends, here in Calgary, Becky.  The book is by Charles Swindoll, entitled encouragement for life  words of hope and inspiration.   I am trying to stream line my book library and happened upon this small book.  The Lord saved it for such a time as this---when words of hope would be needed for an answer to new worries, new hurts, new anger.  

Bob is sleeping, or maybe reading again.  He tells me he feels so beaten up today.  The side affect that he had yesterday evening was the first like this and was scary.  Bob got really cold--- that is not new, so he wrapped up in blankets as we watched a movie.  Then it became more like chills and then the shaking began.     We did the electric blanket in bed, added another comforter and finally it stopped.  It is on the list of side effects ---- only call if the fever lasts????  A lady from our church who has a brother with this same cancer said to me one day that her brother remarked that "he didn't get a chance to grow old, he just got old".  That thought has haunted me in the back of my mind for months and I fear that it could be true.  As I sit and write this out in my melancholy I am mostly doing it for me so take it as an insight into our life--nothing that can be fixed,--something that has to be worked through---- first in the mind and then in life.

Becky, my friend, has moved away to another city but I have the book and the comfort from the words that Swindoll wrote about my Father:
"When we are suffering, only Christ's perspective can replace our resentment with rejoicing.  I've see it happen in hospital rooms.  I've seen it happen in families.  I've seen it happen in my own life.
Our whole perspective changes when we catch a glimpse of the purpose of Christ in it all.  Take that away, and it's nothing more than a terrible bitter experience...................................only Christ's perspective can replace our resentment with rejoicing.  Jesus is the central piece of suffering's puzzle.  If we fit Him into place, the rest of the puzzle----no matter how complex and enigmatic--begins to make sense."

my grace is sufficient

for you, for power is

perfected in weakness.

2Cor. 12:9

Day One of Day One

Monday the 7th seemed to be a very long day with a sense of?? anticipation, hesitation, dread, the unknown.    Perhaps all of the above.  This was the day before Bob's first round of a "new", or rather a different, for Bob, cancer regime for the multiple myeloma.

We had been made aware of the possible side affects of the new drug combined with the two Bob was already receiving.  We prepared.....buckets in the vehicles with a towel.......check, purchase the drugs for nausea and shingles.......check, have the insulin and"pokers" ready.......check, snacks for the night, along with lots of liquid.........check,  ask our small group, friends and relatives to pray........check.  We were ready.

The new drug is given by IV so that requires set up but the actual "receiving" of the drug only takes a couple of minutes.  Before this Bob took the anti nausea tablet and received the other meds.  What we were concerned about was the dex as it 3x what he was on.  This is the cannabolic steroid----makes Bob hyper, diabetic (for a couple of days), and does not allow sleeping.

Thanks to the prayers of so many for the first day of this regime, all was well.  Bob did not get sick, he slept for a few hours and the blood sugar never went over 18.  We even went to our Tues. night small group and had a very special time with those folks.  The biggest step is that Bob went to work today. The day was fine for him--some pain but he took meds at noon and is good. He would really like to be able to work through this if possible so we will see once these 2 weeks are done.  Bob's supervisor and the HR person seem to be willing to try and make it happen.  Tough call though, as we are looking at about 6 months of this routine.  

I have relaxed, and all is good.  Bob is calm and all is good.

Our Father God is loving and caring and we are grateful that He has answered prayer.

On the road again

My dear husband is very unique in himself.  No one has his sense of humor, his kind heart, his compassion, his empathy, his generosity or the love Bob has for the people in our family.  We should not have been surprised when once again the doctor said that Bob's cancer does not present itself in the usual way.  After all he is a unique individual!!!!!!  What this means is that the myeloma cells are once again doing their thing--no longer under control.  

The pain has once again proven to be the clue that there is more going on than pain.    Bob has myeloma showing on several ribs, on the pelvis and several areas of the spine and we are also thinking shoulder(because of pain).  Dr. Bahlis was quick to formulate a plan.  We knew that Bob was in trouble when Dr. Bahlis, himself, came into the appointment rather than the resident doctor.  The drug combo of the past four years is no longer working.  On Tues.  Jan. 8, Bob will begin a new cocktail that we are trusting, the Lord will use to once again arrest the cancer.  This attack, from how we see it before beginning, will be tougher both physically on Bob and perhaps emotionally as well.  Bob continues on the revlimid and dexamethazone and adds in velcade.  This could prove to be really challenging --- in the side affect area.  It may also prove challenging as to receiving the meds and doing all the lab work involved re: the blood sugar spikes and the affect on the INR----blood clotting or not clotting.  The velcade is an injection to be received at the hospital, 2x a week, 72 hours apart, not sure how the other 2 will be dispensed this time.  This will be a 2 week on, 1 week off cycle, seeing Dr. Bahlis on the week off.  Makes me tired reading about it!!!!!!!!!

Bob is planning to continue working---through one cycle, to see if it is possible.  Then we will make appropriate decisions.  Our grandson, Colton, is finished exams and will be on semester break from Jan17-Jan. 31 and is driving towards getting his driver's license so he may do some of the driving and waiting.  We will see how Bob does at the first treatments.

Bob also has an MRI scheduled on Jan. 10 and a PET on the 17th.

Please pray that the chemo will be effective in stopping the myeloma.  Please pray that the side affects will be VERY minimal.  Please pray that both of us will practice grace.