Merry Christmas to each of you who are reading this blog. Some on paper and some on blogspot. I have been posting something about the cancer journey, Bob has been on, for these many years. I think people may get tired of hearing about our journey and our prayer requests. Perhaps fatigue over the same old thing or perhaps just the fact that so many of us are on our own personal journey with many different tough situations. However when you think of us please do offer a prayer for Bob for lack of pain, quality of life in keeping with his health. Pray that I will not allow myself to slip into morose. Pray that I will continue gracefully loving and caring for my Bob.
For Bob December began and continued on from November. The pain in behind his ear radiates to his shoulder and now down the jaw. The jaw also has tingling and numbness. Our family doc gave Bob a viral cream to put in the ear. The ear is pretty much clear. The green gucky stuff is gone. Bob went back to the family doc who looked back at the Aug. PET scan and thought that the lesions (tumors) on C3 and T1 may be causing the problem by pushing on something. We got in to see our oncologist yesterday, like a Christmas miracle, on one day notice.
An aside here: Last week at the end of the week Bob received a call from Alberta Lab services that they wanted to redo the lab results that they had done 2 weeks ago. Bob went in this past Monday with the 24 hr urine and the blood work was also redone. That happened before our appointment with the family doc or the appointment with the oncologist. God always has our back!!!!!!!! We told the oncology nurse that this had been done and she was amazed that she had not been informed. This requisition had come from the lab.
As we met with our oncologist the results that he was looking at were only days old and Bob is only in the middle of his cycle. Once again the cancer markers are down and this in 2 weeks. For my medical people: Kappa Free down to 33.39 from34.2 which is going in the right direction Lambda Free1.83 from .28 also going in the right direction which put the ratio at 18.25 from 122.14 which is also the right direction. Urine protein .12 well in the normal range. Praise God kidneys are fine. Neutrophils 2.3 in the normal range---just but there!!!!! Once again Dr. B so "over the moon" with these numbers as Bob is part of his research. He assured us that he did not believe this pain was from the multiple myeloma lesions. He believes there may be an infection in the mucus??!!!!! behind the ear. He gave a name to this which I did not write down and which I couldn't find thru doc google since the name had kind of escaped me. sighhhhhh. He gave Bob a prescription for a different antibiotic this is a sulfa antibiotic. However he is ordering a MRI for the base of the skull to cover all the bases. Should Bob get better with the antibiotic then we are to cancel the MRI.
That is the medical journey thus far this month. :-} .
Since this is also partly our Christmas letter I will let you know that our families are both in a relatively stable condition. All are working or studying, or still attending school. They are all healthy. They, well at least the little ones are growing like weeds. The older ones don't want to grow in either direction. Our youngest grandchild is closing in on 5 and our oldest well on his way to 21.
We get to spend time with them regularly as both Mike and Barbie and their families live close. This has been a huge blessing for Bob and I.
Each family member is on a unique journey of their own. Learning new skills, packing away knowledge, learning about people and situations that have to be dealt with. We are proud of each and every one of them.
The most important Christmas journey was the one that Mary and Joseph made to Bethlehem over two thousand years ago. This journey had been foretold in scripture through the prophets centuries earlier. Bethlehem was to be the place where the Savior of the world was to be born. Sadly Jesus was not who most of the world wanted as a Savior. He did not have an army to over throw the Romans. Even though Jesus healed many people physically He did not heal everyone. Jesus did not make 'life on earth" perfect for anyone. The journey of Jesus to earth and then his death on the cross and His Resurrection do give us an amazing way to live on earth. He promises to never leave or forsake us. He dwells within us. He gives us His strength, His wisdom, His peace, His love, His joy.
Once we accept Jesus as King of our lives and confess with our mouths that Jesus is our Savior and we want Him to journey with us through this life. We will live eternally in heaven and continue to praise and worship our Lord Jesus Christ forever.
Now that is a journey worth being on.
Thursday, December 14, 2017
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
TILT A WHIRL NOV. 2017
Another month of up and down and all around. Kinda like a tilt-a-whirl at the mid-way rides.
Bob spent four days in the hospital before Hallowe'en. Bob spiked a fever and had the chills, sweats and shakes so off we went to emergency. Bob had just finished a course of antibiotics for a nasty ear infection and was still on antibiotic drops. I cannot imagine how any germs are left inside of his body as Bob was put on some heavy duty IV antibiotics. His blood count was low again. He was also a bit on the dehydrated side. The saline soon had him nice and plumped up in short order and of course using the washroom a lot.
However, with all the testing, even a CT of his head, a site of infection was not readily determined. Bob then came home on another round of oral antibiotics.
The next week was our Tom Baker Cancer Care visits. Up, up we went this time. The protein that the oncologist follows as the cancer marker was low. This blew us away as we expected something totally different. The numbers were as low as they have been in the nine year, four month battle!!!! I have never seen so much teeth showing on Dr. B's face. So we went ahead for Bob to continue on the current regime the next day. Why take a chance that the cancer would go the other way? Even in only a weeks delay. Before one of the chemos will be dropped Bob's protein numbers would have to remain stable for three to four months. He is on four chemo drugs all oral but the one, so getting off of chemo isn't happening any time soon. Multiple Myeloma would pop up without having a sword at it's throat so chemo will always Bob's normal. Bob is handling the side affects well for now. He is tired and sleeps a fair bit depending on the day. He is also rather week so lots of sitting or walking is not good. In all actuality though, this normal is doable for both of us.
Down, down we went the other day. Bob had to meet with our GP after the hospital stay. His appt was this past Mon. Dr. G took another swab of the ear. He said he wanted to be sure there was no lingering infection. Today Bob can hear? can sense? the same popping in his ear. He called the GP and got an appointment for next week, BUT with the advice to phone at 8:00am tomorrow and they may have a cancellation and they will fit him in.
We have cast all our worries and anxiety at the Lord's feet. In truth, we have ceased to worry about this cancer or the days ahead BUT as each incident comes along we do our best to battle the cancer. Bob is a guinea pig of sorts now and our desire is that a cure will be found not only for multiple myeloma but for all cancers. This is an insidious disease that robs victims and families of a life that we think we should have. Hope for eternal life with Jesus is a real and promised hope, the life we think we should have will be gone but heaven is for ever. Praise God.
Bob spent four days in the hospital before Hallowe'en. Bob spiked a fever and had the chills, sweats and shakes so off we went to emergency. Bob had just finished a course of antibiotics for a nasty ear infection and was still on antibiotic drops. I cannot imagine how any germs are left inside of his body as Bob was put on some heavy duty IV antibiotics. His blood count was low again. He was also a bit on the dehydrated side. The saline soon had him nice and plumped up in short order and of course using the washroom a lot.
However, with all the testing, even a CT of his head, a site of infection was not readily determined. Bob then came home on another round of oral antibiotics.
The next week was our Tom Baker Cancer Care visits. Up, up we went this time. The protein that the oncologist follows as the cancer marker was low. This blew us away as we expected something totally different. The numbers were as low as they have been in the nine year, four month battle!!!! I have never seen so much teeth showing on Dr. B's face. So we went ahead for Bob to continue on the current regime the next day. Why take a chance that the cancer would go the other way? Even in only a weeks delay. Before one of the chemos will be dropped Bob's protein numbers would have to remain stable for three to four months. He is on four chemo drugs all oral but the one, so getting off of chemo isn't happening any time soon. Multiple Myeloma would pop up without having a sword at it's throat so chemo will always Bob's normal. Bob is handling the side affects well for now. He is tired and sleeps a fair bit depending on the day. He is also rather week so lots of sitting or walking is not good. In all actuality though, this normal is doable for both of us.
Down, down we went the other day. Bob had to meet with our GP after the hospital stay. His appt was this past Mon. Dr. G took another swab of the ear. He said he wanted to be sure there was no lingering infection. Today Bob can hear? can sense? the same popping in his ear. He called the GP and got an appointment for next week, BUT with the advice to phone at 8:00am tomorrow and they may have a cancellation and they will fit him in.
We have cast all our worries and anxiety at the Lord's feet. In truth, we have ceased to worry about this cancer or the days ahead BUT as each incident comes along we do our best to battle the cancer. Bob is a guinea pig of sorts now and our desire is that a cure will be found not only for multiple myeloma but for all cancers. This is an insidious disease that robs victims and families of a life that we think we should have. Hope for eternal life with Jesus is a real and promised hope, the life we think we should have will be gone but heaven is for ever. Praise God.
Sunday, October 8, 2017
THANKSGIVING and ACCEPTANCE
Happy Thanksgiving. The season truly is a time to be grateful for all the things we have plus all of the people we have in our lives. We have been given such a huge privilege to have been born in Canada or to have immigrated to Canada. I was reminded this week though, through our ladies bible study, that we are all exiles here on earth. We will one day go into eternity. Jesus died for us on the cross, rose again and has gone to prepare a place for us in heaven. What a hope to live with, once we have accepted Jesus as our Savior and follow Him with our lives.
I suppose the reality is----- that with all this great news Bob does not feel well. That slows both of us down. We are so very grateful for the cancer results, don't get me wrong. I guess we thought that as the cancer was getting clobbered with the chemo drugs; Bob would get back more energy, more excitement, be stronger, last physically longer in situations. That however is not the case. The pain is now pretty much under control. Bob is pleased with the control. Amazing pain team from TB so our conclusion was yippy here we go. This week as we pondered and prayed and we came (well Bob came) to the acceptance that this cancer sucks, and now into all the treatments for more than nine years, his body was not going to recover. He has accepted that and as he continues to fight this cancer it is what it is and he will enjoy as much as he can. What the doctors are doing now is learning as much as they can about the protocols and combinations of chemo. Bob will stay on the monthly darzalex infusion along with once a week dex, with 3 weeks of pomalyst and 1 week off, plus every other day of cyclophosphomide. Pray with us that his organs will continue to hold out well. Bob has some stomach issues but so far they can be dealt with. Pray that Bob's blood work will stay in a healthy range. This week he needed to take filgrastim as the neutrophils were to low. These are needed to fight infection. Soooooo Bob will be having blood work done each week to watch the neutraphil level. We had a perscription for the filgrastim to be filled this week. The dose is already in needle form. We got 6 needles, so if the counts are down Bob will be contacted and will take a dose----in the tummy!!!!!! Cost---1600.$$$ Praise God senior's blue cross covered it.
We are so thankful for the health care Bob has received here in Calgary. Thankful for everything we have, thankful for our family and their love and care. Thankful for our church family and for the friends we have made here as well as the friends we have across Canada. Please be grateful this Thanksgiving weekend for your life and situation, more importantly be thankful every day. Be content and accepting of what each of us have been given. Hugs to all.
This passed week was our full out doctor week. The lab work we were given was complete and tells us that the protein numbers that follow the cancer are once again lower than last month. The bone marrow biopsy was super. The sample showed that the myeloma cells have diminished and there were only a few in the sample. The radiation was completed on the two active spots on the spine. This hasn't caused a lot of discomfort for Bob. Such a lot of great news. News that we were not actually expecting!!!!! So hurrah and hallelujah.
I suppose the reality is----- that with all this great news Bob does not feel well. That slows both of us down. We are so very grateful for the cancer results, don't get me wrong. I guess we thought that as the cancer was getting clobbered with the chemo drugs; Bob would get back more energy, more excitement, be stronger, last physically longer in situations. That however is not the case. The pain is now pretty much under control. Bob is pleased with the control. Amazing pain team from TB so our conclusion was yippy here we go. This week as we pondered and prayed and we came (well Bob came) to the acceptance that this cancer sucks, and now into all the treatments for more than nine years, his body was not going to recover. He has accepted that and as he continues to fight this cancer it is what it is and he will enjoy as much as he can. What the doctors are doing now is learning as much as they can about the protocols and combinations of chemo. Bob will stay on the monthly darzalex infusion along with once a week dex, with 3 weeks of pomalyst and 1 week off, plus every other day of cyclophosphomide. Pray with us that his organs will continue to hold out well. Bob has some stomach issues but so far they can be dealt with. Pray that Bob's blood work will stay in a healthy range. This week he needed to take filgrastim as the neutrophils were to low. These are needed to fight infection. Soooooo Bob will be having blood work done each week to watch the neutraphil level. We had a perscription for the filgrastim to be filled this week. The dose is already in needle form. We got 6 needles, so if the counts are down Bob will be contacted and will take a dose----in the tummy!!!!!! Cost---1600.$$$ Praise God senior's blue cross covered it.
We are so thankful for the health care Bob has received here in Calgary. Thankful for everything we have, thankful for our family and their love and care. Thankful for our church family and for the friends we have made here as well as the friends we have across Canada. Please be grateful this Thanksgiving weekend for your life and situation, more importantly be thankful every day. Be content and accepting of what each of us have been given. Hugs to all.
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
Fall 2017
It is the middle of Sept.---well, almost. September is like a January. It is like a starting over or a starting again month. Lots of new clothes and supplies for school like clean scribblers and new binders. Purchasing new warmer clothes for the winter months, that will be here all to soon. Our daughter got into some canning and jam making this year. So very neat to see that happening. Putting things "up for winter". I spent years doing that. Having a large garden allowed us to feed ourselves for pretty much all year with vegetables and fruit. Time changes everything and this year our September beginning looks different.
Well we came into Sept. optimistic that the cancer would remain static and the pain would be defeated. However, we are beginning again to fight this horrible disease, beginning again to find answers to Bob's pain.
The cancer markers hadn't all made it back from the lab due to the long weekend so an important piece of the puzzle was missing. The cancer protein marker wasn't back. Bob's blood counts were all adequate. It was the PET scan that determined we needed to start fighting again. This is what is called the IMPRESSION at the end of the results of the PET scan. Written by the doctor of Diagnostic Radiology and Nuclear Medicine:
Well we came into Sept. optimistic that the cancer would remain static and the pain would be defeated. However, we are beginning again to fight this horrible disease, beginning again to find answers to Bob's pain.
The cancer markers hadn't all made it back from the lab due to the long weekend so an important piece of the puzzle was missing. The cancer protein marker wasn't back. Bob's blood counts were all adequate. It was the PET scan that determined we needed to start fighting again. This is what is called the IMPRESSION at the end of the results of the PET scan. Written by the doctor of Diagnostic Radiology and Nuclear Medicine:
Adverse change compared to previous. Metabolic activity at several sites of disease compatible with disease progression has increased as discussed above..There is also a new, low-grade, metabolically active focus at T1. At C3 and L1 there are new anatomic changes of progression as well.
The last PET scan was on April 24,2017.
Sooooooo for this month Bob has begun to orally take another chemo drug. Pomalyst has been added. It is kind of up in the air (I believe) as to whether he will continue with the darzalex infusion. He has had that for 18 months. We get a call each month from the drug company that produces and provides this drug. It is a small thing, but the gal we spoke with didn't mention next months infusion. She has always given us the date for the next time.
We started over again with the Pain Clinic. We did that once before but things got all blurry when our oncologist or our GP helped out with pain and then meds got changed and added to and Bob was a mess again. This time we are more organized. Bob and I are doing it together and anything to do with pain goes only to our pain team. To seal that deal we get a call from them every other day---at least for now. :-} PLUS we will meet with a home care team who are part of the pain clinic. These folks are not the cleaning, cooking, bathing home care team. This team is on call 24/7 and deals with pain and the meds for it. Things usually fall apart on the weekend or the middle of the night. They will help us get to the right place for Bob or help us adjust what Bob is taking. Hopefully we won't have to deal at an emerg dept that suggests we should only go to Foothills Hospital because they don't have an oncology dept. and are asking "do you regularly take all these meds?" The home care team will access what we should do. However an ambulance will only take you to the nearest hospital. Anyway we are getting things sorted out-------I hope.
Bob also had a bone marrow aspiration. This will help the oncologist to see more clearly what is truly happening in the bone marrow. Results will be at our next appointment at the beginning of Oct.
We take all of this in our stride. Bob has the best care possible for multiple myeloma. Often we both get a little muddled in our thinking and what to do. We do have God our Father walking along with us and we endeavor to hold tight to His Hands.
A comforting verse taken from Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? "Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go".
Interesting fact: Last Sunday I started to teach this verse---well the beginning of it to the 2 year old Sunday School class!!!!!!!
Bob also had a bone marrow aspiration. This will help the oncologist to see more clearly what is truly happening in the bone marrow. Results will be at our next appointment at the beginning of Oct.
We take all of this in our stride. Bob has the best care possible for multiple myeloma. Often we both get a little muddled in our thinking and what to do. We do have God our Father walking along with us and we endeavor to hold tight to His Hands.
A comforting verse taken from Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? "Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go".
Interesting fact: Last Sunday I started to teach this verse---well the beginning of it to the 2 year old Sunday School class!!!!!!!
It is indeed a verse for all seasons of life.
Thursday, August 3, 2017
AUGUST LONG 2017
The summer is spinning by at a seemingly crazy speed. After this weekend it always seems to me that it is full out toward back to school. Getting back to sweaters, long pants and buying the least expensive loose leaf available!!!
The number of times that Bob and I have gone to the Tom Baker Cancer Centre also seems to accumulate ever so quickly. We are now into the ninth year of fighting this cancer. We were at TBC yesterday. One of our friends hoped that our meeting with the oncologist would be mundane. Well it was ordinary, at least as ordinary as the last couple of visits were. Gotta love ordinary. Bob's cancer markers were steady to two months ago. Dr. B. was thinking the spike in last months numbers was either a lab mistake or an anomaly as the numbers are right back down. Bob's blood work is low but acceptable according to the doc. Bob had another round of darzalex yesterday and so nothing has changed, at this point, for his chemo regime. That fact also makes us happy.
Sadly, the pain Bob has, has increased to the point he can hardly stand it at times. Before the end of Aug. he will have another PET scan. This should show what is going on in his hip and pelvis bones to cause such pain. Everyone seems to agree that bone pain is the worst. We are seeing the reality of that. Bob explained the cancer to someone in this way "the cancer eats holes in his bones and then the bones weaken and can crack." He had a fall awhile back and that could be what has happened. To relieve the pain he is trying some alternative pain stuff but today is back on the morphine only. Fortunately for me, well for both of us, Bob remains optimistic and mild mannered.
We made a trip to Manitoba. That time in MB seemed to spin by so quickly. We had a memorial and the interment of Bob's dad's ashes. He has been interred in the same grave as mom. Gerry had ordered a smaller marker to sit in front of mom's. One day was the immediate family only. That turned out very special. We were joined by extended family and friends on the second day. We had a meeting at the grave site followed by lunch at our niece's home. So very good to see all those folks again and reminisce about both dad and mom. Crystal is almost the spitting image of mom when mom was younger. Once the pictures were out the similarity of mom and Crystal was amazing.
We then were in Winnipeg to celebrate my mom's 89th birthday. That was a fun day. My brother is a social convener extraordinaire. Lots of games that all ages from 4-89 took part in. Mom was even in the 3 legged race-----not to shabby for 89. My sweet sister and brother in law babied us for a few days (oh so nice), and we spent time with mom. We had supper with some special friends from the north.
We were able to visit with several other friends both in Brandon and Winnipeg too, so "it was all good".
Oh Oh we also went to the colony where my friend Deanne lives. We were treated royally by her family and enjoyed fellowship with them and a tour of their colony and life style.
The wheels on the Terrain were just spinning like crazy on the way home as I took over the driving!!!
Hebrews 13:5b "God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." We cling to the Father as these days roll along.
The number of times that Bob and I have gone to the Tom Baker Cancer Centre also seems to accumulate ever so quickly. We are now into the ninth year of fighting this cancer. We were at TBC yesterday. One of our friends hoped that our meeting with the oncologist would be mundane. Well it was ordinary, at least as ordinary as the last couple of visits were. Gotta love ordinary. Bob's cancer markers were steady to two months ago. Dr. B. was thinking the spike in last months numbers was either a lab mistake or an anomaly as the numbers are right back down. Bob's blood work is low but acceptable according to the doc. Bob had another round of darzalex yesterday and so nothing has changed, at this point, for his chemo regime. That fact also makes us happy.
Sadly, the pain Bob has, has increased to the point he can hardly stand it at times. Before the end of Aug. he will have another PET scan. This should show what is going on in his hip and pelvis bones to cause such pain. Everyone seems to agree that bone pain is the worst. We are seeing the reality of that. Bob explained the cancer to someone in this way "the cancer eats holes in his bones and then the bones weaken and can crack." He had a fall awhile back and that could be what has happened. To relieve the pain he is trying some alternative pain stuff but today is back on the morphine only. Fortunately for me, well for both of us, Bob remains optimistic and mild mannered.
We made a trip to Manitoba. That time in MB seemed to spin by so quickly. We had a memorial and the interment of Bob's dad's ashes. He has been interred in the same grave as mom. Gerry had ordered a smaller marker to sit in front of mom's. One day was the immediate family only. That turned out very special. We were joined by extended family and friends on the second day. We had a meeting at the grave site followed by lunch at our niece's home. So very good to see all those folks again and reminisce about both dad and mom. Crystal is almost the spitting image of mom when mom was younger. Once the pictures were out the similarity of mom and Crystal was amazing.
We then were in Winnipeg to celebrate my mom's 89th birthday. That was a fun day. My brother is a social convener extraordinaire. Lots of games that all ages from 4-89 took part in. Mom was even in the 3 legged race-----not to shabby for 89. My sweet sister and brother in law babied us for a few days (oh so nice), and we spent time with mom. We had supper with some special friends from the north.
We were able to visit with several other friends both in Brandon and Winnipeg too, so "it was all good".
Oh Oh we also went to the colony where my friend Deanne lives. We were treated royally by her family and enjoyed fellowship with them and a tour of their colony and life style.
The wheels on the Terrain were just spinning like crazy on the way home as I took over the driving!!!
Hebrews 13:5b "God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." We cling to the Father as these days roll along.
Thursday, June 1, 2017
STABLE
In the dictionary stable means not fluctuating. Stability is the strength to endure or stand.
Each of us want to live in a stable environment. We want our relationships, our finances, our jobs all to be stable. Most of us want to know what is ahead from day to day. As we grow older we realize that a stable world is not always the case. Our world and the forces in it are in constant change almost every day. Jobs and the security they provide can be tenuous. Our families change and make choices that perhaps are foreign to what we know and believe. Partners and friends change. They can become someone different from the person we learned to know months or years earlier. Our stable life can be turned upside down leaving us in a muddle not knowing what to do or how to react. Bob and I are thrilled to know Jesus. he is stabile, no matter what is happening in our lives. Hebrews 13:5b says" because God said "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you".
Bob has waited many months and with baited breathe that the cancer he has would not be constantly marching ahead. We were at the cancer clinic yesterday and the protein numbers, and the blood work have all remained stable. HURRAH, therefore no change to the chemo protocol. Bob is doing well physically on this protocol. Under the supervision of a diabetic nurse the diabetes is also stable.
This was not what we expected and so we are very thankful. Since last month Bob spent 4 days in hospital. The docs believed it was an infection and because of his compromised immune system he was give a large, strong regiment of antibiotics. The docs settled on pneumonia as the infection, in the end, however several other conditions cleared up as well. However the chemo regime was altered and then cancelled for a week. Thankyou to those who are continually praying for us. These easier months would not happen without the prayers of friends and family and God's mercy.
I have to say that Bob has great stability because of our God who never changes. Bob has endured so very much over these past nine years that I firmly believe that his strength as a person can only be God given. Celebrate with us this month and pray that our next results will also be stable.
Each of us want to live in a stable environment. We want our relationships, our finances, our jobs all to be stable. Most of us want to know what is ahead from day to day. As we grow older we realize that a stable world is not always the case. Our world and the forces in it are in constant change almost every day. Jobs and the security they provide can be tenuous. Our families change and make choices that perhaps are foreign to what we know and believe. Partners and friends change. They can become someone different from the person we learned to know months or years earlier. Our stable life can be turned upside down leaving us in a muddle not knowing what to do or how to react. Bob and I are thrilled to know Jesus. he is stabile, no matter what is happening in our lives. Hebrews 13:5b says" because God said "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you".
Bob has waited many months and with baited breathe that the cancer he has would not be constantly marching ahead. We were at the cancer clinic yesterday and the protein numbers, and the blood work have all remained stable. HURRAH, therefore no change to the chemo protocol. Bob is doing well physically on this protocol. Under the supervision of a diabetic nurse the diabetes is also stable.
This was not what we expected and so we are very thankful. Since last month Bob spent 4 days in hospital. The docs believed it was an infection and because of his compromised immune system he was give a large, strong regiment of antibiotics. The docs settled on pneumonia as the infection, in the end, however several other conditions cleared up as well. However the chemo regime was altered and then cancelled for a week. Thankyou to those who are continually praying for us. These easier months would not happen without the prayers of friends and family and God's mercy.
I have to say that Bob has great stability because of our God who never changes. Bob has endured so very much over these past nine years that I firmly believe that his strength as a person can only be God given. Celebrate with us this month and pray that our next results will also be stable.
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
POWER
Today is a super day in a number of ways. Today is the first day, this year, the temperature has gone above 20C. The power of the sun changes everything especially how I feel. Drab, gray days make me, well, drab and gray. The leaves will very quickly burst forth now....summer is around the corner.
Today was also our monthly trip to the Tom Baker Cancer Centre. We received a call yesterday that Bob's appointment could now be moved forward in time. There goes supper out!!!! but an earlier time is always good. The new time was for 12:30. The area around TB is under construction and what has gone missing is the parking lot. This is always a challenge---finding a spot that isn't at COP. Today we drove into the closest lot to TB and like we couldn't believe our eyes there was a spot right near the entrance AND no one else was vying for the spot. We were now early, but were prepared with our reading material and water. We had hardly gotten settled when "Robert Hildebrand" was called. And as only I (Shirley) could say "REALLY'!!!!! complete with a smirk, we were in. Once in the examining room we didn't wait either, tickety boom, the nurse does her thing and Dr. Bahlis is in. Land sakes took my breath away. All done by 12:43. That is some powerful performance.
I wish I knew how to copy the PET scan results and the graphs on here to share but I don't and don't have the patience to figure it out. Soooo you will have to take my word for the results. They are positive.
"The current PET scan examination shows improvement."..."No new hypermetabolic lytic bone lesions have developed elsewhere in the skeleton."...."No hypermetabolic masses or lymphadenopathy are seen anywhere within the body"...."other previously involved skeletal sites remain stable in appearance and inactive."... "There is no evidence of active extra medullary myeloma."
Bob's blood work was good. However the markers for cancer have gone up. The kappa free is 42.5 and the Lambda free at 1.6 making the ratio 26.56 up from 4.8 which is concerning to the doc. In a month if it gets to be 80 or more the chemo will be readjusted and he may be back with chemo drugs that have some of the yukky side affects. However because of the PET results Dr. Bahlis will leave everything as is as far as chemo goes.
The growth on Bob's head was benign.
God is good and the power of prayer is keeping the cancer more or less static. The power of prayer is also keeping Bob active and functioning and living life as well as possible
The pain Bob is having is not because of the cancer. Dr. Bahlis believes that it is the deterioration of the bones. Bob has holes in the pelvis and many weakened bone areas where there were active lesions. This is in the spine, ribs---thorax area. My big prayer now is that he won't fall. The pain meds Bob takes work well but when he needs to take the short acting one to cover more pain, it makes Bob jerky and he is often sleepy and may sleep away most of a day. That is usually after an extra busy day. Our family doctor told us that all of this has aged Bob's body at least 10 years. That puts him at 78.
We are thankful for these results. My small ladies bible study prayed for a miracle and I believe that this is the miracle for now, for this month. Prayer is a powerful tool to strengthen my unbelief.
Today was also our monthly trip to the Tom Baker Cancer Centre. We received a call yesterday that Bob's appointment could now be moved forward in time. There goes supper out!!!! but an earlier time is always good. The new time was for 12:30. The area around TB is under construction and what has gone missing is the parking lot. This is always a challenge---finding a spot that isn't at COP. Today we drove into the closest lot to TB and like we couldn't believe our eyes there was a spot right near the entrance AND no one else was vying for the spot. We were now early, but were prepared with our reading material and water. We had hardly gotten settled when "Robert Hildebrand" was called. And as only I (Shirley) could say "REALLY'!!!!! complete with a smirk, we were in. Once in the examining room we didn't wait either, tickety boom, the nurse does her thing and Dr. Bahlis is in. Land sakes took my breath away. All done by 12:43. That is some powerful performance.
I wish I knew how to copy the PET scan results and the graphs on here to share but I don't and don't have the patience to figure it out. Soooo you will have to take my word for the results. They are positive.
"The current PET scan examination shows improvement."..."No new hypermetabolic lytic bone lesions have developed elsewhere in the skeleton."...."No hypermetabolic masses or lymphadenopathy are seen anywhere within the body"...."other previously involved skeletal sites remain stable in appearance and inactive."... "There is no evidence of active extra medullary myeloma."
Bob's blood work was good. However the markers for cancer have gone up. The kappa free is 42.5 and the Lambda free at 1.6 making the ratio 26.56 up from 4.8 which is concerning to the doc. In a month if it gets to be 80 or more the chemo will be readjusted and he may be back with chemo drugs that have some of the yukky side affects. However because of the PET results Dr. Bahlis will leave everything as is as far as chemo goes.
The growth on Bob's head was benign.
God is good and the power of prayer is keeping the cancer more or less static. The power of prayer is also keeping Bob active and functioning and living life as well as possible
The pain Bob is having is not because of the cancer. Dr. Bahlis believes that it is the deterioration of the bones. Bob has holes in the pelvis and many weakened bone areas where there were active lesions. This is in the spine, ribs---thorax area. My big prayer now is that he won't fall. The pain meds Bob takes work well but when he needs to take the short acting one to cover more pain, it makes Bob jerky and he is often sleepy and may sleep away most of a day. That is usually after an extra busy day. Our family doctor told us that all of this has aged Bob's body at least 10 years. That puts him at 78.
We are thankful for these results. My small ladies bible study prayed for a miracle and I believe that this is the miracle for now, for this month. Prayer is a powerful tool to strengthen my unbelief.
Psalm 77:14 You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.
Saturday, April 1, 2017
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY
This journey that Bob is on and which I ride along with and support and care about is long and hard. We have seen the good, the bad and the down right ugly days.
Right now and for the past seven to eight weeks we have seen good days. These days seem to be calmer, not as much tension in the soul. Bob has been feeling pretty good, actually. Bob is driving, going for walks, reading and a biggy shopping!!! Yes Bob loves to shop??? for.........hmmm-- electronics, gadgets, "men toys". Bringing some of those purchases home, then of course, require rearranging of furniture, new drapes, changing shelves.----you know!!! "women's toys" hehehe,tehe twitter.
Anyway we have done a lot together these last weeks. We have just had fun. Bob is learning that yes he does like to cook and help in the kitchen. His challenge now is diabetes. We never stop learning!!! However no evening stops at Dairy Queen.
My goal in documenting this is there are short seasons of enjoyment among the ongoing cancer. We are learning to claim these days, enjoy them and thank God for the answer to a prayer no matter how small it seems.
We have made some plans to head to MB on Thurs. April 6 after Bob's chemo infusion. This has been a huge step for me as I have allowed fear to creep into my heart. We are both excited to go, to leave our "normal" even for a few days. I do not allow myself to plan to far ahead as we never know when the good days will turn into bad days.
This past week Bob has his same old friend, pain, back. Back in the same old spot, back with the same old intensity. We believe the pain radiates from the same spot that was radiated in Jan. Bob has connected with our nurse practitioner and she has increased his pain meds. From the radiation pictures she was looking at, the nurse thinks it may be a different spot. She is checking with the oncologist radiologist. On Mon. we should get a call from her as well as a visit when we are at the hospital on Wed.
Next Wed April 5, we see the oncologist. Pray with us that the protein marker for cancer has not spiked. Pray for wisdom about what chemo to take. Pray that we will not have ugly days anytime soon. Pray that we will make this trip to MB. Pray that our faith in the Living God does not waver and that we will continue to trust Jesus to be ever present on this journey.
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
'HURRY HARD'------------> BIRTHDAY
We have spent a fair bit of time watching curling over the past several weeks. We are now into the Ladies' Worlds in Bejing China. Well,,, we are almost getting ready for bed as we watch team Canada curl their morning games. Harder to keep track of the event because of the time change from here to China.
Somewhat sadly we did not hurry to Ontario for dad's funeral. This was a tough decision for Bob to make. He is feeling so much better but mostly mentally and emotionally. The physical is still challenging most days. As we considered what the trip entailed, we thought that getting there and needing to be in bed for a couple of days would be to hard on everyone. Bob is blessed to know that many, many people attended the memorial to honour his dad. We saw dad in Oct. just as Bob was beginning to take the pomolyst. That had been a great visit. Dad had been reasonably well and we were able to help Reta prepare their home for dad and meet with many health care people who were beginning the journey with dad. Reta is doing well. She has had a friend with her most of the last three weeks.
God blessed us with hmmmm--- a mini wake the Thurs. before Dad's memorial. Bob has cousins in the city whom we do not see---only rarely!!!!! Ernie Hildebrand"s dad John (Anne) passed away just before Christmas. Marlene Hildebrand"s dad Dick (Mary) passed away a couple of weeks before dad. Mary was dad's sister. Dick and Mary lived in the Austin area of MB. Mary had passed away, I believe, a couple of years ago. Ernie's folks lived in Beamsville ON. Anne is still living in Beamsville. A number of folks who follow this blog know these folks and connections hence the bit of genealogy. For those who do not know the genealogy yes Dick and Mary did have the same name. Mary always was a Hildebrand . =)
Marlene and Ernie came to have dinner with us. We had a super time with them. Hopefully we will try and connect more frequently. The three cousins talked about their parents and what they remembered about their aunts and uncles. Bob and I learned a lot about the family that we did not know and had never heard before. Part of this because Ernie and Marlene were both born in Paraquay and either remember and or have heard the stories from their parents over the years. Most of the family resettled in Ontario. Bob's dad was the only one of the family who had not moved to Paraquay. Slowly the family all came back to Canada other than two brothers who eventually made their fortunes in South America. This evening of visiting was a very special time for us.
Bob has had a good couple of months. He doesn't need to nap as much. We go out walking again. We walked to church last week. That would be about 5 to 6 city blocks. Sheesh that hardly seems far now. Bob has received a few calls from his former work site plus he was out for one afternoon which he enjoyed. We went out to a concert. Bob was glad when it was over!!!! The two hours of sitting got long towards the end. He goes for coffee with a few different guys. He doesn't call Tim Horton's his office yet but does occasionally go to our friends office at Timmie's. We are enjoying this time together. It is like a real normal soooo that means getting use to retirement. We haven't had doctor appointments or tests these past weeks so it truly is an adjustment. Pray with us that the protein numbers have not shot up. Should the case be that the numbers stayed low and show no spike Bob may continue on with only the two chemo drugs. The infusion once a month and the dex once a week, that make life a sweet redemption.
Bob is now hurrying to his next birthday. On Thurs he will be 68. We praise God for each one of those years. There was a time at the beginning of this journey I believed he would not celebrate his 60th birthday. These birthdays do come along faster and faster each year.
Somewhat sadly we did not hurry to Ontario for dad's funeral. This was a tough decision for Bob to make. He is feeling so much better but mostly mentally and emotionally. The physical is still challenging most days. As we considered what the trip entailed, we thought that getting there and needing to be in bed for a couple of days would be to hard on everyone. Bob is blessed to know that many, many people attended the memorial to honour his dad. We saw dad in Oct. just as Bob was beginning to take the pomolyst. That had been a great visit. Dad had been reasonably well and we were able to help Reta prepare their home for dad and meet with many health care people who were beginning the journey with dad. Reta is doing well. She has had a friend with her most of the last three weeks.
God blessed us with hmmmm--- a mini wake the Thurs. before Dad's memorial. Bob has cousins in the city whom we do not see---only rarely!!!!! Ernie Hildebrand"s dad John (Anne) passed away just before Christmas. Marlene Hildebrand"s dad Dick (Mary) passed away a couple of weeks before dad. Mary was dad's sister. Dick and Mary lived in the Austin area of MB. Mary had passed away, I believe, a couple of years ago. Ernie's folks lived in Beamsville ON. Anne is still living in Beamsville. A number of folks who follow this blog know these folks and connections hence the bit of genealogy. For those who do not know the genealogy yes Dick and Mary did have the same name. Mary always was a Hildebrand . =)
Marlene and Ernie came to have dinner with us. We had a super time with them. Hopefully we will try and connect more frequently. The three cousins talked about their parents and what they remembered about their aunts and uncles. Bob and I learned a lot about the family that we did not know and had never heard before. Part of this because Ernie and Marlene were both born in Paraquay and either remember and or have heard the stories from their parents over the years. Most of the family resettled in Ontario. Bob's dad was the only one of the family who had not moved to Paraquay. Slowly the family all came back to Canada other than two brothers who eventually made their fortunes in South America. This evening of visiting was a very special time for us.
Bob has had a good couple of months. He doesn't need to nap as much. We go out walking again. We walked to church last week. That would be about 5 to 6 city blocks. Sheesh that hardly seems far now. Bob has received a few calls from his former work site plus he was out for one afternoon which he enjoyed. We went out to a concert. Bob was glad when it was over!!!! The two hours of sitting got long towards the end. He goes for coffee with a few different guys. He doesn't call Tim Horton's his office yet but does occasionally go to our friends office at Timmie's. We are enjoying this time together. It is like a real normal soooo that means getting use to retirement. We haven't had doctor appointments or tests these past weeks so it truly is an adjustment. Pray with us that the protein numbers have not shot up. Should the case be that the numbers stayed low and show no spike Bob may continue on with only the two chemo drugs. The infusion once a month and the dex once a week, that make life a sweet redemption.
Bob is now hurrying to his next birthday. On Thurs he will be 68. We praise God for each one of those years. There was a time at the beginning of this journey I believed he would not celebrate his 60th birthday. These birthdays do come along faster and faster each year.
Some great things about getting older:
*closed-captioning makes the evening news seem like an exotic foreign movie.
*you will probably be among the first hostages to be released.
* Handicapped parking spaces.
*You always get the comfiest chair in the room
LATER!!!!!
Sunday, February 26, 2017
HOPE///// BACKING UP
Hope is a confident trust with the expectation of fulfillment.
Bob's dad, Peter, had a hope that he would spend eternity in heaven with Jesus. He believed he would once again see all believers (mom) who have trusted Jesus as their Saviour and have already passed. Today dad is seeing the fulfillment of that expectation. Dad passed away today, February 26, 2017.Dad had just turned 94 years old. His life was filled with so many experiences, joys and losses. Dad was giving of all his resources, his time, talents and finances to his family when we had need. He was patient and loving to us and his grandkids. The three grandkids were his pride and joy. He loved each of them with an unconditional love. Dad worked hard his entire life and never gave up. He was the eternal optimist. The Fishbooks called him"no problem Pete".
We loved him and will miss him greatly. We talked with dad at least once a week. "Well hello Shirley Hildebrand, you are looking good today. How are things out west? How is my Bob?" spoken in that loud cheerful voice. Makes me cry as I type those words. Together dad and Reta were our (Bob"s) leading prayer warriors. That will leave a huge hole for sure.
Hugs to Reta who together with dad celebrated 25 years of marriage.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.
from an Irish headstone
Since the last post; we have received renewed hope for Bob's health. Dad would be pleased. The protein numbers are at the lowest they have been in nine years. Bittersweet since Bob stopped taking the chemo on the 12th. The oncologist was so thrilled that he did not really deal with Bob's decision. However we did do a backup and Bob is taking the chemo again. Like the doc says"don't screw up what you have accomplished". Did he really say screw? Perhaps not. At this point Bob is not taking one of the chemo drugs-----the pomolyst. It transfers to the brain and could have caused the huge side affects that Bob had. We do not see the oncologist until April but Bob will be doing lab work every week. He has the darzalex infusion on the 9th of March. Pray that the protein numbers will stay low without the pomolyst.
Due to the fact that Bob is feeling so much better he has decided that we will be going to Niagara Falls for dad's memorial. At this point though nothing has been decided. Pray for Bob's brother as he is the executor for their dad and is in contact with Reta as to plans etc.
May the memory of dad (Pete) bring us peace as we prepare to meet him where Jesus makes us whole.
Sunday, February 19, 2017
DUTY AND HONOUR
Bob is now officially retired.
This past Thurs. (Feb. 16) a luncheon was held in Bob's honour at the ranch near the estate where Bob worked. The staff set the room up so very nicely and it really was pretty. The meal, along with appetizers was catered and served by Hyatt staff. We thought it might be sandwiches and dessert but this luncheon was first class all the way. I was especially pleased and blessed at how Bob was honoured. Kind words from Kelly, the estate manager, from the President of Exploron as well as the Shareholder. The emcee Darrell did an awesome job. Bob has left an imprint with his coworkers. Several folks from "the city" also came out. These are people Bob had contact with in the course of his job. It was special in the fact that I was included in some of the "roasts" and kindnesses. We were acknowledged as a team and that was special.
For me personally the best part was the speech that Bob gave. He did so well, even leaving his notes and adding in situations off the cuff. To me it showed his mind was clear and he was thinking on his feet. He was articulate and his hands were not shaking. Through his words I believe Bob honoured God. He also honoured the staff and Shareholder.
The company has also put Bob on a monthly retainer. This allows them to call him and discuss various situations. Bob will also connect regularly with the young man, who he trained to take his place.
This is exciting for Bob and with a clear head he will be able to manage. Once again God has gone ahead and blessed us.
All of that was written to set the tone for a decision Bob made. Last Sunday was the last time he took the oral chemo.
The chemo had started on the previous Thurs. and by Sunday Bob could not go out to church or go anywhere. We tried short walks and then he would sleep again. He seemed to sleep a lot--around the clock. Bob's head was fuzzy and he had tremors sometimes light ones and some times all out shaking. Thinking of the week ahead Bob realized that he would not make this luncheon or would be a pitiful disaster at it. Bob has the pain under control and we knew it wasn't the pain meds doing this to him. So he stopped chemo. Not sure how this will play out in the weeks ahead. Bob also wants to gain 25 pounds before he starts chemo again. That would take him all the way up to 155 pounds.
We checked with Dr. Google about this constant weight loss. From what we have read we think he may have cachexia. He is weighed at each doctor visit and we hear "Robert, you have lost more weight" but never had any cautions or teaching.---- Oh yes we did, he was to eat more high fat stuff.
We phoned our oncology nurse and have an appointment to see the oncologist on Tues. This will be interesting.
In the mean time Bob is living an almost "normal" life.
Bob's dad is not doing well. He is back in the hospital with sepsis plus at least 2 other organ infections. My prayer is for mercy for dad and for him to go and be present with Jesus.
Constant change is the course of life.
This past Thurs. (Feb. 16) a luncheon was held in Bob's honour at the ranch near the estate where Bob worked. The staff set the room up so very nicely and it really was pretty. The meal, along with appetizers was catered and served by Hyatt staff. We thought it might be sandwiches and dessert but this luncheon was first class all the way. I was especially pleased and blessed at how Bob was honoured. Kind words from Kelly, the estate manager, from the President of Exploron as well as the Shareholder. The emcee Darrell did an awesome job. Bob has left an imprint with his coworkers. Several folks from "the city" also came out. These are people Bob had contact with in the course of his job. It was special in the fact that I was included in some of the "roasts" and kindnesses. We were acknowledged as a team and that was special.
For me personally the best part was the speech that Bob gave. He did so well, even leaving his notes and adding in situations off the cuff. To me it showed his mind was clear and he was thinking on his feet. He was articulate and his hands were not shaking. Through his words I believe Bob honoured God. He also honoured the staff and Shareholder.
The company has also put Bob on a monthly retainer. This allows them to call him and discuss various situations. Bob will also connect regularly with the young man, who he trained to take his place.
This is exciting for Bob and with a clear head he will be able to manage. Once again God has gone ahead and blessed us.
All of that was written to set the tone for a decision Bob made. Last Sunday was the last time he took the oral chemo.
The chemo had started on the previous Thurs. and by Sunday Bob could not go out to church or go anywhere. We tried short walks and then he would sleep again. He seemed to sleep a lot--around the clock. Bob's head was fuzzy and he had tremors sometimes light ones and some times all out shaking. Thinking of the week ahead Bob realized that he would not make this luncheon or would be a pitiful disaster at it. Bob has the pain under control and we knew it wasn't the pain meds doing this to him. So he stopped chemo. Not sure how this will play out in the weeks ahead. Bob also wants to gain 25 pounds before he starts chemo again. That would take him all the way up to 155 pounds.
We checked with Dr. Google about this constant weight loss. From what we have read we think he may have cachexia. He is weighed at each doctor visit and we hear "Robert, you have lost more weight" but never had any cautions or teaching.---- Oh yes we did, he was to eat more high fat stuff.
We phoned our oncology nurse and have an appointment to see the oncologist on Tues. This will be interesting.
In the mean time Bob is living an almost "normal" life.
Bob's dad is not doing well. He is back in the hospital with sepsis plus at least 2 other organ infections. My prayer is for mercy for dad and for him to go and be present with Jesus.
Constant change is the course of life.
Saturday, January 7, 2017
NEW YEAR MULLIGAN
I wanted to give the definition, that I was planning on using, for mulligan, however when I went to our dictionary (as in a paper, book dictionary) I received a surprise. "Mul.li.gan: a stew of vegetables, meat or fish and other foodstuffs." This was the only meaning given. Hmmmmm, this is Bob's dictionary that he had when he was in school taking structural technology. Is it really that long ago? Our world sure has changed. DUH!!!!!!! This meaning is from the Webster's Seventh New Collegiate Dictionary copyrighted in 1965. I think yep a lot of words floating along under the bridge since then.
For me, mulligan means (thanks to google) not only stew but also a "do over", "a second chance". I am taking the word out of the realm of golf and putting it into a positive for BOB'S JOURNEY.
The last two months of 2016 were difficult for Bob and me. He really was not feeling well and his health, both physical and mental was struggling. We carried on the best we knew how with the meds, doc visits and praying. I truly was beginning to think that my Bob may be going home to Jesus sooner than we thought. The oncologist following all the blood work said things were doing well as he looked at the results. This past visit we had a list of what was happening with Bob and made it clear that we now wanted quality of life not quantity. HOWEVER. no matter what we think is happening, our God is always in control. Our Dr. wasn't surprised but by looking at the science of the blood, what was happening to Bob should not be happening. We got a God given mulligan.
We now have a new team working with us and alongside the oncologist. Our main contacts are a pharmacist, he is totally amazing----really!!!. and a nurse practitioner, she is soooo smart---really!!! We spent two long and one shorter day at Tom Baker this week. This team found us and met with us wherever we were. They report to two palliative care doctors. I don't know what happened to that other group we met at the pain clinic. Bob may have stumped them. PTL that we have who we have.
They have determined that Bob has been over medicated for pain. He takes several different drugs for different pain such as neuropathy, bone pain, etc. They have tweaked these meds as some of the chemo also covers pain, they are using all these drugs and trying to get them to work together not just all dumped on Bob. They also determined Bob has a more than average sensitivity to opiates. We have a plan--printed out---to follow for the weekend. once we see how that goes it may or may not be changed. The pharmacist will call on Mon. When we were at the hospital on Fri our new buddies could already see a change in Bob. Bob's treatment will be fluid as the plan is for him to have some radiation on a spot that is"hot" and is where there is pain. Of course with radiation will come another whole set of side affects. HOWEVER the radiation should also help with the pain. Bob will then need less drugs.
To me, the care is now in two parallel, co- joined boxes: one for chemo and cancer and one for pain management. I am pleased.
The Lord knows the length of our days. God knows all that goes on with us. Bob and I believe that His Hands are on us and Bob is not going to his eternal home today.
This prayer says it all for us, as we have trusted Jesus with our eternal soul:
For me, mulligan means (thanks to google) not only stew but also a "do over", "a second chance". I am taking the word out of the realm of golf and putting it into a positive for BOB'S JOURNEY.
The last two months of 2016 were difficult for Bob and me. He really was not feeling well and his health, both physical and mental was struggling. We carried on the best we knew how with the meds, doc visits and praying. I truly was beginning to think that my Bob may be going home to Jesus sooner than we thought. The oncologist following all the blood work said things were doing well as he looked at the results. This past visit we had a list of what was happening with Bob and made it clear that we now wanted quality of life not quantity. HOWEVER. no matter what we think is happening, our God is always in control. Our Dr. wasn't surprised but by looking at the science of the blood, what was happening to Bob should not be happening. We got a God given mulligan.
We now have a new team working with us and alongside the oncologist. Our main contacts are a pharmacist, he is totally amazing----really!!!. and a nurse practitioner, she is soooo smart---really!!! We spent two long and one shorter day at Tom Baker this week. This team found us and met with us wherever we were. They report to two palliative care doctors. I don't know what happened to that other group we met at the pain clinic. Bob may have stumped them. PTL that we have who we have.
They have determined that Bob has been over medicated for pain. He takes several different drugs for different pain such as neuropathy, bone pain, etc. They have tweaked these meds as some of the chemo also covers pain, they are using all these drugs and trying to get them to work together not just all dumped on Bob. They also determined Bob has a more than average sensitivity to opiates. We have a plan--printed out---to follow for the weekend. once we see how that goes it may or may not be changed. The pharmacist will call on Mon. When we were at the hospital on Fri our new buddies could already see a change in Bob. Bob's treatment will be fluid as the plan is for him to have some radiation on a spot that is"hot" and is where there is pain. Of course with radiation will come another whole set of side affects. HOWEVER the radiation should also help with the pain. Bob will then need less drugs.
To me, the care is now in two parallel, co- joined boxes: one for chemo and cancer and one for pain management. I am pleased.
The Lord knows the length of our days. God knows all that goes on with us. Bob and I believe that His Hands are on us and Bob is not going to his eternal home today.
This prayer says it all for us, as we have trusted Jesus with our eternal soul:
Lord, when physical limitations begin to press in, I don't want to be defined by any loss of health I'm experiencing, whether it's a temporary impairment or something more permanent. I realize this body wont last forever--that it indeed is wearing out. And while I hope to be as whole as possible for as long as possible, you gave me this body, and so I will be grateful for every day of life you give me in it. When there is pain, give me the grace to endure it. When there is frustration, carry me in your patience. When there is sorrow, comfort me with reminders of my future with you. And with every physical loss, let there be a spiritual gain that outweighs it and makes it seem small in comparison.
taken from the book A Woman's Prayers from the Heart
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