Life Changes
Bob and I decided to go on a wee adventure this past Sat. We put on a Christmas CD by Lady Antebellum --- on this winter's night. We settled into the "gentle" drive ( as opposed to the hard drive on the Deerfoot) on the new Stoney Trail. This new bypass is truly great and will even be greater when totally finished on the west side of the city++++that is a whole other story involving First Nations, etc.++++ sooooo oh yeah, we are travelling along enjoying the drive and the music and are really into the whole Christmas experience. We are off to Cross Iron Mills-a very large outlet mall near Airdrie. Upon our arrival we thought "oh my, even Jingle Bells may not save us--huge line of traffic to get into the place, but we went ahead, found a parking spot, I am thinking only ticked off one person and they did seem much younger and therefore more able to continue on searching for a spot to park. For as many people as there were in that mall, it was ok, didn't seem tightly crowded and so in high spirits off we set. We had a super time. We bought a number of things--lots of staff to help, the check out lines in the stores were very manageable and we had fun together. Totally out of character for this couple, to be shopping on a Sat.and especially two weeks before Christmas, and totally enjoying it!!!!!!!!!!! Must have been the music on the drive or..............
We are changing--must be slow learners. This whole cancer scene is teaching us so very much. Patience with situations and with each other. Our normal, now, is what it is. We live a slow paced lifestyle. Even learning that Christmas gifts are not the be all and end all of the season. Giving a gift is because we want to, because we love you, not the cost of it or even the importance of it in some one's life. The giving is an expression of our love to others. I am having a hard time putting these thoughts into words. Probably you won't get a gift from us and yet we truly care about each of you and many of you are remembered and prayed for often. God gave His only Son to the world on that first Christmas when Jesus came as a baby to live among man. The giving of the gift of Jesus is God's expression of His love to each of us. It matters not who we are, where we live or how wealthy we are. Unlike us mere humans who cannot give gifts to everyone, God did, by giving us Jesus.
We are also content--at least most of the time. We have peace about our lives and trust that God truly will continue to guide us and go before us as we continue to trust Him. Perhaps we are in a situation that we know there is nothing we are able to do-- not turn back the clock,not take a redo (I believe that is called a mulligan) or change things, so we need to carry on doing the best we are able in every area of our lives--physically, financially, emotionally, and spiritually. When we take out eyes off of Jesus and look around us at what others are able to do and have then that peace and Christmas joy can hit a sour note. We are getting so much better at enjoying who we are, what we have and what we do.
These thoughts hopefully portray the Christmas joy that we have.
In less than three months the succulent sense that the cancer in Bob's body is under control has been blown out of the water.....splASH!!!!!
In spite of not seeing any new lesions in early Sept. the blood work, well, still remaining in the low number range, doubled. This made Dr. Bahlis decide that the maintenance dose was not enough to keep the cancer in check. First of all Bob went back on the velcade every three weeks with one week off. This still proved not to settle things down so this past Fri. the dreaded Dex. was added to the velcade. The Dex is the anabolic steroid--no sleep, cramps, high blood sugar and added extra tiredness. This lasts at its most ugly 2-3 days. This is the path of multiple myeloma that we are on, being patient and understanding and doing the best we are able in all things. Bob's dose is still in the lower ranges of what can be given. Next week will be a better test of how he will feel as this past Wed. Bob also had the arridia infusion which always upsets his system for a few days. This infusion helps to strengthen the bones.
That is the latest on Bob's health and what is happening.
Trusting that you have or will accept God's gift of Jesus this Christmas season.
Sunday, December 15, 2013
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Poof, summer is gone
Where did the summer go? This year it sped by at warp pace. Now that it is truly fall, I should at least mention some of what is/has been happening. Note that today our roses are at the loveliest thy have been--lots of blooms. We have not had frost yet so hopefully this fall will last and last.
During the summer Bob had a PET scan. Bob's blood work is unreliable as to what the multiple myeloma is doing so every 6 mo. he has this test done to see if there are fresh tumors (lesions) on the bone anywhere. We hadn't heard anything after this was done so like the saying goes no news is good news. It was !!!!!!!, hurrah, hurrah, yesterday Bob was told that there were not any new lesions. Everything looked ok. Bob will continue on with the velcade---alone!!!! every other week by intravenous. Good news for both of us. The worst side affect for Bob is the neuropathy. We learned on this past weekend that with the velcade the feeling will come back once off of the velcade. This is unlike the revlamid. Bob has already noticed this as the day or so at the end of the two week cycle, his feet are doing well again. So we can safely say that today Bob is in remission the myeloma is not active and so this is the maintenance regime.
Last weekend we attended the Southern Alberta Myeloma Patient Society conference. This was most informative. The speakers were top notch. The research across the world is top rate and what is taking place right here in Calgary (what is another adjective) is stupendous. Our Dr. Bahlis and his wife Dr. Neri have research going on that deals with----things I didn't understand and for sure can't spell---. They have just added another young Dr. to their clinic who is already involved with research. I could run the other two docs names by you to impress you as to where they come from and what they are researching in their parts of the world but sheesh you just had to hear the excitement in their voices as to what they do and what they are learning about myeloma. They have a number of new drugs on test and a number more that will soon be able to go on test. The combinations of drugs that that they are looking at are ever evolving so the most important thing we came away with was HOPE. Myeloma will have new procedures to combat it with for a hopefully long time. This was a boost for us. There is research on mind/body interactions that affect psychological, physiological and survival outcome for people with cancer. Also examining roles of physical activity for enhancing wellness in chronic disease populations (mostly cancer). Calling multiple myeloma a chronic disease is like wow yeah!!!!!! This off course means Bob needs to exercise more even some on any truly yukky days. We also took away what everyone has always known----all things in moderation--food, diet, exercise, checkups of all types.
Bob is very happy at his job and some weeks is maintaining almost full time hours. It is a wee bit more difficult the beginning week after chemo. I am back in school two days and doing the snack for our 175 kids----they aren't all at school every day so it works!!!!
Tim's sore from long ago is healed. He was allergic to what the nurse was packing it with!!!! Grrrrrrr. So he had Barbie are taking a trial trip away first weekend in Oct. to Vegas. Vegas is suppose to be the easiest place to go in a wheelchair. The fella from Quadriplegic Canada (Calgary?) has a condo there all ready for anyone in a wheelchair. He rents it out at a nominal charge. Should this go well................next stop Disneyland with the whole family. The money from the social almost 2 years ago will finance that trip.
Today I am at peace with the world (well most of it) and "feel" great. To take a note from our daughter ......it is well with my soul.... (no tattoos for me tho).
If this video may be of interest to you it is about multiple myeloma from a Calgary survivor. You should be able to just click on it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bfwhVwoZqI&list=PL6FEA9179A6F7B1B1
During the summer Bob had a PET scan. Bob's blood work is unreliable as to what the multiple myeloma is doing so every 6 mo. he has this test done to see if there are fresh tumors (lesions) on the bone anywhere. We hadn't heard anything after this was done so like the saying goes no news is good news. It was !!!!!!!, hurrah, hurrah, yesterday Bob was told that there were not any new lesions. Everything looked ok. Bob will continue on with the velcade---alone!!!! every other week by intravenous. Good news for both of us. The worst side affect for Bob is the neuropathy. We learned on this past weekend that with the velcade the feeling will come back once off of the velcade. This is unlike the revlamid. Bob has already noticed this as the day or so at the end of the two week cycle, his feet are doing well again. So we can safely say that today Bob is in remission the myeloma is not active and so this is the maintenance regime.
Last weekend we attended the Southern Alberta Myeloma Patient Society conference. This was most informative. The speakers were top notch. The research across the world is top rate and what is taking place right here in Calgary (what is another adjective) is stupendous. Our Dr. Bahlis and his wife Dr. Neri have research going on that deals with----things I didn't understand and for sure can't spell---. They have just added another young Dr. to their clinic who is already involved with research. I could run the other two docs names by you to impress you as to where they come from and what they are researching in their parts of the world but sheesh you just had to hear the excitement in their voices as to what they do and what they are learning about myeloma. They have a number of new drugs on test and a number more that will soon be able to go on test. The combinations of drugs that that they are looking at are ever evolving so the most important thing we came away with was HOPE. Myeloma will have new procedures to combat it with for a hopefully long time. This was a boost for us. There is research on mind/body interactions that affect psychological, physiological and survival outcome for people with cancer. Also examining roles of physical activity for enhancing wellness in chronic disease populations (mostly cancer). Calling multiple myeloma a chronic disease is like wow yeah!!!!!! This off course means Bob needs to exercise more even some on any truly yukky days. We also took away what everyone has always known----all things in moderation--food, diet, exercise, checkups of all types.
Bob is very happy at his job and some weeks is maintaining almost full time hours. It is a wee bit more difficult the beginning week after chemo. I am back in school two days and doing the snack for our 175 kids----they aren't all at school every day so it works!!!!
Tim's sore from long ago is healed. He was allergic to what the nurse was packing it with!!!! Grrrrrrr. So he had Barbie are taking a trial trip away first weekend in Oct. to Vegas. Vegas is suppose to be the easiest place to go in a wheelchair. The fella from Quadriplegic Canada (Calgary?) has a condo there all ready for anyone in a wheelchair. He rents it out at a nominal charge. Should this go well................next stop Disneyland with the whole family. The money from the social almost 2 years ago will finance that trip.
Today I am at peace with the world (well most of it) and "feel" great. To take a note from our daughter ......it is well with my soul.... (no tattoos for me tho).
If this video may be of interest to you it is about multiple myeloma from a Calgary survivor. You should be able to just click on it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5bfwhVwoZqI&list=PL6FEA9179A6F7B1B1
Monday, September 9, 2013
Shirley experienced a miracle
Today I experienced a miracle. God did a miracle--don't know how--isn't that what a miracle is all about???,seeing something happen that has no logical explanation.
This is an ordinary Monday in my life. Monday is wash day, ironing and putting away all the clothes.Maybe a little OC over laundry--not much else tho?? I had my first load of wash in the machine and went upstairs to check email and yeah.......FB, then did a couple of chores. I fiqured that by then the first load would be washed and ready for the dryer. As I went down the basement stairs I could smell something funny and it was hazy in the basement. First I thot , oh my glasses must be more dirty than I thot. Even as I thot that I didn't really believe it as I could see the haze near the ceiling of the basement swirl slightly. I ran into the laundry room, couldn't see anything, opened the washer and it hadn't finished spinning---odd, checked out the electric panel--nothing. I ran upstairs and called 911, even tho I was told to wait outside I went back into the basement and checked around the washer again as that was the only appliance that was on. I noticed that the washer was unplugged, I hadn't done that. The smell and haze was definitely coming from there but there weren't any flames or anything. The fire and police arrived on our quiet cul de sac, anyone at home has been entertained and enjoyed a cup of coffee together as they watched the proceedings. The dogs next door, who are all alone, will now have laryngitis for the season (cross my fingers). These very nice young men came in and checked everything very carefully. They decided that it was the washer and took it apart. The motor had kept running but the belt had burned. They didn't know if the motor was damaged but were sure that the belt had been the problem. They cleared the haze with a humongous fan and were kind enough to be sure that this granny was ok and not having a nervous breakdown.
I started to read a book entitled Miracles Are For Real What Happens when Heaven Touches Earth by James L Garlow and Keith Wall. My friend Joan had loaned it to me. Together we are praying for a miracle. This book was to be an encouragement of things that happen in peoples lives with no reasonable explanation. These events have been in the past two decades. The book really made me think and trust even more, that God still does do the unexplainable. Skeptics abound needing proof when there is no proof such as something science can explain.
Today my machine was unplugged and the cord lay parallel to the wall on the top of my vacuum. The cord had not just fallen out of the plug to the floor. This event, I believe, prevented a larger catastrophe from happening in our house.
This also takes my thoughts further at how Bob has survived, not just survived but has thrived with a cancer that can defeat people quickly. Was the cancer cured? NO but the miracle is in Bob's life---every day---. I am grateful to our Lord and God Jesus Christ who today cared for our home.
This is an ordinary Monday in my life. Monday is wash day, ironing and putting away all the clothes.Maybe a little OC over laundry--not much else tho?? I had my first load of wash in the machine and went upstairs to check email and yeah.......FB, then did a couple of chores. I fiqured that by then the first load would be washed and ready for the dryer. As I went down the basement stairs I could smell something funny and it was hazy in the basement. First I thot , oh my glasses must be more dirty than I thot. Even as I thot that I didn't really believe it as I could see the haze near the ceiling of the basement swirl slightly. I ran into the laundry room, couldn't see anything, opened the washer and it hadn't finished spinning---odd, checked out the electric panel--nothing. I ran upstairs and called 911, even tho I was told to wait outside I went back into the basement and checked around the washer again as that was the only appliance that was on. I noticed that the washer was unplugged, I hadn't done that. The smell and haze was definitely coming from there but there weren't any flames or anything. The fire and police arrived on our quiet cul de sac, anyone at home has been entertained and enjoyed a cup of coffee together as they watched the proceedings. The dogs next door, who are all alone, will now have laryngitis for the season (cross my fingers). These very nice young men came in and checked everything very carefully. They decided that it was the washer and took it apart. The motor had kept running but the belt had burned. They didn't know if the motor was damaged but were sure that the belt had been the problem. They cleared the haze with a humongous fan and were kind enough to be sure that this granny was ok and not having a nervous breakdown.
I started to read a book entitled Miracles Are For Real What Happens when Heaven Touches Earth by James L Garlow and Keith Wall. My friend Joan had loaned it to me. Together we are praying for a miracle. This book was to be an encouragement of things that happen in peoples lives with no reasonable explanation. These events have been in the past two decades. The book really made me think and trust even more, that God still does do the unexplainable. Skeptics abound needing proof when there is no proof such as something science can explain.
Today my machine was unplugged and the cord lay parallel to the wall on the top of my vacuum. The cord had not just fallen out of the plug to the floor. This event, I believe, prevented a larger catastrophe from happening in our house.
This also takes my thoughts further at how Bob has survived, not just survived but has thrived with a cancer that can defeat people quickly. Was the cancer cured? NO but the miracle is in Bob's life---every day---. I am grateful to our Lord and God Jesus Christ who today cared for our home.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Devastation
In the previous post I said that none of the days were wasted. I truly want to believe that about each event that comes into my life-----I think I am safe in speaking for Bob too, so, what comesinto our lives. Each day and each event that we have is not wasted in God's purpose for our lives. I suppose if we are able to surrender to the Lord completely, and know that, not only the nice warm fuzzy things are going to be coming into our lives, but also the hard, earth shattering, dirty things may also enter into our experiences, we could hope and believe and know that none of these things are wasted but are ultimately for our spiritual good and growth.
This idea of "wasted" is part of a song I had heard on galaxy radio. I was busy sewing and not really listening---so I missed most of it and have no idea the name of the song. However the phrase "nothing is wasted with our Redeemer" caught my attention. Over the past many weeks I have pondered that phrase over and over. I suppose the floods out here in Alberta brought the song's words to the fore front again. How would God use these events for the ultimate good of the folks devastated by the loss of their homes, possessions, financial ruin, businesses in ruin-----it truly is horrible. I was wondering if one of those homes had been mine could I still grab hold of Jesus' hand and walk with Him through all that needs doing? I want to believe that we could do exactly that. We have watched people on TV say exactly that,--- that God will see them through, "it is only stuff, thankful no one was killed." Should people honestly and humbly begin to look to the Lord for strength, the days will not be wasted. Samaritan's Purse has been out in High River, in Calgary, on the First Nation reservations helping not only physically but also being there to listen to and speak with hurting people. We call it Samaritan's Purse but the people are volunteers from so very many churches across this area. Truly they are Samaritans --giving up their own lives for 1 day, 2 days or??? days to help people they don't know and may never see again. It was great that our church had many fellas go out to do this back breaking, smelly work. To shovel out a basement of that heavy wet mud (which was not only soil mud) after the water had been sucked out was tough and then all of the stuff!!!!! so that there was nothing left in the basement just the concrete walls was not only hard but emotionally draining. I was proud of our grandsons--Colton and Ashton--they helped in Calgary for one home. They helped their Uncle Devon and Shane shovel and empty out the basement of friends of theirs, who are elderly. The boys came home totally pooped and very filthy. In order to officially help, a person needs to be 18 years old, so they only did that one house. All these experiences help the boys too.
I am thinking that much of the horror that I sense about this flood comes from the one day that I spent out in High River. We were away for the most part of the flood aftermath and returned after the 2 week mark (however that is for the next blog). I made sandwiches and muffins and took a turn to go out with the group from our church that had set up food tents and had been out there pretty much from the get go. I had this sense of...oh I don't know---I am doing something so noble, so good. I suppose I was in a way, doing something good, but with the wrong attitude. From where this tent was, the devastation was---dry and "under control" but I could see and imagine how horrible it had been during the short time previous. It was heartbreaking to see the elderly couples come for food and coffee and return to the homes that they enjoyed into their retirements. These same homes that were being torn apart and all their "stuff" was being dumped outside, strangers were in and out of their homes. Each of these home owners was so thankful for the help and for the bit of comfort the fresh food brought. The whole situation made me feel so sad and from what I was told I had no idea how it had been, how muddy, smelly, destroyed-- but I could imagine. I believe that we were there to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus--to comfort, encourage and listen. I realize that doing those things is not noble, maybe good, but it truly is all about serving and obeying what one believes God desires of them. The couple that I went out with took a ride around the town after our shift. There were areas that no one was allowed into. Yet we could see the horribleness of the situation. The scene that stays in my mind ---behind a road block was a long street with the trees on either side that grey color, the road, sidewalks?, boulevards--everything covered in this brown color and walking down the center was one person, all alone, dressed in a white hazard suit, hood up,big boots, big gloves, and a face mask--big, like it could have been more than just a mask. That picture made me think of those end of the world science fiction movies. Truly made me feel...........sad, like the town had been thwarted. In some ways it has been.. There are many more scenes that totally unnerved me that showed the unleashed power of nature. As much as we desire and aspire to control our environment we cannot. People really do need to know the Lord. How could we survive this kind of event if we didn't believe that not one day or event is a waste with the Lord. How could Tim and Barbie survive? How could Trent and Janelle survive, Dave and Dianne? How could Bob and I survive if we didn't believe that there is a larger, eternal purpose for us. Our horrible--cancer-- is only for a short season. May we be faithful not to waste what God is walking with us through.
Bob's journey brings a PET scan on July 29, news of the appointment in today's mail.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Deciphering
Taking me a long time to get back to the blog, I allow so much to take up my time in drips and drivels. Truth be known I am also a horrible procrastinator. Today the sun isn't shining so it is the kind of day that suggests putting ones thoughts on paper would be ok.
This week Bob will not be having chemo so we are still deciphering how just receiving the velcade on last Fri. is working. Without the other two drugs some of the velcade side affects were more noticeable. The nausea and sick feeling stomach lasted through Sunday. Bob does take the anti nausea drugs so he wasn't actually sick, which is a blessing---he just didn't feel that well. The neuropathy is bad, his feet are just "crawling", so Bob is using the Tiger Balm but probably not as often as he should. He also thought that he would stop taking gabapenton. This is to help with the neuropathy. Sheesh I forget which side affect that drug gives Bob that he doesn't like. Anyway you get the picture, so Bob is taking that drug again. The big side affect is being tired, probably from everything. After typing all that I would have to say that Bob is doing well!!!! There is no cancer pain (bone pain). He is working pretty much full time again. He leaves work earlier when he needs and on any treatment days, or Dr. days, Bob is able to take the time as needed. Sooooooo very thankful for this job. Bob's desire is to work as long as he is able. A friend asked "didn't he want to take the time and retire and do other things?" Bob hasn't gotten to 65 yet and as we are not independently wealthy he was striving to hit that goal first. We have never travelled so travelling is hard to think about (crazy, I know). Perhaps there will come a time when we would chance to dabble in travelling, other than to see family. Bob just replied to his friend "I like to work, that is what I know". The hobbies that Bob has take a fair bit of change to accomplish as well. All in all in my deciphering, Bob is great therefore I am great.
We just celebrated our FORTY THIRD wedding anniversary!!! You may wonder, just like we have, "how is that possible!!!!". I will tell you a wee secret:...... we were married as children.(laugh now) Well, now a days, we would have been considered almost children. However we were full fledged adults and knew everything. We learned life together over these 43 years and learned that we knew almost nothing. Every marriage is a huge learning curve----wow!!!! Thinking how fast time has gone by can make me feel pensive(as perhaps melancoly is to strong a word!!!!?! ) Three years ago we had our pictures taken for our anniversary. Bob was totally off of drugs at the time and was looking so very well. I sent a number of those pics out kinda like an anniversary card rather than wait for Christmas. I did this mainly because I didn't think Bob would ever be as well as he was then. Now these three years later, he is still doing well. I (we) have learned so much about trust and dependance and acceptance and the love of God during this time that for us not one of these days has been wasted.
Friday, July 12, 2013
Firstly
Lots to write, but firstly: Bob was to see Dr. Bahlis yesterday July 11 (our 43rd anniversary). The news is encouraging and gave a greater cause for celebration. First the numbers:
WBC 4.8
RBC 3.6
HGB 113
Platelets 168
Creatine 15780
Protein 2.07
Bob only did the tests the same day as the visit so results for tumor markers and a couple of other tests weren't ready when he saw Dr. B.
Dr. B. is going to move to a maintenance regime for a time and see how that goes. Beginning this Fri. Bob will only receive the velcade as the chemo dose. He will receive this every other week. Dr. B. wasn't convinced about the Spain trial. Bob will have to go into the hospital as it is an infusion. The neuropathy will continue to be a side affect. We are now rubbing his feet with something that has a high menthol content. Dr. B. suggested he read some good results from that??? We have started with Tiger Balm which Bob's uncle Jake had suggested years ago for whatever aches.
The other side affects---the diabetes (for 2 days) the constipation, and the hyper activity and no sleep from the dex, hopefully will be gone. The tiredness at other times may continue but that one is easy (mostly).
A PET scan is being set up for the next mo. or so. That is what tells the real story. Once we see those results we will truly rejoice with the maintenance regime. Altho very thankful that the rest of the summer could be easier on Bob --drug wise.
One more number that Bob is pleased about--thot I'd share with you: BMI is 27,1200 with the upper number for him being 30,000. Sheesh--I am walking---hopefully diligently, every day to get a healthier BMI.
WBC 4.8
RBC 3.6
HGB 113
Platelets 168
Creatine 15780
Protein 2.07
Bob only did the tests the same day as the visit so results for tumor markers and a couple of other tests weren't ready when he saw Dr. B.
Dr. B. is going to move to a maintenance regime for a time and see how that goes. Beginning this Fri. Bob will only receive the velcade as the chemo dose. He will receive this every other week. Dr. B. wasn't convinced about the Spain trial. Bob will have to go into the hospital as it is an infusion. The neuropathy will continue to be a side affect. We are now rubbing his feet with something that has a high menthol content. Dr. B. suggested he read some good results from that??? We have started with Tiger Balm which Bob's uncle Jake had suggested years ago for whatever aches.
The other side affects---the diabetes (for 2 days) the constipation, and the hyper activity and no sleep from the dex, hopefully will be gone. The tiredness at other times may continue but that one is easy (mostly).
A PET scan is being set up for the next mo. or so. That is what tells the real story. Once we see those results we will truly rejoice with the maintenance regime. Altho very thankful that the rest of the summer could be easier on Bob --drug wise.
One more number that Bob is pleased about--thot I'd share with you: BMI is 27,1200 with the upper number for him being 30,000. Sheesh--I am walking---hopefully diligently, every day to get a healthier BMI.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
Oh yeah!!!! Oh Yeah!!!!!
Tues the 11th I went with Bob to our new South Campus Hospital. The lab is open there but only for banker's hours. One cannot make an appt. yet, but we were in and out, including finding where we parked, in half an hour. This is such a lovely new facility and slowly opening in phases that there didn't seem to be any chaos.!!!!! There are great volunteers who can tell by the glazed over eyes of the folks coming in that we don't have a clue where to go. These volunteers don't just give you directions they actually take you to where you want to go!!!! As they do that they continue telling you all sorts of details about the hospital. I am thinking ALL hospitals need to do this........dreaming!!!!
Yesterday, June 12, was a hospital day for Bob. He had the arridia in the morning. That is to help strengthen the bones. Advancement in research and delivery of medicine has made this now only a two hour delivery in a nice cushy reclining chair. Sure hope Bob doesn't keep the whole ward awake!! :-} The afternoon was spent waiting and seeing Dr. Bahlis. Naturally all of the markers in the blood and urine were good. He is thinking about the PET scan---in another month. We really hope the doc does it as then they will see for sure what is going on in the bones. The talk is back to a maintenance velcade dose. Dr. B. talks about a few different scenarios of what that may look like. In Spain they have chemo once every 3 months for 3 weeks--velcade, dex and revlamid. Here they have a treatment every other week. The results look very similar. Bob would like the Spainish version. That way his feet may have a chance to recover from the neuropathy and he could feel "normal' for a bit. He begins this 3 week round on Fri. the 14th. Bob will be missing one week tho on the 28th!!!!!!! oh yeah , oh yeah. So looking forward to seeing everyone "down east".
For my dear sister and any other medical types: Kappa Free 22.8
Lambda Free 17.2
Ratio 1.33
WBC 5.4
RBC 3.8
HGB 116
Platelets 163
U protein .16
There was no Beta-2 Microglobulin given.
Summer is here altho the temps in Calgary do not prove it. Yet with the intense sun it is very warm if one should be in the sun. My garden is an orchestra--each plant comin "in" and blooming on cue. ONLY they are playing way to fast!!!!!!!
Yesterday, June 12, was a hospital day for Bob. He had the arridia in the morning. That is to help strengthen the bones. Advancement in research and delivery of medicine has made this now only a two hour delivery in a nice cushy reclining chair. Sure hope Bob doesn't keep the whole ward awake!! :-} The afternoon was spent waiting and seeing Dr. Bahlis. Naturally all of the markers in the blood and urine were good. He is thinking about the PET scan---in another month. We really hope the doc does it as then they will see for sure what is going on in the bones. The talk is back to a maintenance velcade dose. Dr. B. talks about a few different scenarios of what that may look like. In Spain they have chemo once every 3 months for 3 weeks--velcade, dex and revlamid. Here they have a treatment every other week. The results look very similar. Bob would like the Spainish version. That way his feet may have a chance to recover from the neuropathy and he could feel "normal' for a bit. He begins this 3 week round on Fri. the 14th. Bob will be missing one week tho on the 28th!!!!!!! oh yeah , oh yeah. So looking forward to seeing everyone "down east".
For my dear sister and any other medical types: Kappa Free 22.8
Lambda Free 17.2
Ratio 1.33
WBC 5.4
RBC 3.8
HGB 116
Platelets 163
U protein .16
There was no Beta-2 Microglobulin given.
Summer is here altho the temps in Calgary do not prove it. Yet with the intense sun it is very warm if one should be in the sun. My garden is an orchestra--each plant comin "in" and blooming on cue. ONLY they are playing way to fast!!!!!!!
Monday, June 10, 2013
Continued Joys
Sunday--June 9-- when our granddaughter, Emily,
asked her grandpa, Bob to baptize her. It is a joy to
see Emily make the decision to publicly declare her desire to follow Jesus. This has been a huge honor for Bob. His whole life is about our families.
He loves them all so much and does his best to help out in any way he is able. Standing and praying with Emily before the Lord and our church family was very humbling and gratifying. We praise the Lord for what He is doing in the hearts and lives of our family.
The story of Joseph in the bible comes to mind. Joseph tells his brothers that what they had done to him by selling him to slavery God used for good. We see that truth so very clearly in hindsight that the many things in our married life together, one month shy of 43 years, that were tough and could have been disastrous, God has used for good. Today I am able to say even the cancer diagnosis Bob received, the Lord has used in our lives to move us to knowing, loving and being more obedient to Jesus. God is so much more real to us. Eternity is more real...........................I really can't put it into words. Praise God from Who all blessings flow.
Monday, June 3, 2013
Joys in the Midst
Sometimes the cancer walk down right stinks and we loose patience with the whole process. Then a couple of "happy" items take the edge off of the cancer focus.
This weekend (May 25) was Emily's piano recital. She has an amazing teacher who lives about three doors down from the Maguire's. This was huge for Barbie when Shamus was little. Emily could hop, skip and jump over to Donna's on her own. As the years progressed and we came to know Donna more we realized what a gifted, educated music teacher she is. This was Donna's 37th year of having her students do a recital. Emily loves Donna to bits and Donna has shown her, and her husband's kindness and generosity to Tim, Barbie and the family. All of this came together as Emily played her piece. Brought tears to Bob and I and such an appreciation for the people who have taken time to pour love and care into our family. To say the least Emily plays very well and we trust that she will continue on for many more years, That was the morning's happy event.
Bob took Colton out after lunch for a drive into an area of the city that Colton was not familiar with and where we were told the testers from the registry Colton was taking his driver's test from, (breath) do the testing. Drum roll then it was time for our Colton to drive the test. Bob waited for him and Tim and Barbie drove over for the big event. One really needs to know Colton to really picture him coming across the parking lot with his happy smirk on----getting larger---maybe a real grin and the "aw shucks" body language. He did it passed on the first time. Truly awesome. Barbie's first quote " I am never going for milk again". Now mom and dad and grandpa are working things out with insurance etc before Colton will go solo. This could not have happened if not for the kindness and care of others pouring into our Maguire family. A very special gentleman paid the cost for Colton to take driver training with AMA, thank you so much. Grandpa Phil Northrup took some of his time to take Colton driving----RCMP driver training!!! Of course grandpa Bob, who loves our grandkids so much, spent lots and lots of hours with Colton out driving which in the midst of the cancer was joy. That was our afternoon happy event.
As we were sitting in church on Sunday morning our newest grandaughter was being born. Mike and Cori's baby girl Gavrielle Ylena Marie was born at 10:43 am at home with two midwives present. Gavrielle weighed 10 pounds 12 ounces. Gavrielle and Cori did amazing. Thank you to these midwives who took and are taking such good care of Cori and Gavrielle. Cori was up almost immediately and had showered early in the afternoon. Gavrielle looks amazing--nice and pink--non of that birth trauma look. I am thinking that with 14 grandkids our quiver is full. What a huge blessing for us to have thees kids as part of our lives. What a blessing adoption has been, what a blessing these women made in choosing life. That was our Sunday happy event.
Bob is thinking that the one drug that he is taking that fights the neuropathy is kicking in!!! The pain is much less and the walking is much easier. Either Bob is getting use to the chemo side affects or they are just not as bad now, that this course of chemo is almost done. Either way this makes for a happier, easier week.
Ashton is almost 15 and went to take his learners test to begin driver training, with grandpa for now. He did very well!!!! The tester didn't have him finish the test as he had already done better on part of the test, than is needed to pass. That added to our very good week. Then up pipes Emily "in a year I will be 14 and I can get my learners". Wow, these grandkids are growing up way to fast----or we are getting "older" way to fast. A very fun happy day.
On this past Sat. we watched Colton drive away from Tim and Barbie's on his first solo driving trip!!!! From their house we could see him drive all the way down and through the roundabout----that infamous Mckenzie Towne roundabout----HE MADE IT---big sigh of relief and a huge sensation in the chest----I do believe that was pride.!!!!!! His first solo trip was to our house,with the lawn mower in the back, to cut our tiny strip of grass. A new driver has to do what he has to do!!!!!!! Made for a fun day and good memory.
Sunday (June2) was Ashton's guitar recital. The group that he takes lessons from come to the student's homes. This has worked very well for Tim and Barbie. Ashton has had Shane for a teacher since Ashton started on the acoustic guitar. Ashton now plays electric almost exclusively. Shane has lived through and stuck with Ashton's temper tantrums, defiance and plain ugly attitude. Thanks Shane, for continuing to care about Ashton each and every week. Not only Shane but all of Ashton's family are rewarded with a darn good guitarist. Ashton played as the highlight of the concert. The buttons really popped again!!!! Job well done Ashton.
We also received many pics of Gavrielle, this week,--a very alert baby, enjoy seeing Maks and Nik and Taylor in the pics. I keep in touch on FB by seeing what our Quebec grandkids are doing. AHHhhhhhh life is good.!!!! These are some of the happy events that keep things on an even keel. Praise God for helping us see these events as pure joy.
This weekend (May 25) was Emily's piano recital. She has an amazing teacher who lives about three doors down from the Maguire's. This was huge for Barbie when Shamus was little. Emily could hop, skip and jump over to Donna's on her own. As the years progressed and we came to know Donna more we realized what a gifted, educated music teacher she is. This was Donna's 37th year of having her students do a recital. Emily loves Donna to bits and Donna has shown her, and her husband's kindness and generosity to Tim, Barbie and the family. All of this came together as Emily played her piece. Brought tears to Bob and I and such an appreciation for the people who have taken time to pour love and care into our family. To say the least Emily plays very well and we trust that she will continue on for many more years, That was the morning's happy event.
Bob took Colton out after lunch for a drive into an area of the city that Colton was not familiar with and where we were told the testers from the registry Colton was taking his driver's test from, (breath) do the testing. Drum roll then it was time for our Colton to drive the test. Bob waited for him and Tim and Barbie drove over for the big event. One really needs to know Colton to really picture him coming across the parking lot with his happy smirk on----getting larger---maybe a real grin and the "aw shucks" body language. He did it passed on the first time. Truly awesome. Barbie's first quote " I am never going for milk again". Now mom and dad and grandpa are working things out with insurance etc before Colton will go solo. This could not have happened if not for the kindness and care of others pouring into our Maguire family. A very special gentleman paid the cost for Colton to take driver training with AMA, thank you so much. Grandpa Phil Northrup took some of his time to take Colton driving----RCMP driver training!!! Of course grandpa Bob, who loves our grandkids so much, spent lots and lots of hours with Colton out driving which in the midst of the cancer was joy. That was our afternoon happy event.
As we were sitting in church on Sunday morning our newest grandaughter was being born. Mike and Cori's baby girl Gavrielle Ylena Marie was born at 10:43 am at home with two midwives present. Gavrielle weighed 10 pounds 12 ounces. Gavrielle and Cori did amazing. Thank you to these midwives who took and are taking such good care of Cori and Gavrielle. Cori was up almost immediately and had showered early in the afternoon. Gavrielle looks amazing--nice and pink--non of that birth trauma look. I am thinking that with 14 grandkids our quiver is full. What a huge blessing for us to have thees kids as part of our lives. What a blessing adoption has been, what a blessing these women made in choosing life. That was our Sunday happy event.
Bob is thinking that the one drug that he is taking that fights the neuropathy is kicking in!!! The pain is much less and the walking is much easier. Either Bob is getting use to the chemo side affects or they are just not as bad now, that this course of chemo is almost done. Either way this makes for a happier, easier week.
Ashton is almost 15 and went to take his learners test to begin driver training, with grandpa for now. He did very well!!!! The tester didn't have him finish the test as he had already done better on part of the test, than is needed to pass. That added to our very good week. Then up pipes Emily "in a year I will be 14 and I can get my learners". Wow, these grandkids are growing up way to fast----or we are getting "older" way to fast. A very fun happy day.
On this past Sat. we watched Colton drive away from Tim and Barbie's on his first solo driving trip!!!! From their house we could see him drive all the way down and through the roundabout----that infamous Mckenzie Towne roundabout----HE MADE IT---big sigh of relief and a huge sensation in the chest----I do believe that was pride.!!!!!! His first solo trip was to our house,with the lawn mower in the back, to cut our tiny strip of grass. A new driver has to do what he has to do!!!!!!! Made for a fun day and good memory.
Sunday (June2) was Ashton's guitar recital. The group that he takes lessons from come to the student's homes. This has worked very well for Tim and Barbie. Ashton has had Shane for a teacher since Ashton started on the acoustic guitar. Ashton now plays electric almost exclusively. Shane has lived through and stuck with Ashton's temper tantrums, defiance and plain ugly attitude. Thanks Shane, for continuing to care about Ashton each and every week. Not only Shane but all of Ashton's family are rewarded with a darn good guitarist. Ashton played as the highlight of the concert. The buttons really popped again!!!! Job well done Ashton.
We also received many pics of Gavrielle, this week,--a very alert baby, enjoy seeing Maks and Nik and Taylor in the pics. I keep in touch on FB by seeing what our Quebec grandkids are doing. AHHhhhhhh life is good.!!!! These are some of the happy events that keep things on an even keel. Praise God for helping us see these events as pure joy.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Maylong-------Victoria Day Weekend
Maylong weekend is over so now we can say that summer has arrived. Bob and I haven't been away on the Maylong for....... sheesh I don't know how long!!! ;} This Maylong we took a road trip to SK. to see our son Mike and his family. It was a lovely uplifting time. Bob did really well even tho he had had chemo on Fri. We drove out on Sat. and back on Monday. Kinda short time for a long drive.
It was so enjoyable to be out in the country and seeing all of the spring activities taking place on the farms. Lots and lots of seeding. Huge equipment doing what I could only imagine would be acres and acres in a day. I didn't see one husband and wife team loading a 12 foot disc drill by pail fulls hmmm. Lots of fields were already beginning to grow---you could see that hint of green just emerging from the soil. We also saw the most amazing deep green field of alfalfa (once our specialty). Wow, "that will be ready to cut in a matter of a couple of weeks." Then there was either fall rye or winter wheat that was a good size. We saw so many cow/calf herds with all the sweet baby calves. I took special note of the farm yards---rotor tillers parked by or in gardens----BIG gardens, nice, bright white stakes to mark the rows of each vegetable, garden tractors cutting grass, push mowers doing the trimming around trees and flower beds. Bob and I couldn't help but talk about our old farm and all the things both great and crazy that we had done. Knowing what details are involved in all these pastoral scenes made us stop and think!!!!!!!!!! and give thanks that we have been there, and done that.
As I write this we are still awaiting another wee granddaughter. Thot we might have been with Mike and Cori to help out but no, baby is on her own time schedule. The family is doing well, Cori is amazing as a wife and mom. The three little ones will be 27 months apart from oldest to new baby. Taylor is 12 and is a big help. Mike is doing well, sorted life out and dealing well not only with baggage but also the future. Mike and Cori see and correspond with Mike's 3 kids in MB and I think that is a positive. They are looking to God for input and direction in their lives. No one knows the direction or purpose or how God uses ones past to impact our future. We trust Mike and family to the Lord and pray that the Lord will continue to make their path straight and sure as they go on in their lives.
NORMAL------ever changing. It seems that Bob's normal will be chemo in some form forever. We will both be dealing with the side effects of that chemo most of the time. Bob will be having pain from neuropathy and will be using a walking stick to help keep his balance. Do not be quick to judge someone who stumbles on a flat even floor. See only the love between two people when someone has his arm or hand on a companions shoulder. We are not stopping the fight or to deal with the cancer, we are dealing with the new normal and the reality of multiple myeloma.
There is a beautiful rain as I write this almost a week after the Maylong. The rain refreshes and brings hope. That is how we always thought of rain in the Brandon Hills. In my little yard I still see it that way----my shrubs and trees will love this first real rain of this growing season. Near the rivers folks are beginning to think of high water and beginning to plan for flooding, as the spring runoff from the mountains is still to come. I am still thinking 3 inches of rain is darn nice plus I have my cool rubber boots by the back door.
Each new day brings hope as well. Enjoy each day.
It was so enjoyable to be out in the country and seeing all of the spring activities taking place on the farms. Lots and lots of seeding. Huge equipment doing what I could only imagine would be acres and acres in a day. I didn't see one husband and wife team loading a 12 foot disc drill by pail fulls hmmm. Lots of fields were already beginning to grow---you could see that hint of green just emerging from the soil. We also saw the most amazing deep green field of alfalfa (once our specialty). Wow, "that will be ready to cut in a matter of a couple of weeks." Then there was either fall rye or winter wheat that was a good size. We saw so many cow/calf herds with all the sweet baby calves. I took special note of the farm yards---rotor tillers parked by or in gardens----BIG gardens, nice, bright white stakes to mark the rows of each vegetable, garden tractors cutting grass, push mowers doing the trimming around trees and flower beds. Bob and I couldn't help but talk about our old farm and all the things both great and crazy that we had done. Knowing what details are involved in all these pastoral scenes made us stop and think!!!!!!!!!! and give thanks that we have been there, and done that.
As I write this we are still awaiting another wee granddaughter. Thot we might have been with Mike and Cori to help out but no, baby is on her own time schedule. The family is doing well, Cori is amazing as a wife and mom. The three little ones will be 27 months apart from oldest to new baby. Taylor is 12 and is a big help. Mike is doing well, sorted life out and dealing well not only with baggage but also the future. Mike and Cori see and correspond with Mike's 3 kids in MB and I think that is a positive. They are looking to God for input and direction in their lives. No one knows the direction or purpose or how God uses ones past to impact our future. We trust Mike and family to the Lord and pray that the Lord will continue to make their path straight and sure as they go on in their lives.
NORMAL------ever changing. It seems that Bob's normal will be chemo in some form forever. We will both be dealing with the side effects of that chemo most of the time. Bob will be having pain from neuropathy and will be using a walking stick to help keep his balance. Do not be quick to judge someone who stumbles on a flat even floor. See only the love between two people when someone has his arm or hand on a companions shoulder. We are not stopping the fight or to deal with the cancer, we are dealing with the new normal and the reality of multiple myeloma.
There is a beautiful rain as I write this almost a week after the Maylong. The rain refreshes and brings hope. That is how we always thought of rain in the Brandon Hills. In my little yard I still see it that way----my shrubs and trees will love this first real rain of this growing season. Near the rivers folks are beginning to think of high water and beginning to plan for flooding, as the spring runoff from the mountains is still to come. I am still thinking 3 inches of rain is darn nice plus I have my cool rubber boots by the back door.
Each new day brings hope as well. Enjoy each day.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Times a ticking
Bob had such a reality check yesterday!!!and it hurt , don't we all still think we are young and able to still leap tall buildings in one leap? Actually I didn't do well at hurdles so tall buildings would be a streeetch. hehehe. I still think my husband can do anything and he rarely disappoints. The government has different ideas. Yesterday he got the papers to fill out for OAS, go on you can figure out what those letters mean!!!! He also got the papers to fill out for CPP!!!! Yikes, How did he get to be this age? and oh we are so thankful that he is getting this old...... These papers are mailed out 11 months before one's 65th birthday. Still time to process this upcoming event. Of course it will be awhile before I receive mine as I am so much younger!!!! A note of encouragement to those who are younger---KEEP WORKING AND PAYING THOSE PREMIUMS !!!!!
Have you ever sat and pondered how quickly our lives pass, how quickly we become adults, educated, working, raising a family, retiring and then----ultimately on to glory. This life really is like the blink of an eye. I am thinking that is why we need to be prepared for life after death. I suppose that is why we are to store up our treasures in heaven and not here on earth. Bob and I will be spending forever with Jesus in heaven and yep,,, we can know that for sure. Now we become more aware of the need to take as many people, as we are able, with us to spend eternity with Jesus. Praying for our families is more fervent, seeing them sell out to God is cause for rejoicing. Trusting that those around us will realize that the bible is truth and not mess around with the foolishness of this world -- where time is short, but set their eyes on eternity. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. Want to know how? Give me a call or email, or head over to McKenzie Towne Church some Sunday morning esp if you are in Calgary!!!!!!!!!!
Bob had his oncology appointment yesterday----with Dr. Bahlis. His counts are all good and the next PET scan will be at the beginning of June, to see what is really going on. The velcade dose is being dropped down to counteract the neuropathy. He has also been given ANOTHER drug to act as pain relief for the neuropathy. Neuropathy is the destruction of nerve cells. Bob describes his feet, when he walks, as being like walking in a pair of socks that are to big and the socks have become all bunched up on the bottom of your feet. OR like walking on a whole lot of ball bearings. His toes are becoming numb so that is somewhat frightening. Bob is using a walking stick outside and in the estate house---just to help with balance. His attitude about this has been exceptional. Learning to live in a new normal means just that; living in this normal and never going back to what was in the past. Takes time and lots of grace to accept.
I guess our summer won't be as carefree as we first interpreted the last news to be. Yes it will be a maintenance dose but will include all the drugs. The velcade is the one Bob goes to the hospital to receive. Thinking that after the PET scan we will be more aware of the timing of the routine. We are still planning on a trip to MB from June 22- around July 6. We may not be there the whole time but that is the holiday window Bob is taking off. All you MB friends best polish off those rocking chairs, set them in the sun and get the bug zappers out. I hear you may have a large gathering of mosquitoes. We will watch as you golf and work and cut grass and all those other summer adventures. Talk again soon...............
Have you ever sat and pondered how quickly our lives pass, how quickly we become adults, educated, working, raising a family, retiring and then----ultimately on to glory. This life really is like the blink of an eye. I am thinking that is why we need to be prepared for life after death. I suppose that is why we are to store up our treasures in heaven and not here on earth. Bob and I will be spending forever with Jesus in heaven and yep,,, we can know that for sure. Now we become more aware of the need to take as many people, as we are able, with us to spend eternity with Jesus. Praying for our families is more fervent, seeing them sell out to God is cause for rejoicing. Trusting that those around us will realize that the bible is truth and not mess around with the foolishness of this world -- where time is short, but set their eyes on eternity. Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. Want to know how? Give me a call or email, or head over to McKenzie Towne Church some Sunday morning esp if you are in Calgary!!!!!!!!!!
Bob had his oncology appointment yesterday----with Dr. Bahlis. His counts are all good and the next PET scan will be at the beginning of June, to see what is really going on. The velcade dose is being dropped down to counteract the neuropathy. He has also been given ANOTHER drug to act as pain relief for the neuropathy. Neuropathy is the destruction of nerve cells. Bob describes his feet, when he walks, as being like walking in a pair of socks that are to big and the socks have become all bunched up on the bottom of your feet. OR like walking on a whole lot of ball bearings. His toes are becoming numb so that is somewhat frightening. Bob is using a walking stick outside and in the estate house---just to help with balance. His attitude about this has been exceptional. Learning to live in a new normal means just that; living in this normal and never going back to what was in the past. Takes time and lots of grace to accept.
I guess our summer won't be as carefree as we first interpreted the last news to be. Yes it will be a maintenance dose but will include all the drugs. The velcade is the one Bob goes to the hospital to receive. Thinking that after the PET scan we will be more aware of the timing of the routine. We are still planning on a trip to MB from June 22- around July 6. We may not be there the whole time but that is the holiday window Bob is taking off. All you MB friends best polish off those rocking chairs, set them in the sun and get the bug zappers out. I hear you may have a large gathering of mosquitoes. We will watch as you golf and work and cut grass and all those other summer adventures. Talk again soon...............
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Mercy
I was reading my bible today---using the One Year Bible---. I had decided I needed to be "in" the Word more than what my devotional readings were giving me. The OT part I am reading is in Deuteronomy. Moses is preparing to die and the Israelites are preparing to cross over to the promised land. The part that really caught my attention yesterday was that Moses was to write down a song for the Israelites so that they and their children would remember what the Lord had done for them in the past and also how the Israelites had disobeyed God and the consequences of their many disobedience's. The main point for me was to "write it down" lest we forget how we have seen God's Hand at work.
This past weekend was totally unreal for Bob and I and we are shouting God's praises for the whole world to hear. This was the third week of chemo. Bob had had yukky side affects the first two weekends especially the second weekend (Easter) so we were prepared for the worst seeing that this was the week three accumulation. Long story short----very,very minimal yukky side affects, no bloating, minor cramping and minor neuropathy. We kept waiting until we were almost giddy----Praise God for His mercy. Oh me of little faith I waited until Bob came home from work last evening---Bob didn't have to come home early and didn't use his walking stick and didn't have any delayed side affects. So like Thomas I could now totally say: "My Lord and My God" you are alive, alive, alive (sounds like the song) and totally care about us and gave Bob's body relief from the drugs' negative affects. This next week is drug free. Bob is back to see the oncologist on the 17th and back on chemo Friday the 19th.
We totally know and appreciate the prayers of the so very many who are praying for Bob. God heard and answered your prayers and our prayers in such a real miraculous----hmmm---"sightful way" for us.
Now, I have recorded this time of mercy and know God's hand and so in times of doubt, fear and panic I will read this post and say "my God is faithful, He will never leave us or forsake us."
This past weekend was totally unreal for Bob and I and we are shouting God's praises for the whole world to hear. This was the third week of chemo. Bob had had yukky side affects the first two weekends especially the second weekend (Easter) so we were prepared for the worst seeing that this was the week three accumulation. Long story short----very,very minimal yukky side affects, no bloating, minor cramping and minor neuropathy. We kept waiting until we were almost giddy----Praise God for His mercy. Oh me of little faith I waited until Bob came home from work last evening---Bob didn't have to come home early and didn't use his walking stick and didn't have any delayed side affects. So like Thomas I could now totally say: "My Lord and My God" you are alive, alive, alive (sounds like the song) and totally care about us and gave Bob's body relief from the drugs' negative affects. This next week is drug free. Bob is back to see the oncologist on the 17th and back on chemo Friday the 19th.
We totally know and appreciate the prayers of the so very many who are praying for Bob. God heard and answered your prayers and our prayers in such a real miraculous----hmmm---"sightful way" for us.
Now, I have recorded this time of mercy and know God's hand and so in times of doubt, fear and panic I will read this post and say "my God is faithful, He will never leave us or forsake us."
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Easter---2013
Easter is here once again. Spring is here. It is a time of renewal, a time to once again be reminded what Jesus did on the cross, He didn't just die. He died with my sins heaped upon him, but not only mine---the sins of everyone in the whole, big world--past, present and future. Jesus took those sins so that I do not receive the punishment that I deserve for my sins and sinful nature. Jesus received my punishment. That truth becomes more real and more poignant as I become older and know Jesus better. However Jesus didn't stay dead---He rose from the dead, not as an apparition, as a human being in the flesh, who could enjoy having a meal with his followers. Afterward He ascended into heaven and is with God the Father. The many truths from the bible that are associated with Jesus' death and resurrection make me beholden to Jesus. Each year Easter brings all these thoughts and truths to the forefront once again.
My friend Nancy sent the following and after you read the whole story of the salesmen think about how Easter reminds us of our need to follow Him and become more like Him.
My friend Nancy sent the following and after you read the whole story of the salesmen think about how Easter reminds us of our need to follow Him and become more like Him.
He told his buddies to go on without him, waved good-bye, told one of them to call his wife when they arrived at their home destination and explain his taking a later flight. Then he returned to the terminal where the apples were all over the terminal floor.
He was glad he did. The 16-year-old girl was totally blind! She was softly crying, tears running down her cheeks in frustration, and at the same time helplessly groping for her spilled produce as the crowd swirled about her; no one stopping and no one to care for her plight.
The salesman knelt on the floor with her, gathered up the apples, put them back on the table and helped organize her display. As he did this, he noticed that many of them had become battered and bruised; these he set aside in another basket.
When he had finished, he pulled out his wallet and said to the girl, "Here, please take this $40 for the damage we did. Are you okay?” She nodded through her tears. He continued on with, "I hope we didn't spoil your day too badly."
As the salesman started to walk away, the bewildered blind girl called out to him, "Mister...." He paused and turned to look back into those blind eyes. She continued, "Are you Jesus?"
He stopped in mid-stride ... and he wondered. He gently went back and said, "No, I am nothing like Jesus - He is good, kind, caring, loving, and would never have bumped into your display in the first place.
"The girl gently nodded: "I only asked because I prayed for Jesus to help me gather the apples. He sent you to help me, so you are like Him - only He knows who will do His will. Thank you for hearing His call, Mister."
Then slowly he made his way to catch the later flight with that question burning and bouncing about in his soul: "Are you Jesus?"
Do people mistake you for Jesus?
That's our destiny, is it not? To be so much like Jesus that people cannot tell the difference as we live and interact with a world that is blind to His love, life and grace.
If we claim to know Him, we should live, walk and act as He would. Knowing Him is more than simply quoting scripture and going to church. It's actually living the Word as life unfolds day to day .
You are the apple of His eye even though you, too, have been bruised by a fall. He stopped what He was doing and picked up you and me on a hill called Calvary and paid in full for our damaged fruit.
Sometimes we just take things for granted, when we really need to be sharing what we know...."Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.
It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections
Friday, March 22, 2013
Double Whammy
Bob left the house this morning in somber acceptance of the day and days ahead. He is back to the chemo regime and knows what the next three weeks will hold. These past weeks have been the worst because on top of the chemo, he got that terrible cold that has been making the rounds everywhere. I have never heard anyone cough so much. For sure no sleeping, (Bob thinks people over rate sleep anyway LOL), and we now have shares in every tissue manufacturer there is, in the western world. HOWEVER.
Bob was at the cancer clinic on Wed. March 20. This was his regular appointment with Dr. Bahlis. We praise God The Father,,,,,, again as He has used these drugs to beat back the cancer again. Halleluja!!! Bob had had a fair number of lesions on different parts of his skeleton at the last PET scan but the scan that was taken a couple of weeks ago--Mar.7??- didn't light up so the active spots of cancer were routed!!!! This is such amazing news, as we were somewhat concerned with the number of cancer spots that Bob had in his body. The doc has decided that Bob will finish 3 more rounds of chemo with all 3 drugs. This will take 3 months---up to summer. For the summer the thinking is that Bob will just have 1 drug for chemo--Revlamid--making the side affects somewhat tolerable and minimal. This will be a maintenance dose, my thinking anyway. Perhaps we will now begin thinking of leaving the city for a road trip??? Some people think that travelling is a given so if it is a given in your life go for it, while you can do it easily. That part of our new normal is not a given, and even knowing that we are not travellers, it still feels constrictive when you know travelling isn't an easy given. Of course, I only need to look at Tim and Barbie and realize that my new normal is easy.
Speaking of Tim, his pressure sore is pretty much all healed---praise God. Once he was put on the list for surgery because the sore wasn't healing, Tim decided he was no longer staying in bed!!! He has been up and doing the computer work for Trans Alta and spending time with the family----away from the bedroom. He is very conscience of tilting time and the sore began to heal. They have begun to tentatively, very tentatively, plan for a holiday using the money from the social that was held a year ago. God is faithful and is doing a work in our family. I need to take that one step farther away and say that God is also working in our Mike and his family.
Over the years many people--well mostly women---"older women!!!!! would be the prayer warriors. They would be in prayer faithfully and earnestly for the church, missionaries, families and situations around the world. They always amazed me and inspired me to be more diligent in prayer. I prayed but not the same as I am moved to pray now. I am thinking, that in my experience, I needed to come to the point that as a woman, wife and mom there was nothing, absolutely nothing I, me, myself could do to fix situations in our family. My doings were totally useless and often negative. That is when my head knowledge of how much God cared became my heart knowledge. I opened my hurts, cares, fears and everything I am and have to the Lord and asked Him to care for them. I pray somewhat differently always acknowledging that only God has any power to care for my family. I also concede that God does all things in His way and in His time. He didn't need me to help Him do His work. Prayer is so important and so freeing, I trust that now as an "older woman" I will honor God by being willing to pray for others. It has meant stepping back and allowing God to step forward into my life and the lives of those I love.
Bob was at the cancer clinic on Wed. March 20. This was his regular appointment with Dr. Bahlis. We praise God The Father,,,,,, again as He has used these drugs to beat back the cancer again. Halleluja!!! Bob had had a fair number of lesions on different parts of his skeleton at the last PET scan but the scan that was taken a couple of weeks ago--Mar.7??- didn't light up so the active spots of cancer were routed!!!! This is such amazing news, as we were somewhat concerned with the number of cancer spots that Bob had in his body. The doc has decided that Bob will finish 3 more rounds of chemo with all 3 drugs. This will take 3 months---up to summer. For the summer the thinking is that Bob will just have 1 drug for chemo--Revlamid--making the side affects somewhat tolerable and minimal. This will be a maintenance dose, my thinking anyway. Perhaps we will now begin thinking of leaving the city for a road trip??? Some people think that travelling is a given so if it is a given in your life go for it, while you can do it easily. That part of our new normal is not a given, and even knowing that we are not travellers, it still feels constrictive when you know travelling isn't an easy given. Of course, I only need to look at Tim and Barbie and realize that my new normal is easy.
Speaking of Tim, his pressure sore is pretty much all healed---praise God. Once he was put on the list for surgery because the sore wasn't healing, Tim decided he was no longer staying in bed!!! He has been up and doing the computer work for Trans Alta and spending time with the family----away from the bedroom. He is very conscience of tilting time and the sore began to heal. They have begun to tentatively, very tentatively, plan for a holiday using the money from the social that was held a year ago. God is faithful and is doing a work in our family. I need to take that one step farther away and say that God is also working in our Mike and his family.
Over the years many people--well mostly women---"older women!!!!! would be the prayer warriors. They would be in prayer faithfully and earnestly for the church, missionaries, families and situations around the world. They always amazed me and inspired me to be more diligent in prayer. I prayed but not the same as I am moved to pray now. I am thinking, that in my experience, I needed to come to the point that as a woman, wife and mom there was nothing, absolutely nothing I, me, myself could do to fix situations in our family. My doings were totally useless and often negative. That is when my head knowledge of how much God cared became my heart knowledge. I opened my hurts, cares, fears and everything I am and have to the Lord and asked Him to care for them. I pray somewhat differently always acknowledging that only God has any power to care for my family. I also concede that God does all things in His way and in His time. He didn't need me to help Him do His work. Prayer is so important and so freeing, I trust that now as an "older woman" I will honor God by being willing to pray for others. It has meant stepping back and allowing God to step forward into my life and the lives of those I love.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
A trip = a change
Bob has now been off of chemo for a whole week. It is so great to see him become himself again. The only side affect that we can "see" and put a finger on is the neuropathy. Bob's right leg is affected the most and he can feel (sense) that a lot. Not sure if all that nerve damage will or can repair itself. His walking is generally pretty good. It gets even better the more days he is away from the chemo.
Case in point: while we were in Niagra Falls we decided to walk that walkway along the river and falls. I am thinking that it would be at least a kilometer one way. That was pretty brave of us considering we haven't done much walking at home, mostly because of the ice everywhere as winter melts away and then freezes again. The day at the Falls was below freezing and windy. We have learned that to do this walk in the winter wear rubber boots--the warm ones, wear wind pants, a nylon type jacket with a hood and nylon covered mitts. A wool jacket quickly smells like a sheep, leather shoes are soon white from the salt slurry that is everywhere, a toque or hat becomes wet and mittens don't keep the wind out!!!! Even so, Bob and I had so much fun being out there. It was raining for a ways as the mist from the falls comes down like rain fall. Yet, we could see that things would get better as the folks returning from the far end were carrying Tim Horton cups.....and yes there was a Tim Horton's so we had hot chocolate and a sit down before we started back. We had tried walking on the warmer side of the street.........across the road from the falls walkway but sheesh the cars just had no sense of dignity and splashed the sloppy road slush up on to the sidewalk. There were so many people out on that walkway that one could almost think it was summer. We could hear a rather large number of languages.....couldn't place very many tho. In Bob's wisdom and from our experiences Bob thought that these folks made Canada their vacation destination in the winter because well.......it is winter.... and the rates to travel here may be less in the "off" season. 'Course they could all be going out west to ski!!! There was lots of ice especially along the American falls and in the river---no Maid of the Mist for sure. We had never been to the falls in the winter and we now can say that the falls has its own breath taking beauty in every season.
Bob very quickly got back into the rhythm of returning to chemo, doctors and needles. The day after we came home from Niagra Falls, Bob saw the oncologist. Dr. Bahlis was pleased with the numbers from the blood tests done earlier in the day. He is going to set up a PET scan to see what has happened to the cancer lesions. The best part is that Bob will only have to go to the hospital once a week--on Fridays for the velcade injection. Friday will also be the day that Bob will take the dex. The revlamid continues every day. Only the rotation changes---3 weeks of chemo and one off. Bob was so thrilled that he got feeling so well while we were away that he is encouraged that he won't be feeling so horrible---always -----that he can get to a point of wellness again and with that thought he can continue with the chemo. So far so good with the reactions this time around, not as debilitating as 2 weeks ago.
Have to say that our trip to Niagra Falls was very good in all respects. We celebrated Bob's dad's 90th birthday. Dad and Reta are both very well and look great. We got to spend time with Bob's brother, Gerry and his wife Claire who came from Manitoba. So glad that we all came the week after the BIG party as the week before was the snow storm that closed the airports and delayed flights into Toronto and Hamilton. We also got to reconnect with lots of family on a couple of different days as they came to dad and Reta's home.
A Joshua Liebman is quoted as saying: "Treasure each other in the recognition that we do not know how long we shall have each other."
Case in point: while we were in Niagra Falls we decided to walk that walkway along the river and falls. I am thinking that it would be at least a kilometer one way. That was pretty brave of us considering we haven't done much walking at home, mostly because of the ice everywhere as winter melts away and then freezes again. The day at the Falls was below freezing and windy. We have learned that to do this walk in the winter wear rubber boots--the warm ones, wear wind pants, a nylon type jacket with a hood and nylon covered mitts. A wool jacket quickly smells like a sheep, leather shoes are soon white from the salt slurry that is everywhere, a toque or hat becomes wet and mittens don't keep the wind out!!!! Even so, Bob and I had so much fun being out there. It was raining for a ways as the mist from the falls comes down like rain fall. Yet, we could see that things would get better as the folks returning from the far end were carrying Tim Horton cups.....and yes there was a Tim Horton's so we had hot chocolate and a sit down before we started back. We had tried walking on the warmer side of the street.........across the road from the falls walkway but sheesh the cars just had no sense of dignity and splashed the sloppy road slush up on to the sidewalk. There were so many people out on that walkway that one could almost think it was summer. We could hear a rather large number of languages.....couldn't place very many tho. In Bob's wisdom and from our experiences Bob thought that these folks made Canada their vacation destination in the winter because well.......it is winter.... and the rates to travel here may be less in the "off" season. 'Course they could all be going out west to ski!!! There was lots of ice especially along the American falls and in the river---no Maid of the Mist for sure. We had never been to the falls in the winter and we now can say that the falls has its own breath taking beauty in every season.
Bob very quickly got back into the rhythm of returning to chemo, doctors and needles. The day after we came home from Niagra Falls, Bob saw the oncologist. Dr. Bahlis was pleased with the numbers from the blood tests done earlier in the day. He is going to set up a PET scan to see what has happened to the cancer lesions. The best part is that Bob will only have to go to the hospital once a week--on Fridays for the velcade injection. Friday will also be the day that Bob will take the dex. The revlamid continues every day. Only the rotation changes---3 weeks of chemo and one off. Bob was so thrilled that he got feeling so well while we were away that he is encouraged that he won't be feeling so horrible---always -----that he can get to a point of wellness again and with that thought he can continue with the chemo. So far so good with the reactions this time around, not as debilitating as 2 weeks ago.
Have to say that our trip to Niagra Falls was very good in all respects. We celebrated Bob's dad's 90th birthday. Dad and Reta are both very well and look great. We got to spend time with Bob's brother, Gerry and his wife Claire who came from Manitoba. So glad that we all came the week after the BIG party as the week before was the snow storm that closed the airports and delayed flights into Toronto and Hamilton. We also got to reconnect with lots of family on a couple of different days as they came to dad and Reta's home.
A Joshua Liebman is quoted as saying: "Treasure each other in the recognition that we do not know how long we shall have each other."
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Working Drugs
Bob and I totally know that many prayers have been offered up for Bob and God has been gracious the first week of this round. The treatments and side affects have been so much better and we are truly grateful.
Being tired now is a biggie for Bob. Bob's blood pressure is low --for him and he has been dizzy. He also has a sense of not feeling well altho he is still eating reasonably well and so we are once again slipping into another new normal accepting and fighting the best we know how.
There was a huge reality check tho, as the face of the multiple myeloma support group and the fund raising for multiple myeloma, has passed away. Carol Westberg was 58 years old. She had been diagnosed only 8 years ago. Carol was a fierce warrior with a desire to bring a greater awareness of this cancer to the general public. Carol's death will have a huge impact on the multiple myeloma community.
The reality of the cancer makes us more aware of life and love.
It is now Tues the 5th and Bob is over at Tom Baker for the blood work and the chemo injection. About an hour ago he sent an email but I wasn't near the computer. I wonder if Bob thinks I sit and monitor emails and FB and Pintrest ALL day!!!! He phoned..............I usually answer the phone unless they are those weird numbers that never leave a message. Should you have a weird number and I don't answer make sure you leave a message.
Sooooo I talked with Bob and we are so very excited and so very thankful, grateful and blessed. Bob was waiting down by the lab when Dr. Bahlis came along and asked how he was doing. Totally amazes me that the doc knows who Bob is, and his case, as Bob is only 1 in a sea of cancer patients that come and go out of those waiting areas. Bob told the doc about all the side affects he is struggling with and that he really didn't like this drug. Bob was told that the side affects were pretty normal. REALLY!!!!! there are sure a lot of people around who not only have cancer but struggle horribly with the meds.
Then the doc said "oh you won't know this yet, your numbers have come way down again--where we wanted to see them", SO I am thinking that the Kappa/lambda protein ratio must be down as that was the only blood marker that was way up. Dr. Bahlis then said that for the next round, which will begin in 2 weeks, Bob may only have to have the Velcade once a week rather than the twice a week injection. The other two Drugs the Revlamid and Dex will stay the same for now.
We are so grateful for the many people who are praying for Bob and I. So thankful that God is choosing to help abate the cancer and to grow us.
Being tired now is a biggie for Bob. Bob's blood pressure is low --for him and he has been dizzy. He also has a sense of not feeling well altho he is still eating reasonably well and so we are once again slipping into another new normal accepting and fighting the best we know how.
There was a huge reality check tho, as the face of the multiple myeloma support group and the fund raising for multiple myeloma, has passed away. Carol Westberg was 58 years old. She had been diagnosed only 8 years ago. Carol was a fierce warrior with a desire to bring a greater awareness of this cancer to the general public. Carol's death will have a huge impact on the multiple myeloma community.
The reality of the cancer makes us more aware of life and love.
It is now Tues the 5th and Bob is over at Tom Baker for the blood work and the chemo injection. About an hour ago he sent an email but I wasn't near the computer. I wonder if Bob thinks I sit and monitor emails and FB and Pintrest ALL day!!!! He phoned..............I usually answer the phone unless they are those weird numbers that never leave a message. Should you have a weird number and I don't answer make sure you leave a message.
Sooooo I talked with Bob and we are so very excited and so very thankful, grateful and blessed. Bob was waiting down by the lab when Dr. Bahlis came along and asked how he was doing. Totally amazes me that the doc knows who Bob is, and his case, as Bob is only 1 in a sea of cancer patients that come and go out of those waiting areas. Bob told the doc about all the side affects he is struggling with and that he really didn't like this drug. Bob was told that the side affects were pretty normal. REALLY!!!!! there are sure a lot of people around who not only have cancer but struggle horribly with the meds.
Then the doc said "oh you won't know this yet, your numbers have come way down again--where we wanted to see them", SO I am thinking that the Kappa/lambda protein ratio must be down as that was the only blood marker that was way up. Dr. Bahlis then said that for the next round, which will begin in 2 weeks, Bob may only have to have the Velcade once a week rather than the twice a week injection. The other two Drugs the Revlamid and Dex will stay the same for now.
We are so grateful for the many people who are praying for Bob and I. So thankful that God is choosing to help abate the cancer and to grow us.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Please Proceed............Again
What a nice week we enjoyed this past week. I am not sure what made it special but I am thinking that it was the lifting of a fog or the lifting of a tension or urgency that surrounded us for the previous two weeks. Bob felt good, altho by Sunday night and last night (Mon) the pain in the bones was returning esp in bed--must be the pressure when he lies down on the places where the cancer has shown itself. Aside from that we relaxed and enjoyed life more sans the body and mental tension.
Bob is working on a glass project and spent time on that--re designing, changing, going back to the glass store for another/ different piece of glass. Bob deals at Rubyiat Stained Glass Store. They are more of a restorative, commissioned place and should you ever have the need to see some amazing pieces in progress that is the place to go. PLUS the new west LRT runs right by it-----at the way up high in the sky part. We plan to take that western LRT ride very soon.
We went out for dinner at the Bolero restaurant with three other couples and truly did enjoy the evening. The restaurant is something we hadn't experienced before. I believe it is Brazilian. You help yourself to a salad bar, to dishes I was only vaguely familiar with but they were very tasty. The main course (read: meats) is all cooked and served on swords. The waiters come back and forth to your table and cut pieces off of what ever is on the sword--chicken, lamb, fish, several kinds of beef (always rare--yuk), pork and on and on---17 different swords each different. The whole meal is an explosion of many flavors but not overly spicy. It was fun just to experience something different. Bob's boss picked up the tab so that made the whole experience very sweet---just like the roasted pineapple. Thanks NJ.
We also had Tim and Barbie's kids over one night. They are sure great kids. Bob spent a lot of time with Colton. Colton is driving so he was grandpa's chauffeur for a couple of days. That way there were actual destinations to get to and not "turn left, turn right, ok turn left again". At the end of April Colton will be 16 yikes..........................It was a good week.
Proceed----Bob has left to do a couple of errands for work and then on to Tom Baker Cancer Center. Proceeding to the lab and then to the waiting room and then to have the chemo. He has the anti nausea meds with him so I am sure that they will continue to work. Proceed home. This time we have an idea of what to expect but our life now slows down (as if...it was set on the rabbit!!!). Looking forward to these two weeks not being as daunting as last time. I have a hard time keeping all the appointments and times straight. Bob manages "because he has a Blackberry". But I ask you; who will remind you to put a hat on, take water, and say I love you------no Blackberry I've seen.
The friend who sent me this quote begins chemo this week for breast cancer. Keep the faith Nancy!!!
"To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God."
The friend who sent me this quote begins chemo this week for breast cancer. Keep the faith Nancy!!!
"To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God."
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
See-saw
Yesterday, Monday the 21st of Jan. turned out to be a sun shiny day!! That song from long ago popped into my head......
the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way, here is that rainbow I've been praying for-----it's going to be a bright sunshiny day
I think that Bob Marley did the song but I am not really a music guru and really---who cares who did the song?
We weren't sure what the visit to the oncologist would bring after the two low weeks, feeling that the cancer was getting away on Bob and that some days with all the side affects it was looking rather bleak.
First good sign: - we were ushered from the waiting area into the "doctor's room" in rather quicker time than usual, second sign-no Dr. Bahlis, but in came Dr. Neri, that is really encouraging!!!!....YES, Starting to feel like we are on our way up.
Dr. Neri went over the blood work which is all pretty much in the normal range. The bone marrow biopsy showed only 3% myeloma cells. Donna, (my sister) told me that the docs don't diagnose multiple myeloma until there is at least 10% myeloma cells in the biopsy. The Dr. then went to the PET and MRI scans and they show the number of lesions (or cancer spots). Bob has them on his shoulder, lumbar region, plus higher on the spine plus the pelvis. The doc also did PSA test to check if cancer was coming from the prostate---no that was good. Now the doc has a new base line and will need to rely on the visual scans to see what is happening with the cancer as the blood does not show the extent of the cancer. She (Dr. Neri) told Bob, once again, that he is not typical and the cancer does not present itself typically. Bob will now do 3 more cycles of 2 weeks on, 1 week off of chemo before the tests are all redone. At that point they want to see if the chemo has changed the lesions---as in gone or diminished. At that point any course change will take place or if things have gone well Bob will continue on with this regime. All the side affects were normal even if they were scary to us, Bob is not crazy, this stuff, the side affects, is what happens on these drugs phweeee that was a relief. Dr. Neri was very positive and made us feel like hey all is well. Up, up we were going. Our trip is a go. Bob will miss a visit with the oncologist but back right in time to start another new week so as it turns out we are gone over the off days!!!!!
We came from the bottom to the top of the see saw on a bright shiny day ----a real shiny day, which has been a rarity in Calgary these days.
Thank you, once again, to God the Father who answers the prayers from so many.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Family
Saturday again, the weeks really do march along quickly the older we get.
I know that people must have prayed for Bob this week,as the side affects were not as bad as last week. Thank you, Lord, for answered prayer. Bob is sleeping now, I can tell by the snoring coming from the next room. That is ok since he really does miss out on sleep on a lot of the nights. It is ok, too, because Mike and Cori and the kids are in town for the weekend and are coming to our house for supper. Bob needs to sleep before we have company. Tim and Barbie and the kids will come for dessert. It makes me so pleased to have both of my kids and their families around. That also makes Bob happy, actually brings him to tears. Families are such a challenging blessing.
The appointment with the oncologist is on Mon. but the week off of chemo starts on Tues. I can see the effect of the dexamethazone already. Bob is loosing muscle fast. Hate that look. We are both looking forward to the week off and trusting that there won't be any added appointments. This week Bob had both a PET scan and an MRI plus he was to the lab 2x so there should be some results in on Mon.
Bob has kept up a decent work schedule, as well. We can't say often enough how grateful we are for the company he works for. Some of the side affects may cause Bob to think about going on disability but he is determined to stay as long as he is able. The folks he works along side are being great as well.
I have to say that Bob also drove himself where he needed to be this week. As my sister would say: "of course he did".
Continuing to continue on, one day at a time.
I know that people must have prayed for Bob this week,as the side affects were not as bad as last week. Thank you, Lord, for answered prayer. Bob is sleeping now, I can tell by the snoring coming from the next room. That is ok since he really does miss out on sleep on a lot of the nights. It is ok, too, because Mike and Cori and the kids are in town for the weekend and are coming to our house for supper. Bob needs to sleep before we have company. Tim and Barbie and the kids will come for dessert. It makes me so pleased to have both of my kids and their families around. That also makes Bob happy, actually brings him to tears. Families are such a challenging blessing.
The appointment with the oncologist is on Mon. but the week off of chemo starts on Tues. I can see the effect of the dexamethazone already. Bob is loosing muscle fast. Hate that look. We are both looking forward to the week off and trusting that there won't be any added appointments. This week Bob had both a PET scan and an MRI plus he was to the lab 2x so there should be some results in on Mon.
Bob has kept up a decent work schedule, as well. We can't say often enough how grateful we are for the company he works for. Some of the side affects may cause Bob to think about going on disability but he is determined to stay as long as he is able. The folks he works along side are being great as well.
I have to say that Bob also drove himself where he needed to be this week. As my sister would say: "of course he did".
Continuing to continue on, one day at a time.
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Reality
Here we are on a Saturday afternoon, one day after the first week of the new treatment for Bob's myeloma.
Honestly, cancer sucks the life out of you. Maybe that is wrong!!!!, maybe it is the drugs that kill the cancer that sucks the life out of you. Either way the fight is hard. It is hard on Bob and it is also hard on me and our family. The Lord is so gracious to us and so caring so I really do hate to complain but sheeeesh this is tough.
Even as I have written that grumbling, what comes to mind is that all of this has passed through my Father's Hands and He knows and He understands; me, Bob and each of our kids and grandkids.
Have you ever received a book as a gift and didn't really read it just kinda flipped through it? I received a book a few years back from one of my first friends, here in Calgary, Becky. The book is by Charles Swindoll, entitled encouragement for life words of hope and inspiration. I am trying to stream line my book library and happened upon this small book. The Lord saved it for such a time as this---when words of hope would be needed for an answer to new worries, new hurts, new anger.
Bob is sleeping, or maybe reading again. He tells me he feels so beaten up today. The side affect that he had yesterday evening was the first like this and was scary. Bob got really cold--- that is not new, so he wrapped up in blankets as we watched a movie. Then it became more like chills and then the shaking began. We did the electric blanket in bed, added another comforter and finally it stopped. It is on the list of side effects ---- only call if the fever lasts???? A lady from our church who has a brother with this same cancer said to me one day that her brother remarked that "he didn't get a chance to grow old, he just got old". That thought has haunted me in the back of my mind for months and I fear that it could be true. As I sit and write this out in my melancholy I am mostly doing it for me so take it as an insight into our life--nothing that can be fixed,--something that has to be worked through---- first in the mind and then in life.
Becky, my friend, has moved away to another city but I have the book and the comfort from the words that Swindoll wrote about my Father:
"When we are suffering, only Christ's perspective can replace our resentment with rejoicing. I've see it happen in hospital rooms. I've seen it happen in families. I've seen it happen in my own life.
Our whole perspective changes when we catch a glimpse of the purpose of Christ in it all. Take that away, and it's nothing more than a terrible bitter experience...................................only Christ's perspective can replace our resentment with rejoicing. Jesus is the central piece of suffering's puzzle. If we fit Him into place, the rest of the puzzle----no matter how complex and enigmatic--begins to make sense."
Honestly, cancer sucks the life out of you. Maybe that is wrong!!!!, maybe it is the drugs that kill the cancer that sucks the life out of you. Either way the fight is hard. It is hard on Bob and it is also hard on me and our family. The Lord is so gracious to us and so caring so I really do hate to complain but sheeeesh this is tough.
Even as I have written that grumbling, what comes to mind is that all of this has passed through my Father's Hands and He knows and He understands; me, Bob and each of our kids and grandkids.
Have you ever received a book as a gift and didn't really read it just kinda flipped through it? I received a book a few years back from one of my first friends, here in Calgary, Becky. The book is by Charles Swindoll, entitled encouragement for life words of hope and inspiration. I am trying to stream line my book library and happened upon this small book. The Lord saved it for such a time as this---when words of hope would be needed for an answer to new worries, new hurts, new anger.
Bob is sleeping, or maybe reading again. He tells me he feels so beaten up today. The side affect that he had yesterday evening was the first like this and was scary. Bob got really cold--- that is not new, so he wrapped up in blankets as we watched a movie. Then it became more like chills and then the shaking began. We did the electric blanket in bed, added another comforter and finally it stopped. It is on the list of side effects ---- only call if the fever lasts???? A lady from our church who has a brother with this same cancer said to me one day that her brother remarked that "he didn't get a chance to grow old, he just got old". That thought has haunted me in the back of my mind for months and I fear that it could be true. As I sit and write this out in my melancholy I am mostly doing it for me so take it as an insight into our life--nothing that can be fixed,--something that has to be worked through---- first in the mind and then in life.
Becky, my friend, has moved away to another city but I have the book and the comfort from the words that Swindoll wrote about my Father:
"When we are suffering, only Christ's perspective can replace our resentment with rejoicing. I've see it happen in hospital rooms. I've seen it happen in families. I've seen it happen in my own life.
Our whole perspective changes when we catch a glimpse of the purpose of Christ in it all. Take that away, and it's nothing more than a terrible bitter experience...................................only Christ's perspective can replace our resentment with rejoicing. Jesus is the central piece of suffering's puzzle. If we fit Him into place, the rest of the puzzle----no matter how complex and enigmatic--begins to make sense."
my grace is sufficient
for you, for power is
perfected in weakness.
2Cor. 12:9
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Day One of Day One
Monday the 7th seemed to be a very long day with a sense of?? anticipation, hesitation, dread, the unknown. Perhaps all of the above. This was the day before Bob's first round of a "new", or rather a different, for Bob, cancer regime for the multiple myeloma.
We had been made aware of the possible side affects of the new drug combined with the two Bob was already receiving. We prepared.....buckets in the vehicles with a towel.......check, purchase the drugs for nausea and shingles.......check, have the insulin and"pokers" ready.......check, snacks for the night, along with lots of liquid.........check, ask our small group, friends and relatives to pray........check. We were ready.
The new drug is given by IV so that requires set up but the actual "receiving" of the drug only takes a couple of minutes. Before this Bob took the anti nausea tablet and received the other meds. What we were concerned about was the dex as it 3x what he was on. This is the cannabolic steroid----makes Bob hyper, diabetic (for a couple of days), and does not allow sleeping.
Thanks to the prayers of so many for the first day of this regime, all was well. Bob did not get sick, he slept for a few hours and the blood sugar never went over 18. We even went to our Tues. night small group and had a very special time with those folks. The biggest step is that Bob went to work today. The day was fine for him--some pain but he took meds at noon and is good. He would really like to be able to work through this if possible so we will see once these 2 weeks are done. Bob's supervisor and the HR person seem to be willing to try and make it happen. Tough call though, as we are looking at about 6 months of this routine.
I have relaxed, and all is good. Bob is calm and all is good.
Our Father God is loving and caring and we are grateful that He has answered prayer.
We had been made aware of the possible side affects of the new drug combined with the two Bob was already receiving. We prepared.....buckets in the vehicles with a towel.......check, purchase the drugs for nausea and shingles.......check, have the insulin and"pokers" ready.......check, snacks for the night, along with lots of liquid.........check, ask our small group, friends and relatives to pray........check. We were ready.
The new drug is given by IV so that requires set up but the actual "receiving" of the drug only takes a couple of minutes. Before this Bob took the anti nausea tablet and received the other meds. What we were concerned about was the dex as it 3x what he was on. This is the cannabolic steroid----makes Bob hyper, diabetic (for a couple of days), and does not allow sleeping.
Thanks to the prayers of so many for the first day of this regime, all was well. Bob did not get sick, he slept for a few hours and the blood sugar never went over 18. We even went to our Tues. night small group and had a very special time with those folks. The biggest step is that Bob went to work today. The day was fine for him--some pain but he took meds at noon and is good. He would really like to be able to work through this if possible so we will see once these 2 weeks are done. Bob's supervisor and the HR person seem to be willing to try and make it happen. Tough call though, as we are looking at about 6 months of this routine.
I have relaxed, and all is good. Bob is calm and all is good.
Our Father God is loving and caring and we are grateful that He has answered prayer.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
On the road again
My dear husband is very unique in himself. No one has his sense of humor, his kind heart, his compassion, his empathy, his generosity or the love Bob has for the people in our family. We should not have been surprised when once again the doctor said that Bob's cancer does not present itself in the usual way. After all he is a unique individual!!!!!! What this means is that the myeloma cells are once again doing their thing--no longer under control.
The pain has once again proven to be the clue that there is more going on than pain. Bob has myeloma showing on several ribs, on the pelvis and several areas of the spine and we are also thinking shoulder(because of pain). Dr. Bahlis was quick to formulate a plan. We knew that Bob was in trouble when Dr. Bahlis, himself, came into the appointment rather than the resident doctor. The drug combo of the past four years is no longer working. On Tues. Jan. 8, Bob will begin a new cocktail that we are trusting, the Lord will use to once again arrest the cancer. This attack, from how we see it before beginning, will be tougher both physically on Bob and perhaps emotionally as well. Bob continues on the revlimid and dexamethazone and adds in velcade. This could prove to be really challenging --- in the side affect area. It may also prove challenging as to receiving the meds and doing all the lab work involved re: the blood sugar spikes and the affect on the INR----blood clotting or not clotting. The velcade is an injection to be received at the hospital, 2x a week, 72 hours apart, not sure how the other 2 will be dispensed this time. This will be a 2 week on, 1 week off cycle, seeing Dr. Bahlis on the week off. Makes me tired reading about it!!!!!!!!!
Bob is planning to continue working---through one cycle, to see if it is possible. Then we will make appropriate decisions. Our grandson, Colton, is finished exams and will be on semester break from Jan17-Jan. 31 and is driving towards getting his driver's license so he may do some of the driving and waiting. We will see how Bob does at the first treatments.
Bob also has an MRI scheduled on Jan. 10 and a PET on the 17th.
Please pray that the chemo will be effective in stopping the myeloma. Please pray that the side affects will be VERY minimal. Please pray that both of us will practice grace.
The pain has once again proven to be the clue that there is more going on than pain. Bob has myeloma showing on several ribs, on the pelvis and several areas of the spine and we are also thinking shoulder(because of pain). Dr. Bahlis was quick to formulate a plan. We knew that Bob was in trouble when Dr. Bahlis, himself, came into the appointment rather than the resident doctor. The drug combo of the past four years is no longer working. On Tues. Jan. 8, Bob will begin a new cocktail that we are trusting, the Lord will use to once again arrest the cancer. This attack, from how we see it before beginning, will be tougher both physically on Bob and perhaps emotionally as well. Bob continues on the revlimid and dexamethazone and adds in velcade. This could prove to be really challenging --- in the side affect area. It may also prove challenging as to receiving the meds and doing all the lab work involved re: the blood sugar spikes and the affect on the INR----blood clotting or not clotting. The velcade is an injection to be received at the hospital, 2x a week, 72 hours apart, not sure how the other 2 will be dispensed this time. This will be a 2 week on, 1 week off cycle, seeing Dr. Bahlis on the week off. Makes me tired reading about it!!!!!!!!!
Bob is planning to continue working---through one cycle, to see if it is possible. Then we will make appropriate decisions. Our grandson, Colton, is finished exams and will be on semester break from Jan17-Jan. 31 and is driving towards getting his driver's license so he may do some of the driving and waiting. We will see how Bob does at the first treatments.
Bob also has an MRI scheduled on Jan. 10 and a PET on the 17th.
Please pray that the chemo will be effective in stopping the myeloma. Please pray that the side affects will be VERY minimal. Please pray that both of us will practice grace.
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