This has truly been a rainy summer. Considering Calgary does not generally receive a lot of rain at this time of the year it, is somewhat different. However the abundance of rain seems to be true across the prairies.
We had amazing thunder storms---with rain!!!! I had missed the thunder storms we had in MB. Calgary did not seem to get the types of storms we had in MB. It could be it was easier to see the lightening and hear the thunder away from the city, on the seemingly flat prairie we lived on. However, the rain has made it beautiful. Calgary has never been this green and lush in the eleven years we have lived here.
Yesterday we had Bob's appointment with his oncologist and a chance to see the results of the past months chemo. It could be like hearing the thunder---what we heard seemed much more clear to us.
The tweaking or lowering of the pomalyst last month will once again be tweaked. The dose will go back up again. The dose will go to where it was prior to July when the results were most dramatic.
We had a feeling things were not at the happy dance point again when Dr. Bahlis's wife Dr. Neri was the one to come in. She is the one who comes to help us accept, come to grips with and accept the harder decisions.
The numbers had once again gone up--amazing really, that such a smaller amount of chemo would make such a big difference. Dr. Neri explained that because Bob has had multiple myeloma for a long period and because it is wide spread the daratumumuab was not working as fast or as well as they had expected. We could see the lightening and hear the thunder. Hence the need for the pomolyst. The goal is to get the free chain numbers down as low as possible before any leveling off. The docs want to protect the kidneys from high protein and creatine. Soooooo more work to drop those numbers!!! It seems that eventually the myeloma makes its way to organs and begins to destroy them too. The kidneys seems to be the organ of choice to begin with. What we heard is: that as much as we are looking to find some relief from this cancer and some semblence of normal (for 2 youngish seniors) that is not going to happen. Bob will be dealing with chemo, blood tests, and side affects continuing well into the future. We are hoping that even with all of that it will be many years of future!!!
What we could hear next is: Bob's job, as he left it when disability kicked in, is not going to be there. It cannot be. Bob is tired, dizzy, at odds with side affects, and well, getting plain worn out. How this will end is still up in the air. He wants to feel useful but what that could look like we don't know. Leaving is totally an option just a number of questions to deal with first. The next couple of weeks will tell the tale.
Today, Bob is at the hospital to receive chemo and then again in two weeks. Then all the tests and another oncologist meeting. Ohhhh that takes us to another month---September, yikes.
Trusting that we will be able to discern what path the Lord has for our lives.
Psalm 3:5&6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
I need to claim that anew and hang on amidst the thunder and lightening.
