On December 24, 2018 Bob finished his journey on earth. On Christmas Eve Bob went to spend his first Christmas in Heaven with Jesus. The first one for an eternity. Those days are a blur for me.
On Jan.5, 2019 we had a celebration honouring Bob at our church. It was lovely. Our family is grateful to all the folks who took part in the service to honour Bob. He was honoured through the kind words and the wonderful music that we heard that day. We are humbled and thankful for each and every person who took the time to come and be with us on that Saturday, as we said our formal good byes to a very special man.
Bob was the biggest and most meaningful part of my life since I was 15 years old. He was an amazing friend, he loved me unconditionally, treated me with the utmost respect, always cared for and protected me. Someone remarked that I was a princess. Bob made me feel very special, always.
I miss him so much. I am not sure how to live life without him. I want Bob to be proud of how I will finish life, so I am determined to trust God to show me the way, when there seems to be no way. My grief is so raw that it hurts. There are many good days already, but the loneliness is often unbearable.
Today, March 23 Bob would have celebrated his 70th birthday. This weekend our family will be remembering their dad, their grandpa and my husband as we celebrate his birthday. Bob will be with his mom and dad in heaven, together again. That is the assurance each of us have, once we have accepted Jesus as our Saviour, that we shall see our loved ones again, in heaven.
I can only imagine what a wonderful place my Bob is in. So very thankful the painful, debilitating cancer journey is done and Bob is healed for ever. Altho my tears still fall I will see him again.
Saturday, March 23, 2019
Friday, November 30, 2018
HOSPICE
The last day of November and the world is pretty much dark at 4:30pm. Winter in Canada is cold, dark and makes me weary. That is not only winter, but is also how I feel in my daily life: cold, dark and weary. Bob has been in hospice two days and one night.
The idea of Bob, perhaps, having to go to hospice was something we had talked about. My desire had been to have him at home until he went to be with Jesus. Sadly that was not to be. Bob was loosing the strength in his body. His legs would just give out on him. Bob had fallen a fair number of times and thankfully was never hurt badly. We learned how to navigate in different ways together, then with a walker and then a wheelchair. The day we were walking together ( I had learned how to have a good position and a good hold on him) we both went down together. Fortunately neither of us were hurt and we did laugh but that sealed the decision. Bob transitioned to a hospice. It is a nice facility with kind, helpful people but it is not the same as home. It is tough not to have some guilt, that I failed US. Yet I know that he is safer with showers, going to the washroom etc etc. As the first day unfolded, I felt the tension ebb away from me. I was not responsible to have the pills ready at the right times, have a meal that was edible for Bob, make sure that there was water and all things ready and in place. I was able to be with Bob and love on him with the responsibility left for others. Yet, the evil one pokes away at my guilt about the responsibility that I gave up. Pray that I will stand against it because Jesus is my all in all.
Bob is weary and if we are alone he will sleep for a good percentage of the day and night. His appetite is not great and he doesn't eat very much. We have have talked about going to heaven. However, we are human and the hard part is leaving what we know; family, friends and places. The day we left our condo for the hospice was incredibly difficult for me. I kept thinking that he will not be back, he won't wear those shoes again, he won't use this elevator again, won't drive our vehicle and won't merge onto the Deerfoot again. The reality and sadness of all of that made me incredibly emotional and broken. This cancer journey has been long and often very rough. Pray with me that Bob's journey will end soon and he will be home in heaven, where there is no pain, no sadness, no sorrow, no cancer. Pray that the journey will end with Bob still having a twinkle in his eye, a smile and the ability to talk with us. I love him so.
The idea of Bob, perhaps, having to go to hospice was something we had talked about. My desire had been to have him at home until he went to be with Jesus. Sadly that was not to be. Bob was loosing the strength in his body. His legs would just give out on him. Bob had fallen a fair number of times and thankfully was never hurt badly. We learned how to navigate in different ways together, then with a walker and then a wheelchair. The day we were walking together ( I had learned how to have a good position and a good hold on him) we both went down together. Fortunately neither of us were hurt and we did laugh but that sealed the decision. Bob transitioned to a hospice. It is a nice facility with kind, helpful people but it is not the same as home. It is tough not to have some guilt, that I failed US. Yet I know that he is safer with showers, going to the washroom etc etc. As the first day unfolded, I felt the tension ebb away from me. I was not responsible to have the pills ready at the right times, have a meal that was edible for Bob, make sure that there was water and all things ready and in place. I was able to be with Bob and love on him with the responsibility left for others. Yet, the evil one pokes away at my guilt about the responsibility that I gave up. Pray that I will stand against it because Jesus is my all in all.
Bob is weary and if we are alone he will sleep for a good percentage of the day and night. His appetite is not great and he doesn't eat very much. We have have talked about going to heaven. However, we are human and the hard part is leaving what we know; family, friends and places. The day we left our condo for the hospice was incredibly difficult for me. I kept thinking that he will not be back, he won't wear those shoes again, he won't use this elevator again, won't drive our vehicle and won't merge onto the Deerfoot again. The reality and sadness of all of that made me incredibly emotional and broken. This cancer journey has been long and often very rough. Pray with me that Bob's journey will end soon and he will be home in heaven, where there is no pain, no sadness, no sorrow, no cancer. Pray that the journey will end with Bob still having a twinkle in his eye, a smile and the ability to talk with us. I love him so.
The Lord, My Shepherd
"In Pastures green"?
Not always;Sometimes
He who knowest best,
in kindness leadeth me.
In weary ways, where shadows be.
And by "still waters"?
No, not always so; oftimes
the heavy tempests round me blow,
And o'er my soul the waves and billows go
But when the storm beats loudest,
and I cry aloud for help,
the Master standeth by,
And whispers to my soul, "Lo, it is I"
So where he leads me, I can safely go.
And in the blest hereafter I shall know.
Why, in His wisdom, He hath led me so.
Thursday, November 15, 2018
PUSHING ON in NOVEMBER
Bob has pancreatic cancer and cancer most likely at the top of the large bowel. We didn't know what to do or how to journey on. The myeloma was totally livable so why does Bob have to have another cancer? I have all the accusations and fingers that I was ready to point along with the harshest words I could muster. However Bob says why? We can't change anything and what good would it do? Near the end of Oct. Bob was back in hospital. This time on Unit 47 which is palliative cancer care ward. Here the main objective was still pain control. Bob was in 10 days. When we left we were under the palliative care umbrella. This meant being cut loose from Tom Baker Cancer Care. That was super hard as Bob had been cared for by so many different people and professions for the past ten years. In my mind I could picture an astronaut who is floating outside the space ship on the end of the long air hose. Floating secure in what we know. Then Pftttttt the hose is cut and you are on your own, nothing tangible to hold on to and wanting to be secure and cared for. We do not have a relationship with the pain clinic. Yikes!!!!! We are done with the oncologists. The reality was tough to deal with emotionally.
In come the wonderful nurses of the palliative care team. That is their calling to care for those who have terminal diseases or any other terminal situations. It took me a while to be trusting and all in. They come with computers logged in to history along with anything new done by our family doctor. Our family doc is now the go to for everything. The nurses have stethoscopes, bandages, creams, etc, etc. They are well prepared and they come to us!!!!! They spend time, at least an hour each visit. Our nurse comes once a week but if needed would come more often. They are on call 24/7 even on Christmas!!! There is also a palliative doctor on call 24/7. This group of nurses have truly proven themselves trustworthy and efficient. Our regular nurse is Terri and she is impressive.
The pain Bob has is pretty much well controlled. He is on methadone with hydromorphon for break thru. Bob is sleeping pretty much all the time. He still easily walks around the condo. He uses a walker for longer stints and often in the condo as well. He is still showering on his own and uses a bath chair. The idea of home care coming in to help him hasn't yet found a positive response. Sadly Bob is eating very little but will drink Boost or Ensure.
Today we had a visit with our family doc to get all of Bob's prescriptions renewed. The methadone has to come from the palliative doctor. Anyhow Dr. G gave Bob 3 months supply. Now that was hopeful and encouraging!!!!!!!
Corinthians 13:7 "Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance".
In come the wonderful nurses of the palliative care team. That is their calling to care for those who have terminal diseases or any other terminal situations. It took me a while to be trusting and all in. They come with computers logged in to history along with anything new done by our family doctor. Our family doc is now the go to for everything. The nurses have stethoscopes, bandages, creams, etc, etc. They are well prepared and they come to us!!!!! They spend time, at least an hour each visit. Our nurse comes once a week but if needed would come more often. They are on call 24/7 even on Christmas!!! There is also a palliative doctor on call 24/7. This group of nurses have truly proven themselves trustworthy and efficient. Our regular nurse is Terri and she is impressive.
The pain Bob has is pretty much well controlled. He is on methadone with hydromorphon for break thru. Bob is sleeping pretty much all the time. He still easily walks around the condo. He uses a walker for longer stints and often in the condo as well. He is still showering on his own and uses a bath chair. The idea of home care coming in to help him hasn't yet found a positive response. Sadly Bob is eating very little but will drink Boost or Ensure.
Today we had a visit with our family doc to get all of Bob's prescriptions renewed. The methadone has to come from the palliative doctor. Anyhow Dr. G gave Bob 3 months supply. Now that was hopeful and encouraging!!!!!!!
Corinthians 13:7 "Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance".
Wednesday, September 26, 2018
WAITING WAITING
The last couple of months seem long as I was wanting to share but waiting until we had answers or news. Right now it seems like I would prefer the waiting.
We do have some of the answers to the pain Bob is having, which has been getting worse at an increasing speed. We doctored a fair bit over the pain Bob was having. Drugs for the stomach, a cortisone shot in his shoulder, increased morphine but nothing seemed to help. The oncologist had a difficult time with the pain since the multiple myeloma was not active and there were no new lesions on the skeleton. He told us that if the pain was more than Bob could bear to come to emergency at Foothills. Dr. B had made urgent requests for scopes--top and bottom as well as an ultra sound and a MRI. These appointments were still 2 weeks and more away. We called and told Dr. B we were coming and he called down to emerg to have them watch for Bob. Once you are admitted as a patient these tests come very quickly. Bob stayed in hospital on the medical oncology ward for five days.
Bob had a biopsy done on the pancreas after some of the testing showed cysts and folds on the pancreas, and not sure how they see in. Maybe shadows?? We went home and had to wait to hear the results. We received preliminary results but our oncologist was determined to not say anything conclusive until the pathology came in. On Sept 21, Dr. B. called late in the afternoon to tell us there is a malignant mass in the pancreas. He is not calling it pancreatic cancer since the biopsy sample was small???? Since then we have learnt a few more things, that at this point are not substantiated.
I have to say the weekend was tough. Trying to get our heads around this news and Bob still having pain and trying to work things out with the folks at the pain clinic.
It's alright-------questions, pain and stabbing anger can be poured out to
the Infinite One and He will not be damaged.
Our wounded ragings will be lost in Him and we will be found.
For we beat on His chest from within the circle of His arms.
from a little book entitled When Life Takes what Matters by Susan Lenzkes
Tomorrow Sept. 27 we head back to Tom Baker to see a, new to us, doctor, Dr. Sutherland. This is for a consultation. What or if anything can be done? Dr. Bahlis gave this doctor 5stars, Dr. Farrah gave him a thumbs up and Dr. Google was also most positive.
As we talked with Dr. B today he said some extraordinary things. We have to believe that God was saying 'I am here and I am still walking with you." Scripture says: "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you."NLT Dr.Bahlis began to tell us that he prays for us, that no one can understand why these things happen. He told us God cares and one day we will all understand. As the tears rolled down my cheeks he handed me a tissue and he cared. Bob said "that man knows where his Power comes from.'
Waiting to see how the battle will unfold.
We do have some of the answers to the pain Bob is having, which has been getting worse at an increasing speed. We doctored a fair bit over the pain Bob was having. Drugs for the stomach, a cortisone shot in his shoulder, increased morphine but nothing seemed to help. The oncologist had a difficult time with the pain since the multiple myeloma was not active and there were no new lesions on the skeleton. He told us that if the pain was more than Bob could bear to come to emergency at Foothills. Dr. B had made urgent requests for scopes--top and bottom as well as an ultra sound and a MRI. These appointments were still 2 weeks and more away. We called and told Dr. B we were coming and he called down to emerg to have them watch for Bob. Once you are admitted as a patient these tests come very quickly. Bob stayed in hospital on the medical oncology ward for five days.
Bob had a biopsy done on the pancreas after some of the testing showed cysts and folds on the pancreas, and not sure how they see in. Maybe shadows?? We went home and had to wait to hear the results. We received preliminary results but our oncologist was determined to not say anything conclusive until the pathology came in. On Sept 21, Dr. B. called late in the afternoon to tell us there is a malignant mass in the pancreas. He is not calling it pancreatic cancer since the biopsy sample was small???? Since then we have learnt a few more things, that at this point are not substantiated.
I have to say the weekend was tough. Trying to get our heads around this news and Bob still having pain and trying to work things out with the folks at the pain clinic.
It's alright-------questions, pain and stabbing anger can be poured out to
the Infinite One and He will not be damaged.
Our wounded ragings will be lost in Him and we will be found.
For we beat on His chest from within the circle of His arms.
from a little book entitled When Life Takes what Matters by Susan Lenzkes
Tomorrow Sept. 27 we head back to Tom Baker to see a, new to us, doctor, Dr. Sutherland. This is for a consultation. What or if anything can be done? Dr. Bahlis gave this doctor 5stars, Dr. Farrah gave him a thumbs up and Dr. Google was also most positive.
As we talked with Dr. B today he said some extraordinary things. We have to believe that God was saying 'I am here and I am still walking with you." Scripture says: "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you."NLT Dr.Bahlis began to tell us that he prays for us, that no one can understand why these things happen. He told us God cares and one day we will all understand. As the tears rolled down my cheeks he handed me a tissue and he cared. Bob said "that man knows where his Power comes from.'
Waiting to see how the battle will unfold.
Sunday, July 8, 2018
CANCER CARE JULY, 2018
On the 4th of July we made our way to Tom Baker Cancer Centre to see Bob's oncologist.
An aside:
An aside:
Have to say the new parking structure is getting closer to being done. Someone said in the fall yahooo!!! The tension, as the many cars drove round and round and in and out, was sure building that day. Not only mine!!! Soon there will be an uprising of parkees!!! PLUS the new cancer centre is very much under construction. The hole is mega and now concrete is going into that hole. I presume that will be for more PARKING under the new centre.
Our meeting with Dr. B. was once again very encouraging. The cancer marker numbers are great. The protein chain is a bit higher but still amazing. After checking out Bob's shoulder really well, Dr. B did not believe it to be bone pain from the cancer. However Bob had an xray plus an MRI and his yearly PET scan are being ordered. It has come down to thinking that the shoulder pain could be from the way Bob has been using his cane. Now the cane and I are changing sides. Bob is often unsteady on his feet so needs to have the cane but perhaps not lean into it all the time. That has become a habit.
We shall see how changing things up works out. Status quo as far as the chemo continuing. Bob will have an extra week off this time as we take some time away from Calgary. He wont be seeing the oncologist again until the week of Aug. 8.
Generally Bob is feeling not to bad. He is tired and does nap several times through out the day. Bob has low strength but I did notice he was walking much faster the last time we were out. Bob is my super cheerleader as I undertake some new things---again!!!
This update is to say Bob is doing ok and staying positive, as he has always been, throughout this decade. We are grateful of the hope we have through Jesus,that what we see here is not our home. We are being prepared to be home with Jesus. The older we get the more urgent it seems to let people know they need Jesus. You will have nothing to loose and everything to gain.
We shall see how changing things up works out. Status quo as far as the chemo continuing. Bob will have an extra week off this time as we take some time away from Calgary. He wont be seeing the oncologist again until the week of Aug. 8.
Generally Bob is feeling not to bad. He is tired and does nap several times through out the day. Bob has low strength but I did notice he was walking much faster the last time we were out. Bob is my super cheerleader as I undertake some new things---again!!!
This update is to say Bob is doing ok and staying positive, as he has always been, throughout this decade. We are grateful of the hope we have through Jesus,that what we see here is not our home. We are being prepared to be home with Jesus. The older we get the more urgent it seems to let people know they need Jesus. You will have nothing to loose and everything to gain.
Monday, July 2, 2018
JULY 2018
July is a neat month for us. I especially look at July fondly. It is the month in which Bob and I were married. As I think about it we knew so little about planning the event and what went into it!!! We now know that weddings can be made to be so much more meaningful and look so spectacular and exotic and epic!!!! All we knew was that we wanted to be married and be together forever. (Ahhh how romantic) . AND so it happened, planned and directed mostly by others but what did it matter!!! That has now been 48 years ago!!!! We always thought anyone married more than 25 years was elderly, that was of course, until we celebrated our 25th. We moved to Calgary as we celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary. Still so young and totally gungho to be involved with our family here in Calgary and all things Calgary. This was what we dubbed our Freedom 55 year. Anniversary 40 happened several years after Bob's diagnosis of cancer. We were so blessed to celebrate that year. WOW. Each year following has been an exceptional gift to us. No matter what the year held at Tom Baker Cancer Centre we have had July. Here in this month, we are once again those wide eyed young adults stepping into life together. Fearless because we have each other and were totally in love. Since that wedding day we have accepted Jesus into our lives as our personal Savior and have followed Him through reading His Word in the bible and through the teaching of godly men in bible believing churches. We honestly, remind each other that we would not have survived these 48 years of marriage without God in our lives each day. It has been an amazing learning curve to follow Jesus, to trust Him and look to Him each day. Amazing to know the answers to prayer. Prayers large and small. Each of us, with faith in Jesus, know that it is our own personal surrender to Him. Our family does not have eternal life because Bob and I have faith in Jesus. Each of them need to accept faith in Jesus as their own. Where will you spend eternity? I will spend eternity in heaven with Jesus. Bob and I will both be there and no matter how many Julys we celebrate together on earth, eternity is forever. Coming?????
Friday, June 1, 2018
A DECADE=TEN YEARS
Soooo we are into a month of no cancer. This was confirmed by the testing done this past week. The protein free light chain was unchanged. The monoclonal #1 was at .5 a month ago and was not tested or the test had not come back by our May 30 appointment. All the folks we are in contact with at Tom Baker were excited and happy for Bob. I believe that even Dr. B is in awe of this. He won't call it remission until several more months have passed. One thing he said was "that I will never give up on a patient". Then added "don't take that the wrong way". We will let you interpret that however you desire.
So Bob has fought tooth and nail for a decade. I was thinking about some of the things that happened in the past decade. Our son was married to Cori, we went to Arizona, grandkids graduated and others left school. We were blessed with four more grandkids, the oldest is now 9. We moved from a house to a condo. I left my job at the preschool at stem cell transplant time. Bob retired and was honoured by the company. We had at least 4 different vehicles. We took 3 kids on a trip to BC. We made several trips to Niagara Falls. Bob's dad passed away. We also had several friends and relatives pass away. We went on a helicopter ride over the Falls. Lots of life going on in a decade. Think about what happened in your life this past decade.
As we try and understand what a real remission means we are at a loss. Don't get me wrong we are totally thankful and praise our Lord for His great mercy to Bob. Bob's physical body is dealing with the ravages of this fight. Dr. B has said that it could take up to a year for the bones to BEGIN to repair themselves as the cells needed for repair are hiding.????? Naturally there may be holes that never heal. Bob's spine has also been affected. All that to say Bob does not really feel any different today than he did 30 days ago. The first adrenalin surge has passed. I think we thought we could go back to precancer and Bob would be able to do everything and anything. So we will take this day by day. We trust God for each day and what He has for us each day. We pray that we can serve and will be able to know what that looks like. Then take each month as it comes and trust remission would be a real word in our vocabulary.
Bob is still on the 3 chemo treatments. Altho Dr. B thought one extra week off is great idea. I think the doc doesn't want to stop treatments yet. The what ifs pop back in and why perhaps allow the cancer to start again? Would it?
This is a new trail on this cancer road and we will be learning how to navigate it. Trusting God to show the way. Psalm 119:105--Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
So Bob has fought tooth and nail for a decade. I was thinking about some of the things that happened in the past decade. Our son was married to Cori, we went to Arizona, grandkids graduated and others left school. We were blessed with four more grandkids, the oldest is now 9. We moved from a house to a condo. I left my job at the preschool at stem cell transplant time. Bob retired and was honoured by the company. We had at least 4 different vehicles. We took 3 kids on a trip to BC. We made several trips to Niagara Falls. Bob's dad passed away. We also had several friends and relatives pass away. We went on a helicopter ride over the Falls. Lots of life going on in a decade. Think about what happened in your life this past decade.
As we try and understand what a real remission means we are at a loss. Don't get me wrong we are totally thankful and praise our Lord for His great mercy to Bob. Bob's physical body is dealing with the ravages of this fight. Dr. B has said that it could take up to a year for the bones to BEGIN to repair themselves as the cells needed for repair are hiding.????? Naturally there may be holes that never heal. Bob's spine has also been affected. All that to say Bob does not really feel any different today than he did 30 days ago. The first adrenalin surge has passed. I think we thought we could go back to precancer and Bob would be able to do everything and anything. So we will take this day by day. We trust God for each day and what He has for us each day. We pray that we can serve and will be able to know what that looks like. Then take each month as it comes and trust remission would be a real word in our vocabulary.
Bob is still on the 3 chemo treatments. Altho Dr. B thought one extra week off is great idea. I think the doc doesn't want to stop treatments yet. The what ifs pop back in and why perhaps allow the cancer to start again? Would it?
This is a new trail on this cancer road and we will be learning how to navigate it. Trusting God to show the way. Psalm 119:105--Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.
Monday, May 7, 2018
CEASE FIRE
Our monthly trip to the oncologist on May 2 turned out different from the norm. The kappa free was at 1.19 and the lambda free was less that 1.40 which made the free ratio to be less than .85. This protein free chain is what the doc follows to check on where the cancer levels are. Bob basically has no active cancer at this point. Blew me over, well, Bob too. Dr. Bahlis showed us the graph and seeing that downward arrow was amazing. We didn't know what to do with this news. The battle with this cancer has been 10 years minus 2 months. Is this cease fire for real? We seem to be on hold waiting for the other shoe to drop. The first thing Dr. Bahlis did was stop the oral drug cyclophosphomate. This is the one we think gives Bob the most side affects. He is still on two oral chem drugs--pomolyst every day, dex once a week and the once a month infusion of darzalex. He had that infusion last Thurs.
We are thrilled with Dr. Bahlis who is not only Bob's oncologist but a cutting edge researcher on multiple myeloma. God used Dr. B's procedures and expertize to get to this point. The Lord also used the radiation from mid March to destroy cancer cells.
This weekend I could see a difference. He didn't sleep as much and had more energy. We went to church at the church. We weren't part of the FB church this week. Bob barbecued at noon. Mike and his family were here. Bob went to the playground with the kids and still did not have a nap.
Imagine what you see on a battlefield when a cease fire is called. In my mind I see black scorched land, helmets strewn about, weapons left helter skelter, burned out vehicles. Some things can never be the same. In Bob's cease fire I see 3 larger sizes of jeans, masks,bandages and tape, a huge mountain of pill bottles, hospital beds, a stroke, paramedics, a clam shell from back surgery, patches of pain meds, the smell of the transplant, isolation, tremors, MRIs, PETs, CTs and volunteers bringing a drink and a snack in a waiting room. Bob's body will never be the same. On May 10 we go to see a surgeon. The tumors in the neck have shrunk but still seem to concern Dr. B. Bob gets an xray and then we see the surgeon.
There isn't any myeloma in the skull for which we are most thankful. The following is s short quote from the neuroradiologist: " Redemonstrated are osseous lesions lesions at C3 and T1 compatible with known myeloma with slight progressive vertebra body height loss at C3. There is slight improvement in previous mild cord compression at the C3 level. no new focus of osseous metastatic disease. No new regions of cord compression." The cord suppression is what is concerning as it could cause paralysis. The radiation has helped that situation, we believe.
Thankful for the snot getting knocked out of the cancer. Doing our best to grab hold of the cease fire and enjoy the pause.
We are thrilled with Dr. Bahlis who is not only Bob's oncologist but a cutting edge researcher on multiple myeloma. God used Dr. B's procedures and expertize to get to this point. The Lord also used the radiation from mid March to destroy cancer cells.
This weekend I could see a difference. He didn't sleep as much and had more energy. We went to church at the church. We weren't part of the FB church this week. Bob barbecued at noon. Mike and his family were here. Bob went to the playground with the kids and still did not have a nap.
Imagine what you see on a battlefield when a cease fire is called. In my mind I see black scorched land, helmets strewn about, weapons left helter skelter, burned out vehicles. Some things can never be the same. In Bob's cease fire I see 3 larger sizes of jeans, masks,bandages and tape, a huge mountain of pill bottles, hospital beds, a stroke, paramedics, a clam shell from back surgery, patches of pain meds, the smell of the transplant, isolation, tremors, MRIs, PETs, CTs and volunteers bringing a drink and a snack in a waiting room. Bob's body will never be the same. On May 10 we go to see a surgeon. The tumors in the neck have shrunk but still seem to concern Dr. B. Bob gets an xray and then we see the surgeon.
There isn't any myeloma in the skull for which we are most thankful. The following is s short quote from the neuroradiologist: " Redemonstrated are osseous lesions lesions at C3 and T1 compatible with known myeloma with slight progressive vertebra body height loss at C3. There is slight improvement in previous mild cord compression at the C3 level. no new focus of osseous metastatic disease. No new regions of cord compression." The cord suppression is what is concerning as it could cause paralysis. The radiation has helped that situation, we believe.
Thankful for the snot getting knocked out of the cancer. Doing our best to grab hold of the cease fire and enjoy the pause.
Wednesday, March 14, 2018
DOMINOES
The game of dominoes that I play with Bob is fairly relaxed. We go about matching the dots at a fairly even pace but with the anticipation that one of us will not be able to make a play and who will that be? With just the two of us playing, the game can go on for a bit and we become comfortable with the play. Once in awhile we have stood the dominoes on edge and did the little swirl and then touched the first one and watched them fall one after the other in a neat row even around the swirl.
Today is Wed. and already we have seen a live game of dominoes take place this week. We were becoming somewhat comfortable with Bob's health. Nothing new was happening as far as the cancer went. The dots were matching up. Perhaps we were a bit frustrated as even tho the dots matched we weren't really winning either. Last week Bob had an MRI done of his neck and upper spine. On Friday Bob's oncologist called saying he would like to go over the results with us. This was somewhat unusual as he always did that sort of thing at the scheduled appointments. We met with Dr. Bahlis and all of a sudden the game changed. We have a picture of the MRI and are able to clearly see what has happened and understand what we were told. I will quote-more or less--from the findings: Destructive lesions are again demonstrated at C3 and C7 progressed as compared to previous, pathological fracture at C3 with approx two thirds loss of height, retropulsion and epidural tumor, eccentric to the left resulting in mild cord compression, pathological fracture at C7 at approx 25% loss of height anteriorly and extending into the anterior epidural space on the right effacing the thecal sac and slightly flattening the anterolateral cord without evidence of cord suppression. Mild disc disease is noted at multiple levels. There are some other notes but the above notes were what put the upright dominoes into play. Lab work, wait to see the oncologist radiologist, this doc is straight forward, 'we do radiation on those two sites, cord compression will lead to paralysis", then to radiation department, CT scan, then the marks for radiation, mask made to keep the head from moving during treatment and at 5:15 the first radiation treatment. That is a lot of falling dominoes over a short period of time. Today Bob was back for the second radiation treatment. There will be 5 all together.
Our oncologist also talked about surgery at the C3 point. Everything will be re-evaluated once radiation is complete. Unless notified differently our next appointment is the 28th. Having a collar for Bob seemed to be something both docs mentioned but that was as far as that went. Bob was told to be careful with no sudden movements or head jerks????? Tomorrow we see the oncology radiologist before radiation and will ask him about a collar and how to go about getting one. The collar is Barbie's biggest concern what with all the pot holes etc. Amazing, one day we don't know and continue on with life and then freak out the next because we do know.
We are thankful for friends who are taking Bob to radiation and to our family for their prayers and continuing source of information!!!!! We are thankful for the medical people and the actions they take to deal with Bob's cancer. Should you be one who prays please pray for much wisdom for these doctors and all the medical teams. Pray for our mental health, our physical health and our spiritual health. Pray that we will not doubt that God is still on the throne of our lives.
Today is Wed. and already we have seen a live game of dominoes take place this week. We were becoming somewhat comfortable with Bob's health. Nothing new was happening as far as the cancer went. The dots were matching up. Perhaps we were a bit frustrated as even tho the dots matched we weren't really winning either. Last week Bob had an MRI done of his neck and upper spine. On Friday Bob's oncologist called saying he would like to go over the results with us. This was somewhat unusual as he always did that sort of thing at the scheduled appointments. We met with Dr. Bahlis and all of a sudden the game changed. We have a picture of the MRI and are able to clearly see what has happened and understand what we were told. I will quote-more or less--from the findings: Destructive lesions are again demonstrated at C3 and C7 progressed as compared to previous, pathological fracture at C3 with approx two thirds loss of height, retropulsion and epidural tumor, eccentric to the left resulting in mild cord compression, pathological fracture at C7 at approx 25% loss of height anteriorly and extending into the anterior epidural space on the right effacing the thecal sac and slightly flattening the anterolateral cord without evidence of cord suppression. Mild disc disease is noted at multiple levels. There are some other notes but the above notes were what put the upright dominoes into play. Lab work, wait to see the oncologist radiologist, this doc is straight forward, 'we do radiation on those two sites, cord compression will lead to paralysis", then to radiation department, CT scan, then the marks for radiation, mask made to keep the head from moving during treatment and at 5:15 the first radiation treatment. That is a lot of falling dominoes over a short period of time. Today Bob was back for the second radiation treatment. There will be 5 all together.
Our oncologist also talked about surgery at the C3 point. Everything will be re-evaluated once radiation is complete. Unless notified differently our next appointment is the 28th. Having a collar for Bob seemed to be something both docs mentioned but that was as far as that went. Bob was told to be careful with no sudden movements or head jerks????? Tomorrow we see the oncology radiologist before radiation and will ask him about a collar and how to go about getting one. The collar is Barbie's biggest concern what with all the pot holes etc. Amazing, one day we don't know and continue on with life and then freak out the next because we do know.
We are thankful for friends who are taking Bob to radiation and to our family for their prayers and continuing source of information!!!!! We are thankful for the medical people and the actions they take to deal with Bob's cancer. Should you be one who prays please pray for much wisdom for these doctors and all the medical teams. Pray for our mental health, our physical health and our spiritual health. Pray that we will not doubt that God is still on the throne of our lives.
Sunday, February 11, 2018
February 2018-----Happy Valenines Day
We, as Canadians, make a big deal out of Valentines Day. Show those you love how special they are. Chocolate, lots of chocolate, roses, hearts and a sea of red and pink are to be part of the celebration. Yesterday we gave our three youngest grandkids their valentine treat. They had no clue what these heart shaped boxes of chocolate were. I gave them hints: did your teacher tell you about cutting out heart shapes, did you buy valentine cards to give to your friends? Nik, being very perceptive says is it about girls? Yeah, kinda. So each of you, get with the programme and let those you love know it!!!!
In Sept Bob had radiation on his spine and since that time he has not had the horrid pain in his hip or back. That has now been five months of celebrating Valentines day. He only takes small amounts of opiates and has functioned at his new normal pace. Bob was even able to do two pieces of glass. He had given that up, so being able to do the glass was a positive. He has been able to drive wherever we went. Bob drove himself to his last infusion. For me this time has been me not being on the edge of the cliff, being able to breath.
The last two visits to the oncologist have shown the cancer markers going up. Don't get me wrong they only went up a wee bit and all the med people celebrated how great Bob is doing. All I can see is the graph going the other way. I guess I am a glass half empty person. Bob has been sleeping so much more and not getting up for night snacks, sleeping until like ten am. He has now started to have pain again in his back and hips. I hate it!!!! It means more pain med, new drugs, chances of all past events happening again. Today I have lost my grip, the anchor is slipping and I am afraid. This is not who I have been and I struggle with it.
Please pray that the pain in Bob will not get worse. Pray that I can do this with the Lord holding onto both of us. Pray that God's love that is with us every day will shine through us to our world.
In Sept Bob had radiation on his spine and since that time he has not had the horrid pain in his hip or back. That has now been five months of celebrating Valentines day. He only takes small amounts of opiates and has functioned at his new normal pace. Bob was even able to do two pieces of glass. He had given that up, so being able to do the glass was a positive. He has been able to drive wherever we went. Bob drove himself to his last infusion. For me this time has been me not being on the edge of the cliff, being able to breath.
The last two visits to the oncologist have shown the cancer markers going up. Don't get me wrong they only went up a wee bit and all the med people celebrated how great Bob is doing. All I can see is the graph going the other way. I guess I am a glass half empty person. Bob has been sleeping so much more and not getting up for night snacks, sleeping until like ten am. He has now started to have pain again in his back and hips. I hate it!!!! It means more pain med, new drugs, chances of all past events happening again. Today I have lost my grip, the anchor is slipping and I am afraid. This is not who I have been and I struggle with it.
Please pray that the pain in Bob will not get worse. Pray that I can do this with the Lord holding onto both of us. Pray that God's love that is with us every day will shine through us to our world.
Thursday, December 14, 2017
THE CHRISTMAS JOURNEY 2017
Merry Christmas to each of you who are reading this blog. Some on paper and some on blogspot. I have been posting something about the cancer journey, Bob has been on, for these many years. I think people may get tired of hearing about our journey and our prayer requests. Perhaps fatigue over the same old thing or perhaps just the fact that so many of us are on our own personal journey with many different tough situations. However when you think of us please do offer a prayer for Bob for lack of pain, quality of life in keeping with his health. Pray that I will not allow myself to slip into morose. Pray that I will continue gracefully loving and caring for my Bob.
For Bob December began and continued on from November. The pain in behind his ear radiates to his shoulder and now down the jaw. The jaw also has tingling and numbness. Our family doc gave Bob a viral cream to put in the ear. The ear is pretty much clear. The green gucky stuff is gone. Bob went back to the family doc who looked back at the Aug. PET scan and thought that the lesions (tumors) on C3 and T1 may be causing the problem by pushing on something. We got in to see our oncologist yesterday, like a Christmas miracle, on one day notice.
An aside here: Last week at the end of the week Bob received a call from Alberta Lab services that they wanted to redo the lab results that they had done 2 weeks ago. Bob went in this past Monday with the 24 hr urine and the blood work was also redone. That happened before our appointment with the family doc or the appointment with the oncologist. God always has our back!!!!!!!! We told the oncology nurse that this had been done and she was amazed that she had not been informed. This requisition had come from the lab.
As we met with our oncologist the results that he was looking at were only days old and Bob is only in the middle of his cycle. Once again the cancer markers are down and this in 2 weeks. For my medical people: Kappa Free down to 33.39 from34.2 which is going in the right direction Lambda Free1.83 from .28 also going in the right direction which put the ratio at 18.25 from 122.14 which is also the right direction. Urine protein .12 well in the normal range. Praise God kidneys are fine. Neutrophils 2.3 in the normal range---just but there!!!!! Once again Dr. B so "over the moon" with these numbers as Bob is part of his research. He assured us that he did not believe this pain was from the multiple myeloma lesions. He believes there may be an infection in the mucus??!!!!! behind the ear. He gave a name to this which I did not write down and which I couldn't find thru doc google since the name had kind of escaped me. sighhhhhh. He gave Bob a prescription for a different antibiotic this is a sulfa antibiotic. However he is ordering a MRI for the base of the skull to cover all the bases. Should Bob get better with the antibiotic then we are to cancel the MRI.
That is the medical journey thus far this month. :-} .
Since this is also partly our Christmas letter I will let you know that our families are both in a relatively stable condition. All are working or studying, or still attending school. They are all healthy. They, well at least the little ones are growing like weeds. The older ones don't want to grow in either direction. Our youngest grandchild is closing in on 5 and our oldest well on his way to 21.
We get to spend time with them regularly as both Mike and Barbie and their families live close. This has been a huge blessing for Bob and I.
Each family member is on a unique journey of their own. Learning new skills, packing away knowledge, learning about people and situations that have to be dealt with. We are proud of each and every one of them.
The most important Christmas journey was the one that Mary and Joseph made to Bethlehem over two thousand years ago. This journey had been foretold in scripture through the prophets centuries earlier. Bethlehem was to be the place where the Savior of the world was to be born. Sadly Jesus was not who most of the world wanted as a Savior. He did not have an army to over throw the Romans. Even though Jesus healed many people physically He did not heal everyone. Jesus did not make 'life on earth" perfect for anyone. The journey of Jesus to earth and then his death on the cross and His Resurrection do give us an amazing way to live on earth. He promises to never leave or forsake us. He dwells within us. He gives us His strength, His wisdom, His peace, His love, His joy.
Once we accept Jesus as King of our lives and confess with our mouths that Jesus is our Savior and we want Him to journey with us through this life. We will live eternally in heaven and continue to praise and worship our Lord Jesus Christ forever.
Now that is a journey worth being on.
For Bob December began and continued on from November. The pain in behind his ear radiates to his shoulder and now down the jaw. The jaw also has tingling and numbness. Our family doc gave Bob a viral cream to put in the ear. The ear is pretty much clear. The green gucky stuff is gone. Bob went back to the family doc who looked back at the Aug. PET scan and thought that the lesions (tumors) on C3 and T1 may be causing the problem by pushing on something. We got in to see our oncologist yesterday, like a Christmas miracle, on one day notice.
An aside here: Last week at the end of the week Bob received a call from Alberta Lab services that they wanted to redo the lab results that they had done 2 weeks ago. Bob went in this past Monday with the 24 hr urine and the blood work was also redone. That happened before our appointment with the family doc or the appointment with the oncologist. God always has our back!!!!!!!! We told the oncology nurse that this had been done and she was amazed that she had not been informed. This requisition had come from the lab.
As we met with our oncologist the results that he was looking at were only days old and Bob is only in the middle of his cycle. Once again the cancer markers are down and this in 2 weeks. For my medical people: Kappa Free down to 33.39 from34.2 which is going in the right direction Lambda Free1.83 from .28 also going in the right direction which put the ratio at 18.25 from 122.14 which is also the right direction. Urine protein .12 well in the normal range. Praise God kidneys are fine. Neutrophils 2.3 in the normal range---just but there!!!!! Once again Dr. B so "over the moon" with these numbers as Bob is part of his research. He assured us that he did not believe this pain was from the multiple myeloma lesions. He believes there may be an infection in the mucus??!!!!! behind the ear. He gave a name to this which I did not write down and which I couldn't find thru doc google since the name had kind of escaped me. sighhhhhh. He gave Bob a prescription for a different antibiotic this is a sulfa antibiotic. However he is ordering a MRI for the base of the skull to cover all the bases. Should Bob get better with the antibiotic then we are to cancel the MRI.
That is the medical journey thus far this month. :-} .
Since this is also partly our Christmas letter I will let you know that our families are both in a relatively stable condition. All are working or studying, or still attending school. They are all healthy. They, well at least the little ones are growing like weeds. The older ones don't want to grow in either direction. Our youngest grandchild is closing in on 5 and our oldest well on his way to 21.
We get to spend time with them regularly as both Mike and Barbie and their families live close. This has been a huge blessing for Bob and I.
Each family member is on a unique journey of their own. Learning new skills, packing away knowledge, learning about people and situations that have to be dealt with. We are proud of each and every one of them.
The most important Christmas journey was the one that Mary and Joseph made to Bethlehem over two thousand years ago. This journey had been foretold in scripture through the prophets centuries earlier. Bethlehem was to be the place where the Savior of the world was to be born. Sadly Jesus was not who most of the world wanted as a Savior. He did not have an army to over throw the Romans. Even though Jesus healed many people physically He did not heal everyone. Jesus did not make 'life on earth" perfect for anyone. The journey of Jesus to earth and then his death on the cross and His Resurrection do give us an amazing way to live on earth. He promises to never leave or forsake us. He dwells within us. He gives us His strength, His wisdom, His peace, His love, His joy.
Once we accept Jesus as King of our lives and confess with our mouths that Jesus is our Savior and we want Him to journey with us through this life. We will live eternally in heaven and continue to praise and worship our Lord Jesus Christ forever.
Now that is a journey worth being on.
Wednesday, November 8, 2017
TILT A WHIRL NOV. 2017
Another month of up and down and all around. Kinda like a tilt-a-whirl at the mid-way rides.
Bob spent four days in the hospital before Hallowe'en. Bob spiked a fever and had the chills, sweats and shakes so off we went to emergency. Bob had just finished a course of antibiotics for a nasty ear infection and was still on antibiotic drops. I cannot imagine how any germs are left inside of his body as Bob was put on some heavy duty IV antibiotics. His blood count was low again. He was also a bit on the dehydrated side. The saline soon had him nice and plumped up in short order and of course using the washroom a lot.
However, with all the testing, even a CT of his head, a site of infection was not readily determined. Bob then came home on another round of oral antibiotics.
The next week was our Tom Baker Cancer Care visits. Up, up we went this time. The protein that the oncologist follows as the cancer marker was low. This blew us away as we expected something totally different. The numbers were as low as they have been in the nine year, four month battle!!!! I have never seen so much teeth showing on Dr. B's face. So we went ahead for Bob to continue on the current regime the next day. Why take a chance that the cancer would go the other way? Even in only a weeks delay. Before one of the chemos will be dropped Bob's protein numbers would have to remain stable for three to four months. He is on four chemo drugs all oral but the one, so getting off of chemo isn't happening any time soon. Multiple Myeloma would pop up without having a sword at it's throat so chemo will always Bob's normal. Bob is handling the side affects well for now. He is tired and sleeps a fair bit depending on the day. He is also rather week so lots of sitting or walking is not good. In all actuality though, this normal is doable for both of us.
Down, down we went the other day. Bob had to meet with our GP after the hospital stay. His appt was this past Mon. Dr. G took another swab of the ear. He said he wanted to be sure there was no lingering infection. Today Bob can hear? can sense? the same popping in his ear. He called the GP and got an appointment for next week, BUT with the advice to phone at 8:00am tomorrow and they may have a cancellation and they will fit him in.
We have cast all our worries and anxiety at the Lord's feet. In truth, we have ceased to worry about this cancer or the days ahead BUT as each incident comes along we do our best to battle the cancer. Bob is a guinea pig of sorts now and our desire is that a cure will be found not only for multiple myeloma but for all cancers. This is an insidious disease that robs victims and families of a life that we think we should have. Hope for eternal life with Jesus is a real and promised hope, the life we think we should have will be gone but heaven is for ever. Praise God.
Bob spent four days in the hospital before Hallowe'en. Bob spiked a fever and had the chills, sweats and shakes so off we went to emergency. Bob had just finished a course of antibiotics for a nasty ear infection and was still on antibiotic drops. I cannot imagine how any germs are left inside of his body as Bob was put on some heavy duty IV antibiotics. His blood count was low again. He was also a bit on the dehydrated side. The saline soon had him nice and plumped up in short order and of course using the washroom a lot.
However, with all the testing, even a CT of his head, a site of infection was not readily determined. Bob then came home on another round of oral antibiotics.
The next week was our Tom Baker Cancer Care visits. Up, up we went this time. The protein that the oncologist follows as the cancer marker was low. This blew us away as we expected something totally different. The numbers were as low as they have been in the nine year, four month battle!!!! I have never seen so much teeth showing on Dr. B's face. So we went ahead for Bob to continue on the current regime the next day. Why take a chance that the cancer would go the other way? Even in only a weeks delay. Before one of the chemos will be dropped Bob's protein numbers would have to remain stable for three to four months. He is on four chemo drugs all oral but the one, so getting off of chemo isn't happening any time soon. Multiple Myeloma would pop up without having a sword at it's throat so chemo will always Bob's normal. Bob is handling the side affects well for now. He is tired and sleeps a fair bit depending on the day. He is also rather week so lots of sitting or walking is not good. In all actuality though, this normal is doable for both of us.
Down, down we went the other day. Bob had to meet with our GP after the hospital stay. His appt was this past Mon. Dr. G took another swab of the ear. He said he wanted to be sure there was no lingering infection. Today Bob can hear? can sense? the same popping in his ear. He called the GP and got an appointment for next week, BUT with the advice to phone at 8:00am tomorrow and they may have a cancellation and they will fit him in.
We have cast all our worries and anxiety at the Lord's feet. In truth, we have ceased to worry about this cancer or the days ahead BUT as each incident comes along we do our best to battle the cancer. Bob is a guinea pig of sorts now and our desire is that a cure will be found not only for multiple myeloma but for all cancers. This is an insidious disease that robs victims and families of a life that we think we should have. Hope for eternal life with Jesus is a real and promised hope, the life we think we should have will be gone but heaven is for ever. Praise God.
Sunday, October 8, 2017
THANKSGIVING and ACCEPTANCE
Happy Thanksgiving. The season truly is a time to be grateful for all the things we have plus all of the people we have in our lives. We have been given such a huge privilege to have been born in Canada or to have immigrated to Canada. I was reminded this week though, through our ladies bible study, that we are all exiles here on earth. We will one day go into eternity. Jesus died for us on the cross, rose again and has gone to prepare a place for us in heaven. What a hope to live with, once we have accepted Jesus as our Savior and follow Him with our lives.
I suppose the reality is----- that with all this great news Bob does not feel well. That slows both of us down. We are so very grateful for the cancer results, don't get me wrong. I guess we thought that as the cancer was getting clobbered with the chemo drugs; Bob would get back more energy, more excitement, be stronger, last physically longer in situations. That however is not the case. The pain is now pretty much under control. Bob is pleased with the control. Amazing pain team from TB so our conclusion was yippy here we go. This week as we pondered and prayed and we came (well Bob came) to the acceptance that this cancer sucks, and now into all the treatments for more than nine years, his body was not going to recover. He has accepted that and as he continues to fight this cancer it is what it is and he will enjoy as much as he can. What the doctors are doing now is learning as much as they can about the protocols and combinations of chemo. Bob will stay on the monthly darzalex infusion along with once a week dex, with 3 weeks of pomalyst and 1 week off, plus every other day of cyclophosphomide. Pray with us that his organs will continue to hold out well. Bob has some stomach issues but so far they can be dealt with. Pray that Bob's blood work will stay in a healthy range. This week he needed to take filgrastim as the neutrophils were to low. These are needed to fight infection. Soooooo Bob will be having blood work done each week to watch the neutraphil level. We had a perscription for the filgrastim to be filled this week. The dose is already in needle form. We got 6 needles, so if the counts are down Bob will be contacted and will take a dose----in the tummy!!!!!! Cost---1600.$$$ Praise God senior's blue cross covered it.
We are so thankful for the health care Bob has received here in Calgary. Thankful for everything we have, thankful for our family and their love and care. Thankful for our church family and for the friends we have made here as well as the friends we have across Canada. Please be grateful this Thanksgiving weekend for your life and situation, more importantly be thankful every day. Be content and accepting of what each of us have been given. Hugs to all.
This passed week was our full out doctor week. The lab work we were given was complete and tells us that the protein numbers that follow the cancer are once again lower than last month. The bone marrow biopsy was super. The sample showed that the myeloma cells have diminished and there were only a few in the sample. The radiation was completed on the two active spots on the spine. This hasn't caused a lot of discomfort for Bob. Such a lot of great news. News that we were not actually expecting!!!!! So hurrah and hallelujah.
I suppose the reality is----- that with all this great news Bob does not feel well. That slows both of us down. We are so very grateful for the cancer results, don't get me wrong. I guess we thought that as the cancer was getting clobbered with the chemo drugs; Bob would get back more energy, more excitement, be stronger, last physically longer in situations. That however is not the case. The pain is now pretty much under control. Bob is pleased with the control. Amazing pain team from TB so our conclusion was yippy here we go. This week as we pondered and prayed and we came (well Bob came) to the acceptance that this cancer sucks, and now into all the treatments for more than nine years, his body was not going to recover. He has accepted that and as he continues to fight this cancer it is what it is and he will enjoy as much as he can. What the doctors are doing now is learning as much as they can about the protocols and combinations of chemo. Bob will stay on the monthly darzalex infusion along with once a week dex, with 3 weeks of pomalyst and 1 week off, plus every other day of cyclophosphomide. Pray with us that his organs will continue to hold out well. Bob has some stomach issues but so far they can be dealt with. Pray that Bob's blood work will stay in a healthy range. This week he needed to take filgrastim as the neutrophils were to low. These are needed to fight infection. Soooooo Bob will be having blood work done each week to watch the neutraphil level. We had a perscription for the filgrastim to be filled this week. The dose is already in needle form. We got 6 needles, so if the counts are down Bob will be contacted and will take a dose----in the tummy!!!!!! Cost---1600.$$$ Praise God senior's blue cross covered it.
We are so thankful for the health care Bob has received here in Calgary. Thankful for everything we have, thankful for our family and their love and care. Thankful for our church family and for the friends we have made here as well as the friends we have across Canada. Please be grateful this Thanksgiving weekend for your life and situation, more importantly be thankful every day. Be content and accepting of what each of us have been given. Hugs to all.
Tuesday, September 12, 2017
Fall 2017
It is the middle of Sept.---well, almost. September is like a January. It is like a starting over or a starting again month. Lots of new clothes and supplies for school like clean scribblers and new binders. Purchasing new warmer clothes for the winter months, that will be here all to soon. Our daughter got into some canning and jam making this year. So very neat to see that happening. Putting things "up for winter". I spent years doing that. Having a large garden allowed us to feed ourselves for pretty much all year with vegetables and fruit. Time changes everything and this year our September beginning looks different.
Well we came into Sept. optimistic that the cancer would remain static and the pain would be defeated. However, we are beginning again to fight this horrible disease, beginning again to find answers to Bob's pain.
The cancer markers hadn't all made it back from the lab due to the long weekend so an important piece of the puzzle was missing. The cancer protein marker wasn't back. Bob's blood counts were all adequate. It was the PET scan that determined we needed to start fighting again. This is what is called the IMPRESSION at the end of the results of the PET scan. Written by the doctor of Diagnostic Radiology and Nuclear Medicine:
Well we came into Sept. optimistic that the cancer would remain static and the pain would be defeated. However, we are beginning again to fight this horrible disease, beginning again to find answers to Bob's pain.
The cancer markers hadn't all made it back from the lab due to the long weekend so an important piece of the puzzle was missing. The cancer protein marker wasn't back. Bob's blood counts were all adequate. It was the PET scan that determined we needed to start fighting again. This is what is called the IMPRESSION at the end of the results of the PET scan. Written by the doctor of Diagnostic Radiology and Nuclear Medicine:
Adverse change compared to previous. Metabolic activity at several sites of disease compatible with disease progression has increased as discussed above..There is also a new, low-grade, metabolically active focus at T1. At C3 and L1 there are new anatomic changes of progression as well.
The last PET scan was on April 24,2017.
Sooooooo for this month Bob has begun to orally take another chemo drug. Pomalyst has been added. It is kind of up in the air (I believe) as to whether he will continue with the darzalex infusion. He has had that for 18 months. We get a call each month from the drug company that produces and provides this drug. It is a small thing, but the gal we spoke with didn't mention next months infusion. She has always given us the date for the next time.
We started over again with the Pain Clinic. We did that once before but things got all blurry when our oncologist or our GP helped out with pain and then meds got changed and added to and Bob was a mess again. This time we are more organized. Bob and I are doing it together and anything to do with pain goes only to our pain team. To seal that deal we get a call from them every other day---at least for now. :-} PLUS we will meet with a home care team who are part of the pain clinic. These folks are not the cleaning, cooking, bathing home care team. This team is on call 24/7 and deals with pain and the meds for it. Things usually fall apart on the weekend or the middle of the night. They will help us get to the right place for Bob or help us adjust what Bob is taking. Hopefully we won't have to deal at an emerg dept that suggests we should only go to Foothills Hospital because they don't have an oncology dept. and are asking "do you regularly take all these meds?" The home care team will access what we should do. However an ambulance will only take you to the nearest hospital. Anyway we are getting things sorted out-------I hope.
Bob also had a bone marrow aspiration. This will help the oncologist to see more clearly what is truly happening in the bone marrow. Results will be at our next appointment at the beginning of Oct.
We take all of this in our stride. Bob has the best care possible for multiple myeloma. Often we both get a little muddled in our thinking and what to do. We do have God our Father walking along with us and we endeavor to hold tight to His Hands.
A comforting verse taken from Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? "Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go".
Interesting fact: Last Sunday I started to teach this verse---well the beginning of it to the 2 year old Sunday School class!!!!!!!
Bob also had a bone marrow aspiration. This will help the oncologist to see more clearly what is truly happening in the bone marrow. Results will be at our next appointment at the beginning of Oct.
We take all of this in our stride. Bob has the best care possible for multiple myeloma. Often we both get a little muddled in our thinking and what to do. We do have God our Father walking along with us and we endeavor to hold tight to His Hands.
A comforting verse taken from Joshua 1:9 Have I not commanded you? "Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go".
Interesting fact: Last Sunday I started to teach this verse---well the beginning of it to the 2 year old Sunday School class!!!!!!!
It is indeed a verse for all seasons of life.
Thursday, August 3, 2017
AUGUST LONG 2017
The summer is spinning by at a seemingly crazy speed. After this weekend it always seems to me that it is full out toward back to school. Getting back to sweaters, long pants and buying the least expensive loose leaf available!!!
The number of times that Bob and I have gone to the Tom Baker Cancer Centre also seems to accumulate ever so quickly. We are now into the ninth year of fighting this cancer. We were at TBC yesterday. One of our friends hoped that our meeting with the oncologist would be mundane. Well it was ordinary, at least as ordinary as the last couple of visits were. Gotta love ordinary. Bob's cancer markers were steady to two months ago. Dr. B. was thinking the spike in last months numbers was either a lab mistake or an anomaly as the numbers are right back down. Bob's blood work is low but acceptable according to the doc. Bob had another round of darzalex yesterday and so nothing has changed, at this point, for his chemo regime. That fact also makes us happy.
Sadly, the pain Bob has, has increased to the point he can hardly stand it at times. Before the end of Aug. he will have another PET scan. This should show what is going on in his hip and pelvis bones to cause such pain. Everyone seems to agree that bone pain is the worst. We are seeing the reality of that. Bob explained the cancer to someone in this way "the cancer eats holes in his bones and then the bones weaken and can crack." He had a fall awhile back and that could be what has happened. To relieve the pain he is trying some alternative pain stuff but today is back on the morphine only. Fortunately for me, well for both of us, Bob remains optimistic and mild mannered.
We made a trip to Manitoba. That time in MB seemed to spin by so quickly. We had a memorial and the interment of Bob's dad's ashes. He has been interred in the same grave as mom. Gerry had ordered a smaller marker to sit in front of mom's. One day was the immediate family only. That turned out very special. We were joined by extended family and friends on the second day. We had a meeting at the grave site followed by lunch at our niece's home. So very good to see all those folks again and reminisce about both dad and mom. Crystal is almost the spitting image of mom when mom was younger. Once the pictures were out the similarity of mom and Crystal was amazing.
We then were in Winnipeg to celebrate my mom's 89th birthday. That was a fun day. My brother is a social convener extraordinaire. Lots of games that all ages from 4-89 took part in. Mom was even in the 3 legged race-----not to shabby for 89. My sweet sister and brother in law babied us for a few days (oh so nice), and we spent time with mom. We had supper with some special friends from the north.
We were able to visit with several other friends both in Brandon and Winnipeg too, so "it was all good".
Oh Oh we also went to the colony where my friend Deanne lives. We were treated royally by her family and enjoyed fellowship with them and a tour of their colony and life style.
The wheels on the Terrain were just spinning like crazy on the way home as I took over the driving!!!
Hebrews 13:5b "God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." We cling to the Father as these days roll along.
The number of times that Bob and I have gone to the Tom Baker Cancer Centre also seems to accumulate ever so quickly. We are now into the ninth year of fighting this cancer. We were at TBC yesterday. One of our friends hoped that our meeting with the oncologist would be mundane. Well it was ordinary, at least as ordinary as the last couple of visits were. Gotta love ordinary. Bob's cancer markers were steady to two months ago. Dr. B. was thinking the spike in last months numbers was either a lab mistake or an anomaly as the numbers are right back down. Bob's blood work is low but acceptable according to the doc. Bob had another round of darzalex yesterday and so nothing has changed, at this point, for his chemo regime. That fact also makes us happy.
Sadly, the pain Bob has, has increased to the point he can hardly stand it at times. Before the end of Aug. he will have another PET scan. This should show what is going on in his hip and pelvis bones to cause such pain. Everyone seems to agree that bone pain is the worst. We are seeing the reality of that. Bob explained the cancer to someone in this way "the cancer eats holes in his bones and then the bones weaken and can crack." He had a fall awhile back and that could be what has happened. To relieve the pain he is trying some alternative pain stuff but today is back on the morphine only. Fortunately for me, well for both of us, Bob remains optimistic and mild mannered.
We made a trip to Manitoba. That time in MB seemed to spin by so quickly. We had a memorial and the interment of Bob's dad's ashes. He has been interred in the same grave as mom. Gerry had ordered a smaller marker to sit in front of mom's. One day was the immediate family only. That turned out very special. We were joined by extended family and friends on the second day. We had a meeting at the grave site followed by lunch at our niece's home. So very good to see all those folks again and reminisce about both dad and mom. Crystal is almost the spitting image of mom when mom was younger. Once the pictures were out the similarity of mom and Crystal was amazing.
We then were in Winnipeg to celebrate my mom's 89th birthday. That was a fun day. My brother is a social convener extraordinaire. Lots of games that all ages from 4-89 took part in. Mom was even in the 3 legged race-----not to shabby for 89. My sweet sister and brother in law babied us for a few days (oh so nice), and we spent time with mom. We had supper with some special friends from the north.
We were able to visit with several other friends both in Brandon and Winnipeg too, so "it was all good".
Oh Oh we also went to the colony where my friend Deanne lives. We were treated royally by her family and enjoyed fellowship with them and a tour of their colony and life style.
The wheels on the Terrain were just spinning like crazy on the way home as I took over the driving!!!
Hebrews 13:5b "God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." We cling to the Father as these days roll along.
Thursday, June 1, 2017
STABLE
In the dictionary stable means not fluctuating. Stability is the strength to endure or stand.
Each of us want to live in a stable environment. We want our relationships, our finances, our jobs all to be stable. Most of us want to know what is ahead from day to day. As we grow older we realize that a stable world is not always the case. Our world and the forces in it are in constant change almost every day. Jobs and the security they provide can be tenuous. Our families change and make choices that perhaps are foreign to what we know and believe. Partners and friends change. They can become someone different from the person we learned to know months or years earlier. Our stable life can be turned upside down leaving us in a muddle not knowing what to do or how to react. Bob and I are thrilled to know Jesus. he is stabile, no matter what is happening in our lives. Hebrews 13:5b says" because God said "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you".
Bob has waited many months and with baited breathe that the cancer he has would not be constantly marching ahead. We were at the cancer clinic yesterday and the protein numbers, and the blood work have all remained stable. HURRAH, therefore no change to the chemo protocol. Bob is doing well physically on this protocol. Under the supervision of a diabetic nurse the diabetes is also stable.
This was not what we expected and so we are very thankful. Since last month Bob spent 4 days in hospital. The docs believed it was an infection and because of his compromised immune system he was give a large, strong regiment of antibiotics. The docs settled on pneumonia as the infection, in the end, however several other conditions cleared up as well. However the chemo regime was altered and then cancelled for a week. Thankyou to those who are continually praying for us. These easier months would not happen without the prayers of friends and family and God's mercy.
I have to say that Bob has great stability because of our God who never changes. Bob has endured so very much over these past nine years that I firmly believe that his strength as a person can only be God given. Celebrate with us this month and pray that our next results will also be stable.
Each of us want to live in a stable environment. We want our relationships, our finances, our jobs all to be stable. Most of us want to know what is ahead from day to day. As we grow older we realize that a stable world is not always the case. Our world and the forces in it are in constant change almost every day. Jobs and the security they provide can be tenuous. Our families change and make choices that perhaps are foreign to what we know and believe. Partners and friends change. They can become someone different from the person we learned to know months or years earlier. Our stable life can be turned upside down leaving us in a muddle not knowing what to do or how to react. Bob and I are thrilled to know Jesus. he is stabile, no matter what is happening in our lives. Hebrews 13:5b says" because God said "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you".
Bob has waited many months and with baited breathe that the cancer he has would not be constantly marching ahead. We were at the cancer clinic yesterday and the protein numbers, and the blood work have all remained stable. HURRAH, therefore no change to the chemo protocol. Bob is doing well physically on this protocol. Under the supervision of a diabetic nurse the diabetes is also stable.
This was not what we expected and so we are very thankful. Since last month Bob spent 4 days in hospital. The docs believed it was an infection and because of his compromised immune system he was give a large, strong regiment of antibiotics. The docs settled on pneumonia as the infection, in the end, however several other conditions cleared up as well. However the chemo regime was altered and then cancelled for a week. Thankyou to those who are continually praying for us. These easier months would not happen without the prayers of friends and family and God's mercy.
I have to say that Bob has great stability because of our God who never changes. Bob has endured so very much over these past nine years that I firmly believe that his strength as a person can only be God given. Celebrate with us this month and pray that our next results will also be stable.
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
POWER
Today is a super day in a number of ways. Today is the first day, this year, the temperature has gone above 20C. The power of the sun changes everything especially how I feel. Drab, gray days make me, well, drab and gray. The leaves will very quickly burst forth now....summer is around the corner.
Today was also our monthly trip to the Tom Baker Cancer Centre. We received a call yesterday that Bob's appointment could now be moved forward in time. There goes supper out!!!! but an earlier time is always good. The new time was for 12:30. The area around TB is under construction and what has gone missing is the parking lot. This is always a challenge---finding a spot that isn't at COP. Today we drove into the closest lot to TB and like we couldn't believe our eyes there was a spot right near the entrance AND no one else was vying for the spot. We were now early, but were prepared with our reading material and water. We had hardly gotten settled when "Robert Hildebrand" was called. And as only I (Shirley) could say "REALLY'!!!!! complete with a smirk, we were in. Once in the examining room we didn't wait either, tickety boom, the nurse does her thing and Dr. Bahlis is in. Land sakes took my breath away. All done by 12:43. That is some powerful performance.
I wish I knew how to copy the PET scan results and the graphs on here to share but I don't and don't have the patience to figure it out. Soooo you will have to take my word for the results. They are positive.
"The current PET scan examination shows improvement."..."No new hypermetabolic lytic bone lesions have developed elsewhere in the skeleton."...."No hypermetabolic masses or lymphadenopathy are seen anywhere within the body"...."other previously involved skeletal sites remain stable in appearance and inactive."... "There is no evidence of active extra medullary myeloma."
Bob's blood work was good. However the markers for cancer have gone up. The kappa free is 42.5 and the Lambda free at 1.6 making the ratio 26.56 up from 4.8 which is concerning to the doc. In a month if it gets to be 80 or more the chemo will be readjusted and he may be back with chemo drugs that have some of the yukky side affects. However because of the PET results Dr. Bahlis will leave everything as is as far as chemo goes.
The growth on Bob's head was benign.
God is good and the power of prayer is keeping the cancer more or less static. The power of prayer is also keeping Bob active and functioning and living life as well as possible
The pain Bob is having is not because of the cancer. Dr. Bahlis believes that it is the deterioration of the bones. Bob has holes in the pelvis and many weakened bone areas where there were active lesions. This is in the spine, ribs---thorax area. My big prayer now is that he won't fall. The pain meds Bob takes work well but when he needs to take the short acting one to cover more pain, it makes Bob jerky and he is often sleepy and may sleep away most of a day. That is usually after an extra busy day. Our family doctor told us that all of this has aged Bob's body at least 10 years. That puts him at 78.
We are thankful for these results. My small ladies bible study prayed for a miracle and I believe that this is the miracle for now, for this month. Prayer is a powerful tool to strengthen my unbelief.
Today was also our monthly trip to the Tom Baker Cancer Centre. We received a call yesterday that Bob's appointment could now be moved forward in time. There goes supper out!!!! but an earlier time is always good. The new time was for 12:30. The area around TB is under construction and what has gone missing is the parking lot. This is always a challenge---finding a spot that isn't at COP. Today we drove into the closest lot to TB and like we couldn't believe our eyes there was a spot right near the entrance AND no one else was vying for the spot. We were now early, but were prepared with our reading material and water. We had hardly gotten settled when "Robert Hildebrand" was called. And as only I (Shirley) could say "REALLY'!!!!! complete with a smirk, we were in. Once in the examining room we didn't wait either, tickety boom, the nurse does her thing and Dr. Bahlis is in. Land sakes took my breath away. All done by 12:43. That is some powerful performance.
I wish I knew how to copy the PET scan results and the graphs on here to share but I don't and don't have the patience to figure it out. Soooo you will have to take my word for the results. They are positive.
"The current PET scan examination shows improvement."..."No new hypermetabolic lytic bone lesions have developed elsewhere in the skeleton."...."No hypermetabolic masses or lymphadenopathy are seen anywhere within the body"...."other previously involved skeletal sites remain stable in appearance and inactive."... "There is no evidence of active extra medullary myeloma."
Bob's blood work was good. However the markers for cancer have gone up. The kappa free is 42.5 and the Lambda free at 1.6 making the ratio 26.56 up from 4.8 which is concerning to the doc. In a month if it gets to be 80 or more the chemo will be readjusted and he may be back with chemo drugs that have some of the yukky side affects. However because of the PET results Dr. Bahlis will leave everything as is as far as chemo goes.
The growth on Bob's head was benign.
God is good and the power of prayer is keeping the cancer more or less static. The power of prayer is also keeping Bob active and functioning and living life as well as possible
The pain Bob is having is not because of the cancer. Dr. Bahlis believes that it is the deterioration of the bones. Bob has holes in the pelvis and many weakened bone areas where there were active lesions. This is in the spine, ribs---thorax area. My big prayer now is that he won't fall. The pain meds Bob takes work well but when he needs to take the short acting one to cover more pain, it makes Bob jerky and he is often sleepy and may sleep away most of a day. That is usually after an extra busy day. Our family doctor told us that all of this has aged Bob's body at least 10 years. That puts him at 78.
We are thankful for these results. My small ladies bible study prayed for a miracle and I believe that this is the miracle for now, for this month. Prayer is a powerful tool to strengthen my unbelief.
Psalm 77:14 You are the God who performs miracles; you display your power among the peoples.
Saturday, April 1, 2017
THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY
This journey that Bob is on and which I ride along with and support and care about is long and hard. We have seen the good, the bad and the down right ugly days.
Right now and for the past seven to eight weeks we have seen good days. These days seem to be calmer, not as much tension in the soul. Bob has been feeling pretty good, actually. Bob is driving, going for walks, reading and a biggy shopping!!! Yes Bob loves to shop??? for.........hmmm-- electronics, gadgets, "men toys". Bringing some of those purchases home, then of course, require rearranging of furniture, new drapes, changing shelves.----you know!!! "women's toys" hehehe,tehe twitter.
Anyway we have done a lot together these last weeks. We have just had fun. Bob is learning that yes he does like to cook and help in the kitchen. His challenge now is diabetes. We never stop learning!!! However no evening stops at Dairy Queen.
My goal in documenting this is there are short seasons of enjoyment among the ongoing cancer. We are learning to claim these days, enjoy them and thank God for the answer to a prayer no matter how small it seems.
We have made some plans to head to MB on Thurs. April 6 after Bob's chemo infusion. This has been a huge step for me as I have allowed fear to creep into my heart. We are both excited to go, to leave our "normal" even for a few days. I do not allow myself to plan to far ahead as we never know when the good days will turn into bad days.
This past week Bob has his same old friend, pain, back. Back in the same old spot, back with the same old intensity. We believe the pain radiates from the same spot that was radiated in Jan. Bob has connected with our nurse practitioner and she has increased his pain meds. From the radiation pictures she was looking at, the nurse thinks it may be a different spot. She is checking with the oncologist radiologist. On Mon. we should get a call from her as well as a visit when we are at the hospital on Wed.
Next Wed April 5, we see the oncologist. Pray with us that the protein marker for cancer has not spiked. Pray for wisdom about what chemo to take. Pray that we will not have ugly days anytime soon. Pray that we will make this trip to MB. Pray that our faith in the Living God does not waver and that we will continue to trust Jesus to be ever present on this journey.
Tuesday, March 21, 2017
'HURRY HARD'------------> BIRTHDAY
We have spent a fair bit of time watching curling over the past several weeks. We are now into the Ladies' Worlds in Bejing China. Well,,, we are almost getting ready for bed as we watch team Canada curl their morning games. Harder to keep track of the event because of the time change from here to China.
Somewhat sadly we did not hurry to Ontario for dad's funeral. This was a tough decision for Bob to make. He is feeling so much better but mostly mentally and emotionally. The physical is still challenging most days. As we considered what the trip entailed, we thought that getting there and needing to be in bed for a couple of days would be to hard on everyone. Bob is blessed to know that many, many people attended the memorial to honour his dad. We saw dad in Oct. just as Bob was beginning to take the pomolyst. That had been a great visit. Dad had been reasonably well and we were able to help Reta prepare their home for dad and meet with many health care people who were beginning the journey with dad. Reta is doing well. She has had a friend with her most of the last three weeks.
God blessed us with hmmmm--- a mini wake the Thurs. before Dad's memorial. Bob has cousins in the city whom we do not see---only rarely!!!!! Ernie Hildebrand"s dad John (Anne) passed away just before Christmas. Marlene Hildebrand"s dad Dick (Mary) passed away a couple of weeks before dad. Mary was dad's sister. Dick and Mary lived in the Austin area of MB. Mary had passed away, I believe, a couple of years ago. Ernie's folks lived in Beamsville ON. Anne is still living in Beamsville. A number of folks who follow this blog know these folks and connections hence the bit of genealogy. For those who do not know the genealogy yes Dick and Mary did have the same name. Mary always was a Hildebrand . =)
Marlene and Ernie came to have dinner with us. We had a super time with them. Hopefully we will try and connect more frequently. The three cousins talked about their parents and what they remembered about their aunts and uncles. Bob and I learned a lot about the family that we did not know and had never heard before. Part of this because Ernie and Marlene were both born in Paraquay and either remember and or have heard the stories from their parents over the years. Most of the family resettled in Ontario. Bob's dad was the only one of the family who had not moved to Paraquay. Slowly the family all came back to Canada other than two brothers who eventually made their fortunes in South America. This evening of visiting was a very special time for us.
Bob has had a good couple of months. He doesn't need to nap as much. We go out walking again. We walked to church last week. That would be about 5 to 6 city blocks. Sheesh that hardly seems far now. Bob has received a few calls from his former work site plus he was out for one afternoon which he enjoyed. We went out to a concert. Bob was glad when it was over!!!! The two hours of sitting got long towards the end. He goes for coffee with a few different guys. He doesn't call Tim Horton's his office yet but does occasionally go to our friends office at Timmie's. We are enjoying this time together. It is like a real normal soooo that means getting use to retirement. We haven't had doctor appointments or tests these past weeks so it truly is an adjustment. Pray with us that the protein numbers have not shot up. Should the case be that the numbers stayed low and show no spike Bob may continue on with only the two chemo drugs. The infusion once a month and the dex once a week, that make life a sweet redemption.
Bob is now hurrying to his next birthday. On Thurs he will be 68. We praise God for each one of those years. There was a time at the beginning of this journey I believed he would not celebrate his 60th birthday. These birthdays do come along faster and faster each year.
Somewhat sadly we did not hurry to Ontario for dad's funeral. This was a tough decision for Bob to make. He is feeling so much better but mostly mentally and emotionally. The physical is still challenging most days. As we considered what the trip entailed, we thought that getting there and needing to be in bed for a couple of days would be to hard on everyone. Bob is blessed to know that many, many people attended the memorial to honour his dad. We saw dad in Oct. just as Bob was beginning to take the pomolyst. That had been a great visit. Dad had been reasonably well and we were able to help Reta prepare their home for dad and meet with many health care people who were beginning the journey with dad. Reta is doing well. She has had a friend with her most of the last three weeks.
God blessed us with hmmmm--- a mini wake the Thurs. before Dad's memorial. Bob has cousins in the city whom we do not see---only rarely!!!!! Ernie Hildebrand"s dad John (Anne) passed away just before Christmas. Marlene Hildebrand"s dad Dick (Mary) passed away a couple of weeks before dad. Mary was dad's sister. Dick and Mary lived in the Austin area of MB. Mary had passed away, I believe, a couple of years ago. Ernie's folks lived in Beamsville ON. Anne is still living in Beamsville. A number of folks who follow this blog know these folks and connections hence the bit of genealogy. For those who do not know the genealogy yes Dick and Mary did have the same name. Mary always was a Hildebrand . =)
Marlene and Ernie came to have dinner with us. We had a super time with them. Hopefully we will try and connect more frequently. The three cousins talked about their parents and what they remembered about their aunts and uncles. Bob and I learned a lot about the family that we did not know and had never heard before. Part of this because Ernie and Marlene were both born in Paraquay and either remember and or have heard the stories from their parents over the years. Most of the family resettled in Ontario. Bob's dad was the only one of the family who had not moved to Paraquay. Slowly the family all came back to Canada other than two brothers who eventually made their fortunes in South America. This evening of visiting was a very special time for us.
Bob has had a good couple of months. He doesn't need to nap as much. We go out walking again. We walked to church last week. That would be about 5 to 6 city blocks. Sheesh that hardly seems far now. Bob has received a few calls from his former work site plus he was out for one afternoon which he enjoyed. We went out to a concert. Bob was glad when it was over!!!! The two hours of sitting got long towards the end. He goes for coffee with a few different guys. He doesn't call Tim Horton's his office yet but does occasionally go to our friends office at Timmie's. We are enjoying this time together. It is like a real normal soooo that means getting use to retirement. We haven't had doctor appointments or tests these past weeks so it truly is an adjustment. Pray with us that the protein numbers have not shot up. Should the case be that the numbers stayed low and show no spike Bob may continue on with only the two chemo drugs. The infusion once a month and the dex once a week, that make life a sweet redemption.
Bob is now hurrying to his next birthday. On Thurs he will be 68. We praise God for each one of those years. There was a time at the beginning of this journey I believed he would not celebrate his 60th birthday. These birthdays do come along faster and faster each year.
Some great things about getting older:
*closed-captioning makes the evening news seem like an exotic foreign movie.
*you will probably be among the first hostages to be released.
* Handicapped parking spaces.
*You always get the comfiest chair in the room
LATER!!!!!
Sunday, February 26, 2017
HOPE///// BACKING UP
Hope is a confident trust with the expectation of fulfillment.
Bob's dad, Peter, had a hope that he would spend eternity in heaven with Jesus. He believed he would once again see all believers (mom) who have trusted Jesus as their Saviour and have already passed. Today dad is seeing the fulfillment of that expectation. Dad passed away today, February 26, 2017.Dad had just turned 94 years old. His life was filled with so many experiences, joys and losses. Dad was giving of all his resources, his time, talents and finances to his family when we had need. He was patient and loving to us and his grandkids. The three grandkids were his pride and joy. He loved each of them with an unconditional love. Dad worked hard his entire life and never gave up. He was the eternal optimist. The Fishbooks called him"no problem Pete".
We loved him and will miss him greatly. We talked with dad at least once a week. "Well hello Shirley Hildebrand, you are looking good today. How are things out west? How is my Bob?" spoken in that loud cheerful voice. Makes me cry as I type those words. Together dad and Reta were our (Bob"s) leading prayer warriors. That will leave a huge hole for sure.
Hugs to Reta who together with dad celebrated 25 years of marriage.
Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.
from an Irish headstone
Since the last post; we have received renewed hope for Bob's health. Dad would be pleased. The protein numbers are at the lowest they have been in nine years. Bittersweet since Bob stopped taking the chemo on the 12th. The oncologist was so thrilled that he did not really deal with Bob's decision. However we did do a backup and Bob is taking the chemo again. Like the doc says"don't screw up what you have accomplished". Did he really say screw? Perhaps not. At this point Bob is not taking one of the chemo drugs-----the pomolyst. It transfers to the brain and could have caused the huge side affects that Bob had. We do not see the oncologist until April but Bob will be doing lab work every week. He has the darzalex infusion on the 9th of March. Pray that the protein numbers will stay low without the pomolyst.
Due to the fact that Bob is feeling so much better he has decided that we will be going to Niagara Falls for dad's memorial. At this point though nothing has been decided. Pray for Bob's brother as he is the executor for their dad and is in contact with Reta as to plans etc.
May the memory of dad (Pete) bring us peace as we prepare to meet him where Jesus makes us whole.
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