Devastation

In the previous post I said that none of the days were wasted.  I truly want to believe that about each event that comes into my life-----I think I am safe in speaking for Bob too, so, what comesinto our lives.  Each day and each event that we have is not wasted in God's purpose for our lives.  I suppose if we are able to surrender to the Lord completely, and know that, not only the nice warm fuzzy things are going to be coming into our lives, but also the hard, earth shattering, dirty things may also enter into our experiences, we could hope and believe and know that none of these things are wasted but are ultimately for our spiritual good and growth.

 This idea of "wasted" is part of a song I had heard on galaxy radio.  I was busy sewing and not really listening---so I missed most of it and have no idea the name of the song.  However the phrase "nothing is wasted with our Redeemer" caught my attention.  Over the past many weeks I have pondered that phrase over and over.  I suppose the floods out here in Alberta brought the song's words to the fore front again.  How would God use these events for the ultimate good of the folks devastated by the loss of their homes, possessions, financial ruin, businesses in ruin-----it truly is horrible.  I was wondering if one of those homes had been mine could I still grab hold of Jesus' hand and walk with Him through all that needs doing?  I want to believe that we could do exactly that.  We have watched people on TV say exactly that,--- that God will see them through, "it is only stuff, thankful no one was killed."  Should people honestly and humbly begin to look to the Lord for strength, the days will not be wasted.  Samaritan's Purse has been out in High River, in Calgary, on the First Nation reservations helping not only physically but also being there to listen to and speak with hurting people.  We call it Samaritan's Purse but the people are volunteers from so very many churches across this area.  Truly they are Samaritans --giving up their own lives for 1 day, 2 days or??? days to help people they don't know and may never see again.  It was great that our church had many fellas go out to do this back breaking, smelly work.  To shovel out a basement of that heavy wet mud (which was not only soil mud) after the water had been sucked out was tough and then all of the stuff!!!!! so that there was nothing left in the basement just the concrete walls was not only hard but emotionally draining.  I was proud of our grandsons--Colton and Ashton--they helped in Calgary for one home.  They helped their Uncle Devon and Shane shovel and empty out the basement of  friends of theirs, who are elderly.  The boys came home totally pooped and very filthy.  In order to officially help, a person needs to be 18 years old, so they only did that one house.  All these experiences help the boys too.

I am thinking that much of the horror that  I sense about this flood comes from the one day that I spent out in High River.  We were away for the most part of the flood aftermath and returned after the 2 week mark (however that is for the next blog).  I made sandwiches and muffins  and took a turn to go out with the group from our church that had set up food tents and had been out there pretty much from the get go.  I had this sense of...oh I don't know---I am doing something so noble, so good.  I suppose I was in a way, doing something good, but with the wrong attitude.  From where this tent was, the devastation was---dry and "under control" but I could see and imagine how horrible it had been during the short time previous.  It was heartbreaking to see the elderly couples come for food and coffee  and return to the homes that they enjoyed into their retirements.  These same homes that were being torn apart and all their "stuff" was being dumped outside, strangers were in and out of their homes.  Each of these home owners was so thankful for the help and for the bit of comfort the fresh food brought.  The whole situation made me feel so sad and from what I was told I had no idea how it had been, how muddy, smelly, destroyed-- but I could imagine.  I believe that we were there to truly be the hands and feet of Jesus--to comfort, encourage and listen.  I realize that doing those things is not noble, maybe good, but it truly is all about serving and obeying what one believes God desires of them.  The couple that I went out with took a ride around the town after our shift.  There were areas that no one was allowed into.  Yet we could see the horribleness of the situation.  The scene that stays in my mind ---behind a road block was a long street with the trees on either side that grey color, the road, sidewalks?, boulevards--everything covered in this brown color and walking down the center was one person, all alone, dressed in a white hazard suit, hood up,big boots, big gloves, and a face mask--big, like it could have been more than just a mask.  That picture made me think of those end of the world science fiction movies.  Truly made me feel...........sad, like the town had been thwarted.  In some ways it has been..  There are many more scenes that totally unnerved me that showed the unleashed power of nature.  As much as we desire and aspire to control our environment we cannot.  People really do need to know the Lord.  How could we survive this kind of event if we didn't believe that not one day or event is a waste with the Lord.  How could Tim and Barbie survive?  How could Trent and Janelle survive, Dave and Dianne?  How could Bob and I survive if we didn't believe that there is a larger, eternal purpose for us.  Our horrible--cancer-- is only for a short season.  May we be faithful not to waste what God is walking with us through. 


Bob's journey brings a PET scan on July 29, news of the appointment in today's mail.

Deciphering

Taking me a long time to get back to the blog, I allow so much to take up my time in drips and drivels.  Truth be known I am also a horrible procrastinator.  Today the sun isn't shining so it is the kind of day that suggests putting ones thoughts on paper would be ok.

This week Bob will not be having chemo so we are still deciphering how just receiving the velcade on last Fri. is working.  Without the other two drugs some of the velcade side affects were more noticeable.  The nausea and sick feeling stomach lasted through Sunday.  Bob does take the anti nausea drugs so he wasn't actually sick, which is a blessing---he just didn't feel that well.  The neuropathy is bad, his feet are just "crawling", so Bob is using the Tiger Balm but probably not as often as he should.  He also thought that he would stop taking gabapenton.  This is to help with the neuropathy.  Sheesh I forget which side affect that drug gives Bob that he doesn't like.  Anyway you get the picture, so Bob is taking that drug again.  The big side affect is being tired, probably from everything.  After typing all that I would have to say that Bob is doing well!!!!  There is no cancer pain (bone pain).  He is working pretty much full time again.  He leaves work earlier when he needs and on any treatment days, or Dr. days, Bob is able to take the time as needed.  Sooooooo very thankful for this job.  Bob's desire is to work as long as he is able.  A friend asked "didn't he want to take the time and retire and do other things?"  Bob hasn't gotten to 65 yet and as we are not independently wealthy he was striving to hit that goal first.  We have never travelled so travelling is hard to think about (crazy, I know).   Perhaps there will come a time when we would chance to dabble in travelling, other than to see family.  Bob just replied to his friend "I like to work, that is what I know".  The hobbies that Bob has take a fair bit of change to accomplish as well.  All in all in my deciphering, Bob is great therefore I am great.

We just celebrated our  FORTY THIRD wedding anniversary!!!  You may wonder, just like we have, "how is that possible!!!!".  I will tell you a wee secret:...... we were married as children.(laugh now)  Well, now a days, we would have been considered almost children.  However we were full fledged adults and knew everything.  We learned life together over these 43 years and learned that we knew almost nothing.  Every marriage is a huge learning curve----wow!!!!  Thinking how fast time has gone by can make me feel pensive(as perhaps melancoly is to strong a word!!!!?! ) Three years ago we had our pictures taken for our anniversary.  Bob was totally off of drugs at the time and was looking so very well.  I sent a number of those pics out kinda like an anniversary card rather than wait for Christmas.  I did this mainly because I didn't think Bob would ever be as well as he was then.  Now these three years later, he is still doing well.  I (we) have learned so much about trust and dependance and acceptance and the love of God during this time that for us not one of these days has been wasted.

Firstly

Lots to write, but firstly: Bob was to see Dr. Bahlis yesterday July 11 (our 43rd anniversary).  The news is encouraging and gave a greater cause for celebration.  First the numbers:
               WBC  4.8
               RBC    3.6
               HGB    113
               Platelets  168
               Creatine  15780
                Protein   2.07
Bob only did the tests the same day as the visit so results for tumor markers and a couple of other tests weren't ready when he saw Dr. B.

Dr. B. is going to move to a maintenance regime for a time and see how that goes.  Beginning this Fri. Bob will only receive the velcade as the chemo dose.  He will receive this every other week.  Dr. B. wasn't convinced about the Spain trial.  Bob will have to go into the hospital as it is an infusion.  The neuropathy will continue to be a side affect.  We are now rubbing his feet with something that has a high menthol content.  Dr.  B. suggested he read some good results from that???  We have started with Tiger Balm which Bob's uncle Jake had suggested years ago for whatever aches.

The other side affects---the diabetes (for 2 days) the constipation, and the hyper activity and no sleep from the dex, hopefully will be gone.  The  tiredness at other times may continue but that one is easy (mostly).

A PET scan is being set up for the next mo. or so.  That is what tells the real story.  Once we see those results we will truly rejoice with the maintenance regime.  Altho very thankful that the rest of the summer could be easier on Bob --drug wise.

One more number that Bob is pleased about--thot I'd share with you:  BMI is 27,1200 with the upper number for him being 30,000.  Sheesh--I am walking---hopefully diligently, every day to get a healthier BMI.

Oh yeah!!!! Oh Yeah!!!!!

Tues the 11th I went with Bob to our new South Campus Hospital.  The lab is open there but only for banker's hours.  One cannot make an appt. yet, but we were in and out, including finding where we parked, in half an hour.  This is such a lovely new facility and slowly opening in phases that there didn't seem to be any chaos.!!!!!  There are great volunteers who can tell by the glazed over eyes of the folks coming in that we don't have a clue where to go.  These volunteers don't just give you directions they actually take you to where you want to go!!!!  As they do that they continue telling you all sorts of details about the hospital.   I am thinking ALL hospitals need to do this........dreaming!!!!

Yesterday, June 12,  was a hospital day for Bob.  He had the arridia in the morning.  That is to help strengthen the bones.  Advancement in research  and delivery of medicine has made this now only a two hour delivery in a nice cushy reclining chair.  Sure hope Bob doesn't keep the whole ward awake!!  :-} The afternoon was spent waiting and seeing Dr. Bahlis.  Naturally all of the markers in the blood and urine were good.  He is thinking about the PET scan---in another month.  We really hope the doc does it as then they will see for sure what is going on in the bones.  The talk is back to a maintenance velcade dose.  Dr. B. talks about a few different scenarios  of what that may look like.  In Spain they have chemo once every 3 months for 3 weeks--velcade, dex and revlamid.  Here they have a treatment every other week.  The results look very similar.  Bob would like the Spainish version.  That way his feet may have a chance to recover from the neuropathy and he could feel  "normal' for a bit.  He begins this 3 week round on Fri. the 14th.  Bob will be missing one week tho on the 28th!!!!!!!  oh yeah , oh yeah.  So looking forward to seeing everyone  "down east". 

For my dear sister and any other medical types:  Kappa Free   22.8
                                                                         Lambda Free 17.2
                                                                          Ratio             1.33

                                                                        WBC             5.4
                                                                         RBC              3.8
                                                                         HGB            116
                                                                      Platelets           163
                                                                       U protein          .16

There was no Beta-2 Microglobulin given.

Summer is here altho the temps in Calgary do not prove it.  Yet with the intense sun it is very warm if one should be in the sun.  My garden is an orchestra--each plant comin "in" and blooming on cue.  ONLY  they are playing way to fast!!!!!!!

Continued Joys

What a truly great blessing Bob received this past 
Sunday--June 9-- when our granddaughter, Emily, 
asked her grandpa, Bob to baptize her.  It is a joy to
 see Emily make the decision to publicly declare her desire  to follow Jesus.  This has been a huge honor for Bob.  His whole life is about our families.
He loves them all so much and does his best to help out in any way he is able.  Standing and praying with Emily before the Lord and our church family was very humbling and gratifying.  We praise the Lord for what He is doing in the hearts and lives of our family.

The story of Joseph in the bible comes to mind.  Joseph tells his brothers that what they had done to him by selling him to slavery God used for good.  We see that truth so very clearly in hindsight that the many things in our married life together, one month shy of 43 years, that were tough and could have been disastrous, God has used for good.  Today I am able to say even the cancer diagnosis Bob received, the Lord has used in our lives to move us to knowing, loving and being more obedient to Jesus.  God is so much more real to us.  Eternity is more real...........................I really can't put it into words.  Praise God from Who all blessings flow.

Joys in the Midst

Sometimes the cancer walk down right stinks and we loose patience with the whole process.  Then a couple of "happy" items take the edge off of the cancer focus.

 This weekend  (May 25) was Emily's piano recital.  She has an amazing teacher who lives about three doors down from the Maguire's.  This was huge for Barbie when Shamus was little.  Emily could hop, skip and jump over to Donna's on her own.  As the years progressed and we came to know Donna more we realized what a gifted, educated music teacher she is.  This was Donna's 37th year of having her students do a recital.  Emily loves Donna to bits and Donna has shown her, and her husband's kindness and generosity to Tim, Barbie and the family.  All of this came together as Emily played her piece.  Brought tears to Bob and I and such an appreciation for the people who have taken time to pour love and care into our family.  To say the least Emily plays very well and we trust that she will continue on for many more years,  That was the morning's happy event.

Bob took Colton out after lunch for a drive into an area of the city that Colton was not familiar with and where we were told the testers from the registry Colton was taking his driver's test  from, (breath) do the testing.  Drum roll then it was time for our Colton to drive the test.  Bob waited for him and Tim and Barbie drove over for the big event.  One really needs to know Colton to really picture him coming across the parking lot with his happy smirk on----getting larger---maybe a real grin and the "aw shucks" body language.  He did it passed on the first time.  Truly awesome.  Barbie's first quote " I am never going for milk again".  Now mom and dad and grandpa are working things out with insurance etc before Colton will go solo.  This could not have happened if not for the kindness and care of others pouring into our Maguire family.  A  very special gentleman paid the cost for Colton to take driver training with AMA, thank you so much.  Grandpa Phil Northrup took some of his time to take Colton driving----RCMP driver training!!!  Of course grandpa Bob, who loves our grandkids so much, spent lots and lots of hours with Colton out driving which in the midst of the cancer was joy.  That was our afternoon happy event.

As we were sitting in church on Sunday morning our newest grandaughter was being born.  Mike and Cori's baby girl Gavrielle Ylena Marie was born at 10:43 am at home with two midwives present.  Gavrielle weighed 10 pounds 12 ounces.  Gavrielle and Cori did amazing.  Thank you to these midwives who took and are taking such good care of Cori and Gavrielle.  Cori was up almost immediately and had showered early in the afternoon. Gavrielle looks amazing--nice and pink--non of that birth trauma look.  I am thinking that with 14 grandkids our quiver is full.  What a huge blessing for us to have thees kids as part of our lives.  What a blessing adoption has been, what a blessing these women made in choosing life.  That was our Sunday happy event.

Bob is thinking that the one drug that he is taking that fights the neuropathy is kicking in!!!  The pain is much less and the walking is much easier.  Either Bob is getting use to the chemo side affects or they are just not as bad now, that  this course of chemo is almost done.  Either way this makes for a happier, easier week.

Ashton is almost 15 and went to take his learners test to begin driver training, with grandpa for now.  He did very well!!!!  The tester didn't have him finish the test as he had already done better on part of the test, than is needed to pass.  That added to our very good week.  Then up pipes Emily "in a year I will be 14 and I can get my learners".  Wow, these grandkids are growing up way to fast----or we are getting "older" way to fast.  A very fun happy day.

On this past Sat. we watched Colton drive away from Tim and Barbie's on his first solo driving trip!!!!  From their house we could see him drive all the way down and through the roundabout----that infamous Mckenzie Towne roundabout----HE MADE IT---big sigh of relief and a huge sensation in the chest----I do believe that was pride.!!!!!!  His first solo trip was to our house,with the lawn mower in the back, to cut our tiny strip of grass.  A new driver has to do what he has to do!!!!!!!  Made for a fun day  and good memory.

Sunday (June2) was Ashton's guitar recital.  The group that he takes lessons from come to the student's homes.  This has worked very well for Tim and Barbie.  Ashton has had Shane for a teacher since Ashton started on the acoustic guitar.  Ashton now plays electric almost exclusively.  Shane has lived through and stuck with Ashton's temper tantrums, defiance and plain ugly attitude.  Thanks Shane, for continuing to care about Ashton each and every week.  Not only Shane but all of Ashton's family are rewarded with a darn good guitarist.  Ashton played as the highlight of the concert.  The buttons really popped again!!!! Job well done Ashton.

We also received many pics of Gavrielle, this week,--a very alert baby, enjoy seeing Maks and Nik and Taylor in the pics.  I keep in touch on FB by seeing what our Quebec grandkids are doing.  AHHhhhhhh life is good.!!!!  These are some of the happy events that keep things on an even keel.  Praise God for helping us see these events as pure joy.

Maylong-------Victoria Day Weekend

Maylong weekend is over so now we can say that summer has arrived.  Bob and I haven't been away on the Maylong for....... sheesh I don't know how long!!! ;}  This Maylong we took a road trip to SK. to see our son Mike and his family.   It was a lovely uplifting time.  Bob did really well even tho he had had chemo on Fri. We drove out on Sat. and back on Monday.  Kinda short time for a long drive.

It was so enjoyable to be out in the country and seeing all of the spring activities taking place on the farms.  Lots and lots of seeding.  Huge equipment doing what I could only imagine would be acres and acres in a day.  I didn't see one husband and wife team loading a 12 foot disc drill by pail fulls hmmm.  Lots of fields were already beginning to grow---you could see that hint of green just emerging from the soil.  We also saw the most amazing deep green field of alfalfa (once our specialty).  Wow, "that will be ready to cut in a matter of a couple of weeks."  Then there was either fall rye or winter wheat that was a good size.  We saw so many cow/calf herds with all the sweet baby calves.  I took special note of the farm yards---rotor tillers parked by or in gardens----BIG gardens, nice, bright white stakes to mark the rows of each vegetable, garden tractors cutting grass, push mowers doing the trimming around trees and flower beds.  Bob and I couldn't help but talk about our old farm and all the things both great and crazy that we had done.  Knowing what details are involved in all these pastoral scenes made us stop and think!!!!!!!!!! and give thanks that we have been there, and done that.

As I write this we are still awaiting another wee granddaughter.  Thot we might have been with Mike and Cori to help out but no, baby is on her own time schedule.  The family is doing well, Cori is amazing as a wife and mom.  The three little ones will be 27 months apart from oldest to new baby.  Taylor is 12 and is a big help.  Mike is doing well, sorted life out and dealing well not only with baggage but also the future.  Mike and Cori see and correspond with Mike's 3 kids in MB and I think that is a positive.  They are looking to God for input and direction in their lives.  No one knows the direction or purpose or how God uses ones past to impact our future.  We trust Mike and family to the Lord and pray that the Lord will continue to make their path straight and sure as they go on in their lives.

NORMAL------ever changing.  It seems that Bob's normal will be chemo in some form forever.  We will both be dealing with the side effects of that chemo most of the time.  Bob will be having pain from neuropathy and will be using a walking stick to help keep his balance.  Do not be quick to judge someone who stumbles on a flat even floor.  See only the love between two people when someone has his arm or hand on a companions shoulder.  We are not stopping the fight or to deal with the cancer, we are dealing with the new normal and the reality of multiple myeloma.

There is a beautiful rain as I write this almost a week after the Maylong.  The rain refreshes and brings hope.  That is how we always thought of rain in the Brandon Hills.  In my little yard I still see it that way----my shrubs and trees will love this first real rain of this growing season.  Near the rivers folks are beginning to think of high water and beginning to plan for flooding, as the spring runoff from the mountains is still to come.  I am still thinking 3 inches of rain is darn nice plus I have my cool rubber boots by the back door.

Each new day brings hope as well.  Enjoy each day.